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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Disposable income - rich house, poor house

97 replies

Theukisgreatt · 01/05/2020 23:54

So I've called into a bit of a hole watching rich house, poor house. Though the name is really awful, it actually is a fairly nice show where the everyone seems to learn something.

The 'poor' house tends to have 80-200 a week and the 'rich' house seems to have about 1200. This is after all essential bills but doesn't include food, petrol or school fees (as far as I can tell).

Both are quite examples and both ends se to have problems, so I was musing what the perfect middle point would be? Or is there one?

OP posts:
LipsyGirl · 02/05/2020 07:12

I watch it too Op, I find it pretty interesting actually. But I hate it when the “poor” couple spends hundreds on the first day on a farm shop. They could use that on something better. I watched one when the couple spent £400 on a farm shop Hmm then couldn’t buy other things they needed towards the end, I found this frustrating

LonginesPrime · 02/05/2020 07:31

both ends se to have problems, so I was musing what the perfect middle point would be

I haven't seen the show, but I should imagine that, like most reality TV, it's not the money itself (or lack thereof) that causes the problems, but the families' issues and attitude.

Producers deliberately choose interesting cases and then obviously edit the show to fit their own narrative so reality shows rarely portray actual real life.

There is no ideal amount of money that works for everyone as everyone's tastes, wants, interests and needs are different. If I had more disposable income I'd likely save it anyway so it wouldn't impact my lifestyle. Striving for a certain amount of disposable income based on a consensus or recommendation seems strange.

Magicbabywaves · 02/05/2020 07:37

Always a farm shop!

MulberryPeony · 02/05/2020 07:48

Lol me and DH always laugh at the farm shop. We would be in the rich category on this show and use Tesco like most people do.

You are not alone in thinking this series seems different with the ‘gurus’ promoting their work. I was impressed with the ex arms dads shopping on a budget though. He thought purely in terms of pence per calorie.

Potterspotter · 02/05/2020 07:54

The flabby stat annoy me - the rich are supposed to be top 10 percent income wise and mostly they seem to be the top 1/2 a percent. They feature people who've got properties worth a million plus who've had that level of high income for many years - so you're often seeing the lifetime effects of accumulated high income rather than what earning in the top 10 percent is going to do for you in a shorter time window. It makes it less accessible. The same applies to the poor side - it'd be a more fascinating programme if they talked to people about their financial history, good and bad choices they thought they'd made.

It's similarly vague the other side - the family who had £45 per week were feeding their kids cereal for dinner, the family who had £180 per week were clearly in a different position.

The other thing you see is how much better being poor rurally/outside of the SE/London is compared to London in terms of living accommodation, safety of outside area, availability of green space etc.

It's a useful programme to watch with kids for educational purposes.

Orangecake123 · 02/05/2020 07:56

I don't think having 80-200 a week spare is my definition of poor after everything else has been paid for.

Potterspotter · 02/05/2020 07:58

another thing I'd like to see is find out what the rich family typically spend their disposable income on - they go into that a little bit for some big ticket items but not in detail, the impression is that this money gets spent on goods and services every week but I bet that isn't the case for all families.

It'd be great if you had a more detailed breakdown to compare where the money went for the swap week and for a typical week per family.

BentBastard · 02/05/2020 08:05

Does the show only talk about weekly disposable income amounts or does it talk about gross salary/income?

Ponoka7 · 02/05/2020 08:08

The poor families used to be a lot poorer in older shows. I can remember the show were the father was sobbing because he had enough money to buy his son new football boots. Previously they were hand me downs. Another were the son was amazed because he was bought his own laptop for college, out of the weekly disposable income. They couldn't afford it even as a Christmas present.

Some of the rich people genuinely don't have a clue what a poor life can be like. I liked the one were they had always wondered why estates showed old furniture dumped in gardens. Then they realised that it would take half of their food budget to get it removed. So between six of them they sawed up a couch and carried it to the tip.

The disposable income doesn't include school fees. I don't think you could set what a good amount of disposable income is, because some people wouldn't make do with what others are happy with, holiday/eating out budgets etc.

Ponoka7 · 02/05/2020 08:10

BentBastard, no it doesn't talk about gross, but does vaguely give the job title.

x2boys · 02/05/2020 08:11

Well do think the producers of these types of shows are a bit economical with the truth,I was watching rich kids go skint,and and the rich kid went to a family of three living in a council house in Bolton now I live in a council house I Bolton so I know how much their rent would be and council tax , the show made out the family were living on just he Dad,s mimimum wage earnings and had to pay everything out of it ,no mention of tax credits ( which they should have been entitled too) child benefit and possibly
a bit of housing benefit. which would boost their income up by a quite a bit ,ok they still would,nt have been rolling in it but they would have been a bit more comfortable than the show made out.

