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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if anyone would support or sign a petition?

22 replies

Tjsmumma · 02/05/2020 21:51

I want to create a new petition regarding the support for people on Mat leave, not pay for everyone on maternity leave but ask for support for parents coming off maternity leave, being unable to find childcare which then leaving them unable to work also asking for support put into place for mothers in any stage of their Mat leave to get support in the way of counselling/something in regards to the PND rise it may cause?

There's been out rage and rightly so in my opinion regarding this petition going around about everyone getting an extension for baby groups which i dont feel is necessary.

But, maybe ome calling for more support for specific areas may do better?

Maybe im wrong and just thinking way to much into it, so thought id ask here!

Would anyone on Mat leave sign this or help ne set it up?

Im not calling for everyone to get pay, im wondering of your circumstances (if you dont mind me asking) to get a knowledge of whats going on realistically;

what do you want? What would help? Have you just returned to work and are struggling?

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Whatthelockdown · 02/05/2020 21:56

I feel this is a way better thing to be signing or bringing up!

AnneLovesGilbert · 02/05/2020 21:57

It’s not clear what you’re suggesting as you’ve conflated a number of different issues.

Maternity leave isn’t bad in the U.K. Parents can use unpaid aid parental leave if needed.

Who do you think is going to pay for anything on top of what we have now? The country will be paying back the costs of the pandemic for generations as it is.

Whatthelockdown · 02/05/2020 21:57

I personally would want some security of being able to be eligible for benefits, my security of my job, at the moment im not eligible for a mortgage holiday as i am currently bringing in an income, but this is only temporary. Will i be eligible after or will i be turfed out when im unable to pay my bills.

mynameiscalypso · 02/05/2020 21:59

I'm not entirely sure what exactly you want? I'm on mat leave and due to go back to work in August. I organised the childcare for my return this week - the nursery we're going to isn't open for children but the admin team is still working on admissions etc. I personally have found lockdown helpful for my mental health and have loved being able to spend so much time with my DS without feeling like I have to go out to baby groups. I think I'm actually incredibly lucky to be on mat leave right now as we have no fuss about childcare or trying to WFH with a small child.

Tjsmumma · 02/05/2020 22:00

@annelovesgilbert no, im not suggesting it is in the slightest! We are very lucky here. I just mean, most peopel are signing this new petition going around as thdy feel it benefits them as they are struggling to find childcare going forward back to work, some feel their mental health is being impacted due to covid, some are worried they will be able to pay the mortgage when they come off Mat leave and if they will even be furloughed. My petition would call for security and support, not necessarily in the way of '3 months extra paid leave' especially not just for baby groups.

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Tjsmumma · 02/05/2020 22:03

@mynameiscalypso thank you! No my point isnt actually for myself, i have personally loved lock down, had my DP here in our own bubble unabld to socialise and have our gorgeous DD here, couldn't ask for any better.

But, i made a PP about this petition going around and a lot of people are signing it due to childcare issues and worrying about bills etc, not what the initial petition was for, the claim for baby groups.

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Tjsmumma · 02/05/2020 22:05

Maybe if there was security like there is for people being furloughed, mortgage/rent holidays, some support for MH issues arising some people may feel less inclined to sign a petition they dont soley agree with i.e everyone getting 3 momths extra for something they feel robbed of. Which in turn makes more of a strain if it does pass? I may not make much sense really, hence why i came here before starting it

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AhComeOnNow · 02/05/2020 22:06

Just returned from MAT leave and rightly so (in my opinion) I'm now treated exactly the same as everyone else. I'm a key worker and husband is now furloughed so no childcare issues. Before he was furloughed he had to work from home with baby- just like many many people are doing with children at home. At least he didn't have to try to home school as well. He used to be a key worker, so if he still were, we would have used a key worker childcare place which, if our nursery had closed, we could have contact the council about or would have tried to find a child minder.

In this country we are very lucky to have the maternity leave we do in relation to the percentage tax we pay. We also have access to a lot of support that everyone else does in relation to corona virus: furlough pay, mortgage holiday, landlords not able to evict, food vouchers on top of benefits, many many churches running very cheap grocery shops and food banks. If I needed access to mental health support I would first contact my midwife, home visitor, GP and also feel confident that i could quickly get a list of charities and other support I'd be able to contact.

(Disclaimer- I've never voted Conservative. I'm absolutely against what they stand for. But I do believe that there IS a hell of a lot of support out there if you just look for it)

KeepWashingThoseHands · 02/05/2020 22:07

I've read about this in another thread. Not having a go OP but I don't get it. You cite the potential rise in PND - so the same as in the overall rise in MH issues? Difficulty of finding childcare - so the same for lots of people now who are not essential workers but still working and who may have to somehow figure out going back to work when schools are shut or not normal timetable.

Use and extra month paternity leave.

