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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wanting to sort CSA.

4 replies

Breastfeedingworries · 02/05/2020 14:30

Hello all, happy Saturday.

Basically I can’t get through to CSA and not sure what to do. Or whether I should as not wanting to rock the boat during this uncertain time.

My dds father is a key worker, also is working a lot of over time and due to his mum being high risk no longer has dd. (Fact he doesn’t have her matters as you’re usually allocated more money)

In the past Hes actually said “I earnt 300 for a weekend, I can’t have her extra” She used to go over night two Saturdays a month. (So wasn’t a lot) because he chooses to work 60 hour week. He has her every Wednesday day also.

He is helpful, brings bits and bobs and has always paid me 160. He has refused to pay more and changes whenever I bring up money. He’s nice otherwise but it’s starting to get to me. I’m not working, I’m unsure about the future. I’m struggling putting things on credit cards.

When I’ve put his basic in it says I’m entitled to 41 pounds a week. When I’ve spoke to CSA in the past they hinted all his over time would be included. So I could be getting around 200 mark.

Now I hate that it all seems to make me look greedy and grabby. I don’t know what to do now as I never went through with it and it seems like people have had bad experiences and it puts you off. Mostly I don’t want animosity and stress. I’m buying clothes shoes, also fun toys and I’m not wanting to make money. Just want help to break even. Her toes point inwards it’s called pigeon feet, so I have to get proper shoes. She’s 17 months. They don’t come cheap. 160 just really doesn’t touch the sides Sad

So does anyone know how I can set up new case in these times? Phone line is shut.

Also do you think I should? So am I being unreasonable?

Thanks all.

OP posts:
Breastfeedingworries · 02/05/2020 14:32

Sorry I meant to put getting around 250 mark or possible more with his over time. I’m also dreading this letter he’d get ect. It’s why I haven’t done it in the past. He won’t agree to up it or even talk about money with me.

OP posts:
Lucyccfc68 · 02/05/2020 14:35

Just do it.

Breastfeedingworries · 02/05/2020 14:36

I can’t get hold of them and not sure how now the numbers down.

OP posts:
QueenOfHell669 · 02/05/2020 14:41

Unpopular opinion but I wouldn’t do anything for what is essentially an extra (and probably temporary) £40. Sadly the csa are useless and don’t effectively chase/collect from financially absent fathers. So if he starts hiding his income or deliberately cutting his hours you’ll get even less than the £160pm, or he could just stop paying, then go self employed or change jobs whenever/if they actually pull their fingers out and get an attachment of earnings. Yanbu but I wouldn’t risk it personally. Sorry Flowers

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