I've just been watching Normal a People on BBC3. No spoilers here, I promise.
I have a bit of a tear in my eye because Marianne reminds me so much myself at that age. It also brings to mind a 'situationship' I was in like her and Connell. It was a love really, a love that never happened.
I met Dan on my first day of uni and instantly there was an attraction and flirtation between us. However, we never made it past a kiss (which we did quite a few times over the year that followed). We would flirt with each other relentlessly but then go home with others. It was all a bit screwed up. He always had a pretty girl after him but there was something between us that sparked. We had this connection. I could read his mind and I could sense when he was going to turn up. It was like we were linked some how.
I was a bit of a train wreck in my younger years. I was bullied a bit at school and my first years at uni were very hard. I had no confidence. Dan was one of the most handsome boys in my class. I couldn't believe he could possibly like me. Looking back, it is obvious that he did. In fact he tried to tell me on a number of occasions but I cut him off. But I was totally in love with him. Besotted. No one came close, even now. I know my confidence was to blame but I also think he maybe thought he could do better. He sometimes would get off with other prettier girls in front of me.
We eventually lost contact. Later, I met my now husband. My husband is a great man and I love him dearly. But I do think often about my unresolved, lost love that never happened. I think about what my life would have been like if I'd had the confidence to tell him how I felt.
I still spy on him on Facebook sometimes. He's married a to a girl who oddly looks a bit like me (albeit younger). They live in Canada and have kids the same age as mine.
Maybe I would never have had the confidence to be with him. Maybe I'd always have felt insecure? I was so young and it saddens me that I will never know.
That's my story. Tell me yours.