To ask who signed the extension of mat leave and why?

[Tjsmumma]

Self explanatory really..

If you signed it why? Why do you feel you and entitled to more time paid? Do you think being in lockdown is more of a right to more time of PAID than people who have babies who are delivered early or need NICU stays?

I am myself on maternity with a 19 week old and i still do not think its fair to say 'i need more time off paid because i wasnt able to go to a mother and baby group' theres plenty of time to go after.

I can sort of understand if you are due to go back and cant find child care but surely you can be furloughed or claim SSP/Benefits during this time like the rest of the country?

I haven’t, I don’t agree.

@MintyMabel oh it's not us...it's "" that took me back. We used to say that a lot!

We are on CP watch status at the moment. Twin one had the toughest ride - grade 3/4 IVH - his follow up mri was more positive than his ultrasounds had shown but we are still at risk and have been told if we end up with some mild weakness on his left hand side (opposite side to the bleed) that would be a success. So our future is a little uncertain but we don't really think too far ahead anymore. All are happy, all are well and if we do need support down the road - then it is there and as you say free at the point of need.

Anyway - it's been nice to speak to a fellow preemie mama but my bed is calling - hopefully a restful night after a week of teething! Take care and keep well!

@T0rt0ise completely agree!! Not campaigning for the extra either but maternity leave while DH and DC1 is at home is not the picnic people here are making it out to be.
I'm currently trying to handle helping DC1 with schoolwork and the constant "mum mum" that comes along with him being home, whilst trying to keep things quiet enough for DH to work (it's not a mansion where we can send him off to a separate wing), a little baby that may or may not have some kind of milk intolerance or reflux or hell knows what because I can't actually see a HV to get any answers and going round in circles trying to keep the house clean and everyone fed!! It's like Groundhog Day and genuinely feel like my head is ready to explode at times!

@Tjsmumma understand where you're coming from but with respect, mothers having extra time off with their babies does not affect covid patients dying alone. The 2 are not connected.

There's a lot of 'your feelings don't matter, because you could be dying of covid.' Yes we could all die of it, but if not, I'd like some extra 'normal' time with my baby if possible. To be honest, I'll be likely working from home in the future so will see her anyway so it's not a big deal. Not sure why everyone is getting so irate about mothers wanting some extra time with our babies. We aren't saying other people's problems aren't valid!

I had no idea there was a petition for this and I’m not fussed by it as I am fortunate enough to be able to take the full 12 months

However I do not agree with the PPs that we on maternity leave now have it easier. My partner is not at home, he is still working

Therefore I am completely overwhelmed at home on my own, excluding the few hours we have together in the evening.

I’ve been diagnosed with PND and fully believe this would not be the case if we were not all in this awful situation.

All the information I have been provided by HV and GP puts emphasis on having physical support from friends and family. So it’s a good job I have tablets to take I guess 🤷‍♀️

The only thing we can appreciate is the 1:1 focus and joy on soaking up every minute of baby goodness.

I have no children so I'll get no benefit. But I signed as I know having a newborn is a very difficult time. We have a whole bunch of new parents going through the most difficult time in their lives while simultaneously the pandemic has stripped away their support networks.

I think new mothers would greatly benefit from having a bit of breathing space once this is all over to introduce their child to their family and have a bit of "normality" before being thrust back into the workplace and forced to juggle work and child-raising together.

I fear for the mental health of these women and if a few extra months can help them transition between our current conditions and going back to work then it's very much worth while doing.

@twins2019

We knew by 12 months that it was likely given her lack of gross motor skills. Sounds like even if it’s there, it isn’t going to slow him down! It isn’t always the disaster you may think it is.

Nice to speak to you too.

Everyone's lives are not going as planned right now. Weddings, funerals, planned operations, holidays, exams, study, jobs, businesses.... all either cancelled or extremely disrupted. Maternity leave is actually one of the least disrupted aspects of life right now.

What makes maternity leave so special that women on maternity leave should be uniquely compensated for their time not going as planned? Yes, this situation is shit, but it's shit for everyone. Looking after a baby or recovering from birth will be tough right now, yes, but women on maternity leave aren't really suffering a special deprivation that no one else is.

I think the whole petition is just absurd.

And I fully support the campaign for extra leave for parents of premature neonates btw. That is a specific circumstance which justifies additional leave being given to those parents.

@Sleepyquest gwt where you are coming from also, but, how does covid really interrupt maternity for the vast majority? Yes MH and PND is rife, but, it is with a new baby anyway? I say this after having a case fo it before covid. Being a new mum is a lonely time full stop. Like PP have stated the whole of the country is on stand still ML is the least disrupted of them all.

My commeng was in regards to needing more quality time together, what about people dying they surely would of liked more quality family time, theres been children taken to hospital alone/to then die alone. Its not about other mums wanting more time, its about them thinking they need more than others and are hard done by, by it and they are the only ones affected by it which isnt the case at all.

@Rainbowchampagne sorry to hear you are struggling and DP is still working, but, this would be the case without covid, surely? So, would you then claim you are entitled to more time off due to him working without covid? I struggled with PND before covid and my DP at work. PND will hit at any time and is shit. Dont get me wrong but a lot of parents suffer with it on a normal daily basis. Yes, covid makes it a lot harder to see people but, thats the same sith MH in all aspects not just becoming a parent. What abojt doctors and nurses? Their MH is through the roof, they are still working and coming home to families. But you are totally right, take this time to soak uo DC. I hope you recover soon.

