Baby's Birthday gift

[Rosebyanothername19]

It was my DCs 1st birthday a little while ago and my BIL messaged well wishes on the day and asked if there was anything DC wanted/needed. I said i had been thinking of getting some first shoes as DC likes to walk around outside but isnt walking unaided so they didnt need to be robust. I sent him a link to the type and measured my DCs feet so he knew what size to get as it varies shop to shop. My DC was premature and is very small and only in 3-6 month clothes so the sizing was important.

So today we got a message to say that they had got some shoes and got 12-24 months as babies grow so fast. It's very true and really lovely of them to have got her something as they really didnt need to, especially in the circumstances, but I did say that it was for now rather than to grow into and I find it odd to ask for specifics then ignore half of it.

My AIBU is that I mentioned this to my husband and he said I was being entitled and ungrateful.

AIBU to be a bit miffed that they got shoes that wont fit for maybe a year?

Yeah I think it’s a bit off to complain about a gift. It’s normal to buy stuff on the big side for a baby as it’s obviously better to grow into than for stuff to be too small.

YANBU to be miffed. YABU to say anything to your BIL about it unless you needed it to be the right size now due to your own money situation and can’t just wait for her to grow into them or he brings up has she been wearing them. If he asks that question you can 100 percent say no as she’s too small, you bought them in a bigger size than I said (in a jokey light hearted way of course).

What a strange thing to be annoyed about , they will fit when your kid is bigger so save them for then ??

Oh no, I'd never say anything to my BIL and was definitely going to save them for when they fit. Like I said, it was lovely of them to get her a gift at all, especially in the circumstances. It was more my husband getting annoyed and saying I was entitled and ungrateful that I was questioning as I thought that, considering I was very specific about the size and the type and the reason, they might have followed that if they wanted to get something she needed rather than ignore half of it.

YANBU. If they won’t fit for a year then “first shoe” type shoes won’t be very much use when she’s 2.

You've probably realised from this that you need to make a much more straightforward request in the future, maybe a wish list on Amazon with books/toys/equipment they can pick from?

The link you sent of the "type of thing you were thinking of" - did they have shoes in the correct size available for delivery? i.e a two second job to look at the 5 pairs available, put one in a basket, checkout & pay or was it more a something like this but they don't actually make in DC's size or delivery is impossible at the moment? I'm trying to see how any shoes sized as 12-24 months could be anything other than a very unstructured pram shoe or slipper which would be totally unsuitable for walking. Shoes need to fit properly and have different requirements depending on the stage of crawling/cruising/walking.

I'd be a bit frustrated too. It's one of those things that people without children do. He probably lost the details you sent so just randomly chose based on a vague idea of what he thought, or sent someone else (partner) or didn't realise how much they cost when he offered.

I still get teased for buying my baby niece some pink leather boots for her first birthday. I just thought they were so cute. I was 21 at the time.

I'm surprised you asked someone else to buy your babies first shoes.

I'm surprised you asked someone else to buy your babies first shoes

Why? Babies only care about love, milk and a dry nappy. They do not give a stuff who entered a series of numbers onto a keypad in order to procure their footwear.

I also wouldn't have wanted someone buying first shoes as I'd want to make sure they were suitable and fit properly, something that's 12-24 months doesn't sound like an actual fitted shoe.

I remember buying babies first shoes as a special moment. Also think correct fitting is really important

Your dad sounds as tiny as mine was at her first bday. She didn't actually walk until 18 MTHS (also v prem). She was so tiny, she needed shoes MADE for her by the NHS as nowhere did shoes in such a tiny size. Are you sure it was even possible to buy shoes that small.

I'm also finding it a strange request. Surely you'd want them actually fitted for such soft little feet?

Dd