Don't get it sorry.

mynameiscalypso · 02/05/2020 22:07

I see what you mean; again, I think I'm quite lucky though. Being on maternity leave offers some protection from redundancy (which is going to be the inevitable consequence particularly once the furlough scheme finishes) I think it's tough for everyone really no matter their circumstances.

KeepWashingThoseHands · 02/05/2020 22:08

*parental leave

Tjsmumma · 02/05/2020 22:09

@AhComeOnNow thank you for yoir reply! No definitely, im glad you were able to get that support!! Seems a lot of people I've seen are worried they will not get this right after returning off mat leave so great to see an opinion from someone returning off of it! I dont agree with the initial petition at all in regards to people needing it for baby groups

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KeepWashingThoseHands · 02/05/2020 22:11

But when you go back to work and if furlough is still happening, that will be available to you same as all other employees. What do you mean additional security and support? Everyone is worried about bills.

If you're going to do a petition you need to be very clear what it is you're actually asking for, as it's not clear here I'm afraid.

Tjsmumma · 02/05/2020 22:14

@KeepWashingThoseHands No i totally agree with you, if you read my thread about the petition i made a few daud ago and still had comments today. Im totally on board wity everything you have said.

But, it seems a lot of people are signing it, not really reading it, thinking it applies to them for soem reason or other, whether that be its impacting their MH, furlough may not be applicable to them (saw an earlier comment and one here stating to different things) child care for babies, baby groups (totally dont agree with) i just wondered how it was affecting people to then maybe potentially start one to see what they could put into place not in regards to money as such but security.

Ive stated also about using holiday, the 4 weeks both parents are entitled to etc but a lot of people do not understand or know about it. Im more concerned a petition is going about that a llt of people aren't simply understanding which could then make more of an impact on our already strained economy after this.

Im not out for a freebie or any security myself. Im happy to go back to work or take unpaid leave (although it wojld be a strain) or parental leave myself.

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Tjsmumma · 02/05/2020 22:16

@KeepWashingThoseHands honestly this is why i asked the questions above? To see what people are worried about and what they would want? Im not overly good with words. Like i said, it's nlt me personally, we are fine, my dp is on furlough i still have months left of my mat leave and im not overly worried about coming off, im more concerned about this petition going through. Maybe i shouldnt of put it out there on the world wide web but im anxious about what it could do to my DD generation kf it passes.

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KeepWashingThoseHands · 02/05/2020 22:23

I'm sorry to be blunt but 'security' in the current economic situation can't be offered to anyone. All bets are off. I guess there are some safeguards regarding redundancy on maternity leave, but not going to help if the business is no longer viable and everyone is let go.

Why would someone returning from mat leave be more deserving of this 'something'
than another person? What about someone else who has MH issues, or a disabled person, single parent, someone returning from sick leave, anyone struggling financially.

What you're describing is a lack of knowledge so would suggest a blog or something not a petition.

Tjsmumma · 02/05/2020 22:34

@KeepWashingThoseHands so what happens if this petition passes then and hundreds of thousands of people get an extra 3 months maternity pay? Surely that will knock our economy more.

Im not saying anybody on mat leave is entitled to any extra, at all. But, when pregnant and on mat leave we have certain rights which seems a lot of people (not myself!) are worrying about, like you say a lot of the country are in a similar position, mat leave or not.

I have stated the exact same as you in previous threads, but, ill reiterate my point again that people are signing this thinking they have no support or anything after mat leabe when it isnt the case.

Eben if the government reiterate the points already there, that will help people feel better. Not someone who has a 5 week old or anything like that, people who are due back in the near future, again, not me!

So that comment is completely unnecessary. I know my rights and whats going on, clearly a lot of people do not. Please dont treat me like someone who is uneducated and stupid.

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KeepWashingThoseHands · 02/05/2020 22:45

I meant for YOU to write a blog to educate other people.

Anyway think that's enough on this.

Tjsmumma · 02/05/2020 22:51

@keepwashingthosehands sorry, i misjudged your comment! How would i ever even get that out to general public on such a great scale like the petition did? It multipled hourly! X

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eurochick · 03/05/2020 00:26

If the petition reaches the magic number it has to be debated. It doesn't automatically change the law.

Sleepyquest · 03/05/2020 00:43

I don't understand. You started a thread saying the other petition was only signed by women who were entitled and grabby.
Now you want to start another petition citing some of the reasons women have for the other petition!!

Personally, I would like some more paid leave to:
-sort out childcare issues. We cannot look at nurseries. Grandparents are all shielding. Local childminder is closed and also full.
-Bond with DD outside of the home and housing estate paths which we take our daily walk

  • get her used to other people and other situations again
  • go to baby groups Wink because they do help with development even though people keep saying they don't. But also just take her anywhere, the seaside, the garden centre, the park!!
  • spend some time getting myself back on track. I have completely lost who I am as a person. I had just begun feeling confident and then I was locked away in my house for 7 weeks with a precious baby and just hoping I'm doing the right things!

