To ask why I self sabotage in this way?

[Toomuchtooyoung01]

Currently in an utterly miserable relationship.
Thinking back on previous relationships/dates right the way from my teenage years to adulthood, I see the same pattern.
If a boy or man ever treated me well or seemed keen, I was almost repulsed. I would either turn them down outright or, now to my regret and embarrassment, would give them the run around untio they got fed up(more so when I was alot younger).

Anyone who ever treated me badly, and I mean incredibly badly, I couldnt do enough for. The typical they say jump and I ask how high scenario. I have forgiven treatment that nobody should put up with, over and over again. I have felt embarrassed at acknowledging poor treatment so have pretended its not happening.
Why do i do this?

Until about 10 years ago I could have written your post. I'm in a happy relationship now with someone who treats me well. But I wouldn't have looked at him twice before. In fact I gave him the run around in our teens.

Perhaps you should have a look at the Freedom Program? I'm sorry I don't know how to do a link. But if you google it you'll see it.

Good Luck and hope you find a good man.

Because you have poor self esteem and believe you don’t deserve a genuinely nice partner. You sound like me 25 years ago, loved a bad boy who treated me like shit, took the crumbs. Then I met my now DH who is the nicest person ever. He really fought to keep me despite my shitty behaviour. I made him really prove himself. I’m very fortunate that he didn’t believe I was a bad person. Do you think you don’t deserve a lovely person to love you?