Xenia · 02/05/2020 08:18

I have seen quite a few episodes of this and it is gently and nicely done. They usually pick poor families where people work for example whereas the "poverty porn/benefits porn" type shows don't and both families are usually pretty nice. Sometimes the rich ones are not really that rich at all but I suppose they are in contrast and in one series I watched the biggest difference was the rich ones did not have children until their 30s and husband wife both had careers and the poor ones the mother was either single parent and/or they had their children very young and did not have qualifications.

I agree it is a little formulaic eg every episode the poor couple go to a posh restaurant yet not all rich couples do. I just about hardly ever eat out even out of lock down although I sometimes do. In fact one reason some are rich is because they don't eat out and don't spend large amounts on clothes.

Also they always come up with some huge amount to give to the poor in cash that the rich couple has in spare cash as it the rich couple would then spent it. You get rich by NOT spending it.

The show does not show their gross income. I tends to be something like a bunch of cash handed out to spend and the rich couple will be given £75.50 for the week's food and spending and the poor couple will be given £1800.

I am probably in the fairly well off category and the sorts of things I spend on over the years have been full time childcare for babies, school fees, university fees (currently - so no student loans for children), mortgage (at one point it was £90k a year! after my divorce and in times of higher interest rates), holidays- sometimes up to £20k a year as there are a lot of us - 5 children; and most of all savings. Eg I have been helping each child buy a first property and currently any spare money goes into that "fund" (and of course about half that comes in goes into an account just for HMRC for income tax, NI and VAT which I just pay twice a year/quarterly so all has to be set aside ready for that). At one stage both the girls had a horse kept on full livery and did show jumping which was very expensive at the time. Lots of much richer people than I am will also have lots of money put into investments, pension funds etc too.

Anyway I like the show and will look it up again. I has its formula which seems to work but I would like them to talk about some additional issues sometimes.

Each week the amount the rich family spend on activities for children and house cleaners coming into the house I've seen too in the show and sometimes what the woman spends on her hair each week etc. We used to have a full time daily nanny (as have 5 children and we both worked full time), someone each morning to do the washing, ironring, put clothes away, clean for the 7 of us and she put the supermarket delivery of food away each week, after I divorced I had a gardener for a time once a week but actually we both like gardening so mostly have done it ourselves. We also had someone on Saturday and Sunday mornings when we worked to look after the toddler twins at one point - nice sixth form girls. At another stage with 3 children under 10 in the 1990s we had someone at weekends to drive the 3 children to parties - they tended to have at least one each every weekend often 04 minutes drive away as they were in 3 separate private schools...sorry I am just going on a bit - i was just remembering what a fair bit of money was spent on (and let us not forget my divorce - most expensive thing ever and husband got well over half, my life savings etc etc)

ChicChicChicChiclana · 02/05/2020 08:21

God! Who would want £40 lip fillers injected by a student? .

I've only ever seen one episode of this - doesn't it get repetitive as a binge watch?

cjpark · 02/05/2020 08:23

The 'rich' family always does their weekly shop at the local organic, GM free farm shop, spend £80 odd quid on a piece of meat and total around £300. Does this really happen? Do people really do this even if loaded? weird.

KitKat1985 · 02/05/2020 08:25

The rich obviously have it easier. The show likes to sell the idea that "Mrs Rich works hard and misses out on a lot of family time" but in my experience in most 'poor' houses in the UK where the main earner is in a low income job (e.g, retail or caring) they are having to work long hours too and take on extra shifts / overtime just to get by. You miss out on just as much family time if you are working 50 hours a week in a shop as if you work 50 hours a week in a luxury office. And I bet in the rich houses they don't have to spend time at home doing cleaning etc because they probably pay someone else to do it, so they can actually enjoy their time off more.

Also the 'disposable income' thing in that show confuses me. I think in most rich families even if you had £1000 a week to spare after bills, you would probably be saving a chunk of it rather than spending every penny of that every week, so I doubt the rich families are living quite such a nice day to day lifestyle as the shows makes out.

LipsyGirl · 02/05/2020 08:27

Haha - they must all be told to go to a posh farm shop Grin

TerrapinStation · 02/05/2020 08:30

Does the show only talk about weekly disposable income amounts or does it talk about gross salary/income?