I say paid leave because my husband has lost a lot of work so we are not in the best financial position although coping. If We both went back to work tomorrow, our baby would have nowhere to go.

Anyway hope this helps. I'm sure lots of people will call be grabby etc whilst they are sat at home doing jigsaw puzzles being paid 80% of their wages!

I do not think for one minute anything will be granted and we will all just suck it up

Tjsmumma · 03/05/2020 08:16

Hi @Sleepyquest -

No, my previous thread didnt state all were entitled and grabby - my main point was that people signing it to get more paid leave to go to baby groups IMO was totally unnecessary and an extra strain on our already stretched economy.

I went on to state multiple times, that if you needed extra support in regards to -

If you are a keyworker needing childcare.

Unable to return to work due to childcare.

Worried about returning to work (about above reasons)

Worried about furloughs and your rifhys returning back.

Mental health issues and worries.

Then it was a different story and i agree, those people should have something put into place or a promise made (like the rest of thd country)

Not, for going to baby groups and 'bonding' as, at the end of the day, no one has taken your baby away for thsi period and said 'no you cant bond' your baby is in your arms, safe, loved and bonding with you which is what this time is for (is it not?)

No, you may not be able to look around a nursery, but, a lot have online pages, ofsted ratings are available online, you can call uo to get a feel of their routine etc. If you are needed back as a key worker there are numerous nurseries open for this purpose.

They are also hoping to reopen nurseries in the first phase and schools shortly after www.gov.uk/government/publications/closure-of-educational-settings-information-for-parents-and-carers/closure-of-educational-settings-information-for-parents-and-carers (if you are concerned)

Im not sure why you need to bond outside the house as such, has someone told you this is detrimental to her development if you arent sitting in a coffee shop with her bonding? Or has anyone said you can't take your daily exercise around the park or beach?

Do you mind me asking how old your DD is?

Please, where are you reading that baby groups are really vital for her development? What happened before all of these groups, did people lack social skills or struggle later in life? If anything starting nursery at a younger age is way more beneficial than going to a baby group (depending on age of child but again, going to nursery does WAY more developmentally for a child)
Also, there are lots of groups doing online session and lots of apps you can get to encourage development for your DD at home, which is realyl beneficial for her development also. www.google.com/amp/s/theconversation.com/amp/from-signing-to-sensory-can-trendy-baby-classes-really-boost-a-childs-development-56109

The argument about getting yourself back on track, im sure any new/mother feels the same way, covid or not? Surely? We have grown a precious being inside of us, before that we put ourselves first, no one else to think about. DC are born and we are no longer priority, baby comes first and, no mother has a manual telling you want to do, when to do it etc. We are all guessing, all wondering if we are doing it right or wrong. Again, covid or not? But, i completely agree with the sense of how you feel i just dont think it would be anu different if things were in fact different.

A lot of what you are mentioning, there are things already in place for or this is why i wanted to ask in a petition, for a security for ML mothers as much as it can be in this tricky time.

Im not sure why you seem so bitter about your colleagues on furlough? Is it because they are also off work paid? Are they getting a higher percentage than you are on mat leave? Do you feel entitled to that money but cant because you are on Mat leave? What would of happened if yoir baby was a few months earlier and you were already back at work when this happened, it would be a similar situation, would it not? No childcare, less money, stress about DD not having social interaction.

Are either of you keyworkers? Becuase if not the government doesnt deem you as an essential worker, which why in place they habe put furloughs and UC in place for people struggling, see if you are entitled to any of the support already in place.

My main point, wasn't to get more 'free paid time off to bond with our DC and take them to groups and coffee shops' which the initial petition stated and not what a lot of people are signing it for.

It wasto ask the government to state what is in place, what they are going to do to support our returns to work.

Would we if needed to return (key workers) be able to find childcare easily (i my self am a key worker and a nursery practitioner) to help our returns to work

If not needed back, would we automatically go onto a furlough scheme like the rest of ohr employees.

Are our jobs still as secure as before (our rights still the same)

What support is in placr for people on Mat leave but struggling due to partners being on furlough (i.e UC or mortgage/rent holidays) as some people arent able to do s mortgage/rent holiday as we have income, coming in still but what happens after?

What support is in place for people with MH issues after Covid 19 (not just mat leave)

If im honest, a LOT of this is already spoken about or told in variously forms if people looked it up, but, they arent and are signing petitions which could damage the economy more and in turn making life harder for everyone involved.

The practicalities of this inital petition are hard to gauge, who is eligible? What sbout mothers already returned but were affected by covid? Would brand new mums be entitled?

Your points raised can be easily solved by the extra 8 weeks (4 weeks psr parent) at parental leave after this is over to do everything you have stated, you both have y right to that paid time off or the extra 3 months (depending on age of your DD) un paid if you feel baby groups are that necessary

Anyway, it's all here - maternityaction.org.uk/covidmaternityfaqs/

But, again i wasnt looking for anything paid as such, just some suggestions or support in put into place.

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