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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not to say 'good morning' ?

92 replies

MissMich · 01/05/2020 10:07

I have been on furlough since the beginning of April. It utter shit... maybe the first week was 'fun' but I would rather be working. Whoever thinks that being furloughed is on holiday can come and swap with me as I have been loosing my marbles the last 2 weeks...
Anyway my question is regarding to my whatsapp group chat at work. Smallish company, only 15-19 people so there is a group chat for us all. Yay, great or well is it?! A bit of back info, I'm very very new to the company, started in February so haven't even had a chance to meet many of my colleagues in person ( company is split between 4 locations)... since the lockdown we have been keeping in touch on whatsapp. Some of my colleagues are still working - lucky ducks... and there is - well I believe - a few of us who don't ... but every single morning everyone says ' morning ' good morning ' hello' ☀️🌈☀️🌈☀️☀️🌈☀️☀️☀️' morning ' hi' and it's driving me nuts. Turned off the notifications but still look obviously when I open whatsapp. I say send a morning in every now and then however I can't help it but cringe at this... I want to work, I want to be busy and productive and do my best at work however I can't ... I also am fairly new so in need of help and some training (no training packages available to do unfortunately while on furlough) so I feel very distant, left out, useless and worry if I will have a job to go back to...
But the good morning messages, every single morning .... why?

OP posts:
beachysandy81 · 01/05/2020 10:53

Everyone where I work is working from home and we have an email group for our department where we just chat to each other like we would if we were in the office together.

I think it is kind that they have included everyone in it, just say hello occasionally and then ignore it. It would be far worse if you were excluded. I do know what you mean though as it is awkward as you haven't met everyone but hopefully you will be back working with them soon.

Livelovebehappy · 01/05/2020 11:01

You don’t have to do anything you dislike doing. It might exclude you more though from the group by not doing so. Some people are really struggling with this situation at the moment, and even a brief check in with colleagues can help make people feel less anxious. But you should just do what you feel comfortable doing, and take the possible consequences.

WhereYouLeftIt · 01/05/2020 11:02

"But the good morning messages, every single morning .... why?"

  1. To encourage a sense of part-of-the-team
  2. To reassure everyone else in the group you're still OK
Oakmaiden · 01/05/2020 11:04

I guess you could look at it as the only part of your job you have to do at the moment - engage once in the morning with you colleagues and say Hi.

I am in an extremely irritating WhatsApp group with about 60-70 members where the group owner posts something like "Have just tweeted x, could everyone put it on their feeds and make sure the message gets out and then pretty much everyone else on the group posts and says "Yes, I've done it". Aaaaargh! Ping, ping, ping. I don't want to mute it because some of the stuff that comes in is time sensitive and important, but the constant "Yeah, I've done it, I've done it, look at me!" sycophantic brown nosing really fucks me off.

And breathe.

pussycatinboots · 01/05/2020 11:05

You could break with tradition and do it after 12.00 with an Afternoon instead Grin

TheOrigBrave · 01/05/2020 11:06

Are you sure every single person is saying good morning, I mean do you actually count them? If they are, then I guess you will just have to join in because not doing so will make you stand out.

Do you actually need to read the work chat at all? If you on furlough then surely there is no expectation to, is there? What if you're just not on WhatsApp for a few days.

It would piss me off too, just pointless really.

cstaff · 01/05/2020 11:07

I think it is just their way of checking in and letting everyone know that they are at their desk and ready to go as no-one can see them obviously.

ConstantlySeekingHappiness · 01/05/2020 11:08

It take seconds to write good morning on Whatsapp.

Not really the point, it’s bloody tedious.

And I disagree that it encourages being part of a team.

And I agree with the other PP - no one is actually engaging with each other by doing it.

TooTrueToBeGood · 01/05/2020 11:12

however please understand that doing something like this won't encourage unity

Very possibly true. However, you being the only, or one of the few, who don't join in risks marking you out as being antisocial and not a team player. Not really where you want to be, especially as you re very new to the organisation and haven't had a chance to build relationships.

Just suck it up and play the game. Why risk alienating yourself for the sake of a few seconds each morning?

scarbados · 01/05/2020 11:12

How long would it take to say hello once to the group?

