How are others keeping their spirits up?

[MrPickles73]

I am feeling seriously fed up. I am usually an optimist but the current situation is seriously wearing me down. I work full -time (from home at the mo). We have 2 children of primary school age. One is self-managing, the other one needs constant supervision. Because of COVID19 the children are off school. DH doesn't work as he has mental health issues and a traumatic brain injury. He is not good at looking after the children, He can feed them etc but no good with the home schooling - just too stressful. So I am doing the home schooling before work, during lunch and after work. The school has quite a demanding program. Weekends I am cleaning, mowing the lawn etc. I've got a bad shoulder from the stress and being on the PC all day. I'm totally running out of sense of humour. All I can do is eat! And I dont want to end up enormous.
How else are people coping without resorting to alcohol and food? I am running for 30 mins 3 times a week but I do this more for weight management than enjoyment...
I am seriously pissed off with no light at the end of the tunnel i.e. schools returning.. how is everyone else keeping their sh!t together?

Walking for an hour, eating and red wine. And naps. Wish I could be more helpful, but my only useful thing to add is that I am dropping the carbs as of today, so even if I'm inhaling food it won't make me fat(ter).

That sounds good DysonFury but with 2 kids and working fulltime there's little time for naps (tempting though they sound). I wonder how others juggling home schooling and working are coping and how they are doing it?

Well I was coming on to say food!!

I watch a lot of TV too. Try to do my make up every day..that makes me feel better.

Watching with interest. We have 2 primary aged dc, and one has ASD. They both need supervision for home learning and ideally doing it individually. On a very good day they do 2 hours study a weekday. Dh and I are working around the kids,him ft me 4 days. Life just feels quite chaotic and unproductive, working bits here and there. Feel like we're doing a bad job of everything!

We are only getting through it by sharing the load, and having very understanding employers. Our kids are the same - one mostly ok once we set him off on his tasks, one needs constant supervision so we switch off with him and block out our work diaries when the other has to work. When we unavoidably both have work calls (like yesterday from 3-5 both DH and I had to be on calls), the one with the less "visible" call sits on laptop on headphones and camera off next to the kids to keep them on track. So yesterday that was DH as he had to dial into a meeting of 15 people so he was mostly listening and could sit with the kids.

Lunches are mostly ham & cheese sandwiches or PB&J and I am making a lot of tray-bake dinners - minimal prep time, long time in the oven while I work.

I know your DH has his issues and difficulties but instead of focusing on what he can't help with, is there anything he can do? How about the cleaning and gardening - can he do any of that? Cooking?

If I watch TV then I have to watch something the kids want to watch (we only have 1 TV). The smallest doesnt like films so tbh its more hassle than relaxing..

I was wondering the same. What could your husband do in the house / garden? Could he take the kids out for their daily walk (maybe make it twice daily) to give you a break?
I would also have a word with the school and say you just can't get everything they set done. You won't be the only person in that position.

Yes I feel like it is a real shit show. DH had 2 meltdowns on Friday and the second one was shouting that I do F all. This almost sent me over the edge. I dont feel I can do anymore!

Alcohol mainly.

DH is a bit of a hermit so doesnt really go out so getting him to take out the children would be a miracle. I have spoken to the youngest's teacher to say we are struggling to meet all their expectations. But then I feel I am letting my son down... all the pictures of people doing 'amazing / creative' stuff on FB just makes me feel worse.

Delete your Facebook for a start!

Cooking nice meals and baking nice treats with dc1, movie nights, playing in garden with dc. Struggling to keep my spirits up atm and looking forward to being able.to go out again.

Deleting FB could be theratpeutic! Thank you.

DH does all the cooking

Meditating and getting out into the sunshine with the dog. I don't know how I'd have got through this without the little stinker.

Veg gardening. Drinking wine every night. Reading.

We have weekly fun things booked in. We join in a pub quiz via Facebook on a Tuesday and watch people doing live music from home over the weekend - DS joins in with this as he loves music. We also have a weekly zoom drinks with friends ( we meet weekly when not in lockdown anyway)

We're both working from home in full time stressful jobs while having a 5 year old at home. It can be stressful and tiring but our virtual social life is keeping us sane!

Whoa whoa whoa, your DH shouts at you and says you do fuck all when you are the breadwinner AND doing all the homeschooling?

I'm hazarding a guess that you probably also do all the cleaning, the laundry, the gardening... Who does the life admin? Who books the dental checkups? Who coordinates your DS's clothes, uniforms, activities, new shoes? I'm prepared to bet that is ALL you. Am I right?

That sounds tough OP. I'm doing all the home schooling and domestic chores (because DH works extremely long days) but only work part time. I find it stressful juggling the home schooling, work, domestic chores, shopping etc. In other ways life is less stressful because I'm not rushing to and from school, work, clubs, sports lessons etc. What's keeping me sane is finding ways I can switch off. I have a long daily walk in nature (could be in the morning before work, in my lunch break or in the evening). I usually bring the kids but sometimes go on my own for heads space. I enjoy pottering about in the garden on my own. I read a gripping book. I get my husband to allow me a lie in most days (as I'm with the kids all day) and he gives me a break now and then throughout the day. Even short breaks help me destress.

Keeping busy at the min.

DH can't walk at the min so I am wfh full time, homeschooling and doing all the housework and cooking.

I'm sat down now having a red wine 🍷 because I batch cooked earlier This week.

Doing a YouTube workout each day (usually Joe Wicks), watching a lot of box sets, ideally with subtitles so I can’t go on my phone at the same time. Buying and using lots of candles and creating lovely displays each evening. Having a long bath each day and still trying to do my hair and make up nice.

I'm a single parent whose kids dad barely sees them, I'll admit I'm finding it really tough at the moment having no break but I wake up every morning and am thankful for that alone. It's tough but it wont be forever. I remind myself of these these things repeatedly through the day.

Cooking nice meals, baking with the kids, excercise, reading, watching T.V. Taking lock down one day at a time. Trying to think positively x

My Children say that my cooking has got really good during lock down! Cleaning- doing jobs I have wanted to do around the house but never have time.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself with the home schooling. If they miss a bit of school it’s not the end of the world as they will be back soon. Try to take a bit of time for yourself, even if it means using iPads, TV as a babysitter if your husband is not well enough to step up. Just keep thinking about the light at the end of the tunnel when schools re-open. Maybe do a fun online exercise routine class thing with your children.