It's a relatively lighthearted show based on the premise that one family earns way more than the other, not a financial analysis, I wouldn't set much store by the actual amounts of money involved.

I agree that this series has a different feel - what was the point of two almost identical episodes with life coach type men and ridiculous farm shops?

Xenia · 02/05/2020 08:31

KitKat, yes, we have always saved and saved since I started work in 1984 (or at least in the years when there was any spare money). I suppose we cannot generalise - some people look rich in life, huge house and car but everything is on tick and they could go under at any point. Others own everything outright and save carefully.

cjpark, some may do that although £80 on a bit of meat sounds a lot.

It is interesting to have insight into other people's lives but I agree with ChicChic it can get a bit formulaic. In fact I would rather they came off script more. Eg i watched one recently where the man was a motivational speaker. i think he lived with a newish girl friend who was blonde with blonde children and he was Asian (I think) and I was wanting to know if he had left his first wife for her, was he really rich or just wanting to promote his business etc etc but we just got the usual formula for the show. I suppose I could look up his business if I were that interested.

Toomanycats99 · 02/05/2020 08:38

I guess as time goes on and more people see it they want to join it for very specific reasons.

I remember one episode in a previous series where the mum could not take the children to school as they could not afford an electric wheelchair. The rich family bought one for them.

That to me was lovely as they really thought about something that would make a massive difference to their quality of life.

Rich family this week buying a pile of new clothes for the other children I felt less comfortable with.

I did see some of a related series a month or so ago - rich holiday poor holiday. Same formula but with holidays. One episode the poor family went to France. Granted it was an enormous chateau type place very fancy etc but surely deep down they must have been a bit gutted it wasn't somewhere a little more exotic!

MulberryPeony · 02/05/2020 09:50

I didn’t like the holiday one either.

Connie222 · 02/05/2020 10:02

I think I should go on the show.

After all bills, rent and food (very strict food budget) we have £150 per MONTH left for anything else, entertainment, haircuts, clothes, kids activities. We don’t do much.

£80 a week disposable income would be heaven.

cornersteps · 02/05/2020 10:13

I have watched 3 episodes of this show but the 'disposable' income was before food. One family had about £50 a week to feed a family of 4 Sad

For drama the poor family usually shop in the local spar with its inflated prices, rather than taking advantage of cheaper supermarket food.

BarbaraofSeville · 02/05/2020 10:24

I don't think having 80-200 a week spare is my definition of poor after everything else has been paid for

Everything else hasn't been paid for. It's after housing and bills like electricity but before food and travel. What I don't know is if annual and irregular expenses have been accounted for before we get to the 'disposable income' and that's a biggy.

Which pot does a broken washing machine, Christmas, school uniforms, insurance, car repairs, prescriptions, travel to medical appointments, the odd couple of quid here and there for X, Y, Z days at school etc etc etc come out of?

If it's to come out of the 'disposable' income then a lot of that isn't really optional and that's where a tight budget causes many people to struggle. It might look like they have £200 pw for food and a few other bits, but over time, the 'few other bits' cost quite a lot, leaving not quite enough left for food and nothing at all left for anything nice.

TheGreatWave · 02/05/2020 10:32

Sometimes the rich family would do something nice for the poor family but it was by no means expected and it felt more genuine.

Yes there was an episode well back where they left the Mum a scooter (possibly the sofa/tip people) it was acknowledged that it was "against the rules" but it was such a lovely gesture. In a flash back episode it had made such a difference to the family.

For drama the poor family usually shop in the local spar with its inflated prices, rather than taking advantage of cheaper supermarket food.

A recent one was local to me, the 'poor' family went shopping at Spar, there isn't even a Spar in the town, they would have to have been driven to it. There is a perfectly good Tesco and Aldi in the town as well as a cheap freezer shop. There is even a little Sainsbury's over the way from where they were - still not the cheapest, but cheaper than Spar and a better range.

thecatsthecats · 02/05/2020 10:34

This taps into a pet hate of mine for including food, fuel and other essentials in disposable income.

We have always put an allowance for ALL essentials into our bills account and paid for them from there. My planning spreadsheet from when I was on a very low wage had default amounts for food shops, travel etc as assumptions.

Our disposable income is just that - the money that has no calls upon it whatsoever.

Can't for the life of me see why people don't treat food as a bill (yes, it changes a bit but it's easy enough to average it).

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