Driving fear - AIBU?

[Undergrad20]

Bit of background - I passed my test a while ago but have only recently bought a car. I was really confident in my driving lessons and never dealt with driving related anxiety.

The other day I went out somewhere (in a big city!!!). I ended up getting lost and sheer panic set in. I started to do roundabouts wrong, stalling etc and was just generally making potentially dangerous mistakes (I ended up on the bloody m1!!!!). In the end my partner had to come and rescue me. I just feel completely defeated by driving and have lost all my confidence. I feel like I want to give up and even looking at my car makes me feel ill. I know driving in a big city is hard and different to a small town you know very well (where I learnt to drive) but how do i get over this fear? Am I just a bad driver? AIBU? 😢

No you're not a bad driver but you need to start small. Drive around the local area. get used to roundabouts (!) and only then try driving in a big city. I passed my test in 1990 and I wouldn't be keen on driving in a big city if I didn't know my way round. People can be very impatient which doesn't help - and at the moment they are driving far too fast because there's less traffic on the road.

Generally speaking they give you no space if you find yourself in the wrong lane (though to be fair I can also be impatient when the lanes are signposted two miles out and they still decide to change lane at the last minute - however, that's on motorways, not in urban areas).

As for getting lost, what is the worst that can happen? You turn round and go back. I've occasionally got lost and I've occasionally been forced to stay in the wrong lane by Mr or Mrs Impatient - I just carry on and find somewhere to turn round or I find a new route (and I don't tend to use satnav, but most people do, so that gives you more security as it will recalculate your route if you go wrong).

The main thing is don't worry. The worst that is probably going to happen is that someone will beep you. So what.

No, you just need practise. Difficult at the moment but if you can try and go out locally just for 20 mins, practising gear changes, maneuveres, Roundabouts etc so that all that becomes 2nd nature. Then when you are driving in an unfamiliar area you don't have to think about the driving, just the lanes, signs etc. Google maps is a very good satnav and tells you which turnings to take, lane to be in etc. Don't forget, barring motorways, if you think you've gone wrong or you're starting to panic just pull into any side road where it's safe to stop and give yourself a minute. Doesn't matter if you have to then turn round.

Get some green Ps on your car, they really helped me and put a map in your car.

I was terrified when I first started to go out on my own. I once drove 32 miles with the same song on repeat, I was concentrating so hard, I hadn't even noticed! But the only way to gain confidence is to keep doing it.

Start small, with journeys you know, plan your journey, think about the roundabouts and junctions on the way. Give other drivers lots of notice of what you intend to do.

Even now, if I come across a roundabout I'm unsure of, has lots of lanes etc. (in an area I don't know), sometimes I will drive all the way around first (in the right lane) so I can check out which exit and lane I need to be in.

It will get better with practice.

Honestly, I used to drive around at 4 o'clock in the morning just to practice without much traffic being around!