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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if the deposit would go to me?

50 replies

Hettysdog · 02/05/2020 10:58

I’m renting. Been in the house 6 years. My ex paid the deposit for the house along with the fees and first months rent. He moved out 3 months later. I claimed benefits and stayed in the house ever since. We have a child together and now I’m moving into a new house with my new boyfriend.

I’ve told my ex I’m moving and he’s saying he needs the deposit back. I’ve told him I need it for myself and my child too be into a better home! I haven’t asked the letting agent yet as I don’t want to....I’m afraid of what they might say.

Will the deposit go back to me even though he paid it? I told them years ago that he’s moved out. He’s not on the tenancy anymore. Anyone help?

OP posts:

yorkshirecountrylass · 02/05/2020 12:16

Compensation?! Really?! If he's not pulling his weight in child maintenance take him through the system to get a legally binding arrangement set up. Give him the deposit money back and stop grabbing compensation for a child who, unless I'm massively missing something, is 50% yours!!

Winterwoollies · 02/05/2020 12:30

Sadly, his lack of funding for his child is an irrelevance, or rather, a separate matter. You can seek that legally.

However, he paid the deposit and the money is his. You don’t get to keep it, no matter how wronged you feel. By your own logic, you should be able to help yourself to his pay cheque or any cash you saw lying on the side just because you feel you’re owed it! Bonkers.

LadyPenelope68 · 02/05/2020 12:35

It will go back to him of course, he's the one who paid it and his name was on tenancy agreement to start with. If there was any legal issue, theybjigt possibly say 50/50 split, but there is no way it will all be yours.

Shitsgettingcrazy · 02/05/2020 12:38

Course it will go back to him.

Bbang · 02/05/2020 12:39

If you’ve taken over the tenancy it will possibly go back to you. However it depends on where it’s stored though if it’s with the DPS or such and under his name/login it will probably go back to him or he may be the only one Abel to access it.

Either way it’s his money and you should return it. It’s theft if you don’t and he may chase you in the small claims court. I did with my ex when he did this to me and won, ended up costing him far more than if he had just returned my money. Some food for thought.

blue25 · 02/05/2020 12:40

It’s his deposit. Why should it go to you?

Juanmorebeer · 02/05/2020 12:43

This depends. On the tenancy agreement AND deposit protection paperwork was it changed into your name only rather than joint names?

If it was then you will get it, this exact situation happened to me a few years back. We moved in jointly but then he fucked off. The landlady was happy for me to stay so gave me a new agreement in my own name and changed it over.

If this didn't happen in your case you stand little chance with the deposit people.

I remember it being very important who's email address was listed in the contact paperwork for the deposit, so search your email inbox now to see if the confirmation went to you.

Bbang · 02/05/2020 12:43

sigh able*

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 02/05/2020 12:46

It’s his money. It’s very possible it was put into a tenancy deposit scheme with his bank details registered so will automatically go to him.

Why isn’t your new boyfriend providing a deposit for this new place?

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 02/05/2020 12:47

Go to CMS for child support.

Poppi89 · 02/05/2020 13:09

Yes it would go back to him. You would hope he might only ask for half if that, but it is 100% his, unfortunately.

Have you gone to cms about more maintenance?

LellyMcKelly · 02/05/2020 13:16

If he paid it surely it’s his And I’m not sure why you think you’re entitled to it. I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to get it back from you before.

The lack of maintenance is a completely separate issue and you should pursue him for that separately.

GabsAlot · 02/05/2020 13:22

My dsis went into a tenancy with her then partner-he paid the deposit it gos into the dps nothing to do with who pays the rent-it went back to him at the end of the tenancy as he was the one who paid it

recycledteenager24 · 02/05/2020 13:39

op you've had the lecture because you come across as a bit cf in your 'why should he get it ?' you and new bf need to sort your own deposit out.

heartsonacake · 02/05/2020 13:48

YABVU. He paid the deposit, legally he gets it back.

Why would you think you would be entitled to money you didn’t pay? When he moved out is irrelevant.

Your child maintenance situation is an entirely separate issue and nothing to do with the deposit. You can’t try to steal it from him because of other financial issues you’re having with him.

theemptywinebox · 02/05/2020 13:50

When my ex moved out, I gave him half the value of the deposit from my own money, and I stayed in the flat with our child. Just to save any hassle in the future. Then when I moved I got the full deposit.

heartsonacake · 02/05/2020 13:50

He’s just not bothered about her so why should I give him it back? I do everything for dd. Compensation

No, OP, that’s not compensation. That’s theft.

theemptywinebox · 02/05/2020 13:50

If he paid all the deposit then it's his money on hold until it's returned. It's not your money.

ilikebooksandplants · 02/05/2020 13:55

I think legally you are being unreasonable but tbh I’m not so sure I’d be delighted for my ex to receive hundreds of £ either tbh, especially if he didn’t pay for his own bloody kid. Keep your head down and see what happens!

Yankathebear · 02/05/2020 13:55

It can’t be nice for your new partner to think that your ex is paying for his (and yours) home. Start afresh and enjoy your new family home.

bobanana · 02/05/2020 14:00

I do everything for dd. Compensation

Your child is not a burden! Doing anything for them doesn't need to be rewarded or compensated for. It's his loss that he does not want to play his part in parenting. Give him his deposit and tell him to fuck off! You will always praise yourself for not needing a single thing off him!

sauvignonblancplz · 02/05/2020 14:06

YBVU.

However my brother-in-law recently separated from his gf. She took him to the cleaners , after putting 0 into the property they bought she got a hefty bit of money out of it .
The law is strange very strange .
You’re being greedy and morally wrong . I don’t understand why you would want something that wasn’t yours.

Poppi89 · 02/05/2020 14:10

I do understand though OP as he was only there 3 months and you've been there 6 years and if he's paying you hardly any maintenance it must seem unfair - but he still paid it.

BacklashStarts · 02/05/2020 14:21

It will depend whose name is on the deposit scheme it’s paid into. If everything moved over to your make years ago it may well all be in your name.

How you divide it up once you get it back is another question. Do you have a record of how much child maintenance he’s paid? If you do you could work our how much he should have paid, minis it off the deposit and give him the remainder.

recycledteenager24 · 03/05/2020 13:56

compensation for caring for dd ?

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