I totally understand why they're doing it. It's for the same reason as my husband who's been furloughed from the start wears his work uniform every weekday. It's keeping in touch with some shred of normality and god knows we need that now.

emmathedilemma · 01/05/2020 11:12

People are being friendly and supportive and maybe concerned about each other's wellbeing. YABVU.

Fairyliz · 01/05/2020 11:13

What you are being paid 80% of your salary and all you have to do is spend 10 seconds typing good morning? Think this will be the best paid job you ever have.

formerbabe · 01/05/2020 11:15

I'd find it pointless but I'd go along with. You're new to the company and on furlough...I'd be wanting to show myself as part of the team and joining in with the group chat if it was me.

Lllot5 · 01/05/2020 11:17

Oh @Fairyliz you beat me to it.

Bringringbring12 · 01/05/2020 11:17

You must have had no more than days with this tram before you were furloughed.

They presumably are a close and friendly team.

You could see that as a positive thing. Or you could whinge about it being annoying. You’ve chosen the latter

redcarbluecar · 01/05/2020 11:25

It sounds like you're feeling (understandably) frustrated about not being able to get your teeth into the new job or get to know your colleagues properly, and that the relentless 'good mornings' intensify that a bit. I don't think there's much you can do about it, but you're not obliged to join in and it sounds like you've made a good move in muting the notifications. Hope things get better for you soon.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 01/05/2020 11:28

People can’t win can they. On the one hand someone is moaning oh poor little me nobody checks in says hi, I haven’t spoke to another human poor me and then on the other of some does check in, say hi they are bastards and should leave you alone.

The world is in the middle of a massive crisis and people are just being friendly op

Saying more is hardly “sucking it up” it takes seconds out of your boring furloughed day

MrsCipo · 01/05/2020 11:29

God - I'm amazed at how many people think this is a positive thing Shock Sounds utterly pointless and tedious. Yes, continue to engage with your team and find ways to cheer up those who need it. But to mindlessly post a greeting but without any form of engagement? I don't see how that it doing anyone any good (particularly the dullards posting rainbows and sunshine Hmm )

TeacupDrama · 01/05/2020 11:29

if you are furloughed on 80% you aren't working at all not even from home so that is not what OP is talking about. she is working from home and there is a group chat whats app to keep them connected but OP finds it a bit much cringey to say even good morning
when my DD logs on to googleclassroom she types good morning Mrs XYZ and she types back hello good to see you or something similar

MaggieAndHopey · 01/05/2020 11:30

just... mute the group? I don't get the big deal.

TheOrigBrave · 01/05/2020 11:33

OP, are there other things going on at home which are making you feel so shit. Who else is in your home? How are you spending your days?

It might help people understand why this is so hard for you if you tell us a bit more.

Haffdonga · 01/05/2020 11:40

I can understand how annoying it is. I'm in 3 similar work groups and now we've all started saying good morning we cant stop without looking like a non team player.

BUT as a new member of staff who is furloughed I'd say it's the best and only way you can show that you you are engaged and still want the job when things get back to 'normal'. It's so easy to be out of sight out of mind in this situation. As a furloughed newby you are very much at risk if they do need to trim staff numbers in the future, so I'd be doing everything you can to continue to act as part of the team. Grin and bear it - smile, wave, send rainbows and laugh at pictures of cats on laptops. Remind them you are one of them. It doesn't hurt.

Samtsirch · 01/05/2020 11:42

You might feel worse if you were excluded from the group and no one sent you a « good morning «
I would just do a quick reply and then forget it, it’s well intentioned.

MaliceOrgan · 01/05/2020 11:42

You say you feel left out and distant yet when they try to include everyone you refuse to join in. You can't have it both ways.

If you want the team to support and help you then you probably need to engage with them. It's hardly 'sucking it up' to just join in. Why not contribute by saying you are finding it hard and people can share their Furlough coping strategies. Let them get to know you and start an actual conversation instead of getting pissed of with them for wanting to check in with each other

PuppyMonkey · 01/05/2020 11:45

Surprised at the responses here. I’m with you OP, I find this incredibly pointless and a bit weird.Confused

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