@aLilNonnyMouse those people are still there just not physically no one has taken phones or laptops away as such. Its a difficult time for everyone, yes new mums are more vulnerable to MH issues. I really hope you signed the petition for NNICU families to have the same rights then. A lot of newn others will have the time, months in fact. Some only just starting ML. So are they not allowed the extra 3 months? Only people due to go back? Where do you limit or cut it off?

@receptaclefortherespectable totally agree, in that thinkimg everyone should get A's on their exams, weddings paid for, holidays paid for etc..

@Tjsmumma nope not at all, I don’t see why I should be entitled to anymore time off. As I said, I’m already fortunate enough to take the whole 12 months off

My point want to other previous posters who have either said or alluded to people on maternity leave have it easier now. Yes my partner would have been at work Covid or no Covid but my mother in law would have popped in to help do some washing on a Monday and make me some lunch etc if necessary. My own mum would have spent a lot of time with me as she is retired. My friends would have come over and held baby while I shower etc but none of that is possible now. I just have to focus on what I do have

Thank you for your kind words 😊

If they add something about allowing fathers extra months of paternity leave to support their partners and share the pain of newborn time.. I may sign it.
But no, that wont happen, men will still be expected to carry on as normal after two weeks, all the while getting no sleep an being moand at and berated by grumpy post pregnancy women.

....

Its grabby and ridiculous. I'm embarrassed for them.

I can only think its a few new parents whom the reality of actual parenting hasn't dawned on yet.

I feel for people in your position @GrumpyHoonMain and there should definitely be something in place for families in your position. I don’t think that it should be linked to mat leave though, more an extension of dependency leave for when you’re due to go back to work. If it was specifically for parents to support their babies through medical issues that would definitely have taken place during these months of lockdown then it couldn’t be abused by people simply wanting to go to baby groups. Your situation should not be grouped in with those who want chance to go to groups, it is entirely different.

Saying that, there are going to be so many people suffering because they needed to socialise and form bonds with others. Getting out and meeting other parents is actually really important, there should be a change in provisions provided such as more on a weekend. I’ve always said this though, it’s never seemed fair that going to work full time meant an end to socialising with other new parents.

a lot of 'your feelings don't matter, because you could be dying of covid.' Yes we could all die of it, but if not, I'd like some extra 'normal' time with my baby if possible. To be honest, I'll be likely working from home in the future so will see her anyway so it's not a big deal. Not sure why everyone is getting so irate about mothers wanting some extra time with our babies. We aren't saying other people's problems aren't valid!

You do understand that we are ALL being completely inconvenienced (an understatement) by this pandemic to limit virus spread and keep people alive. I would imagine every single one of us contextualizes this on the basis that we are lucky we or our loved ones are not the unfortunate ones dying of it.

I would imagine every single person in The world wants some normal time, we aren’t getting it any time soon. What makes you so special? Please explain why you consider this to be a good use of finite tax payer resources heading into the financial shit storm of a global recession?

You’re problems are trivial and not a good use of state funds. Why is that hard to understand?

Plato I stayed up too late trying to get this answer from a lot of people on the House of Commons Facebook post about this last night, with no success. It seems I'm a horrible person for not just scrolling by and for daring to argue against it. I got asked "What's it to you if this happens or not?" three times. I despair.

I still can't see an argument for extra maternity leave.

'Pnd might go up' yes it may do. And that need to dealt with individually. So employers need to look at whether people are well enough to be in work. As they should anyway. Thats not extra maternity leave. Thats unpaid leave of sick leave.

'I want normal time with my baby' no one knows when or if normal will happen. Iys likely 18 months away. 3 extra months maternity leave, does help. Even with 3 extra months, it will have passed that stage.

'It will give them time to learn to juggle work and the baby' no it won't. You will learn that when you do it.

I fear for the mental health of these women and if a few extra months can help them transition between our current conditions and going back to work then it's very much worth while doing.

Why do you fear for their mental health more than the parents, who had kids in school. Then told their kids couldn't go and had to juggle work and child with 3 days notice.

Or the parents that just go back to work in normal conditions.

Or parents trying to juggle making a living and schooling their kids?

If you are maternity leave, you have months to get used to the idea

We all want normal time. All of us. We arent going to get it.

Peolle aren't getting the maternity leave they had planned. My kids aren't getting the education that was planned. I didnt plan on doing the work for my whole team. I didnt plan not being able to see my parents or best friend. I have ptsd. I didnt plan on being cut off from all my real life support whilst working harder than I ever have. I am not getting the summer I planned with my kids. Dp didn't plan on being made redundant and taking over the majority of my childcare so I could continue working.

Maybe we all need 3 extra months off? No one has a new normal. Most of us are having to get used to it whilst doing it. Thats just how it is.

Not sure why everyone is getting so irate about mothers wanting some extra time with our babies

Why aren't you getting time with your baby now?

What is it about the pandemic that means you need extra time with your baby, at the end of maternity leave? When its likely we won't be back to normal.

Or do you mean, you support it because you just want a longer mat leave? And would have supported this at anytime? You just think mat leave should be longer in general?

I have not signed it (nearly 6 month old baby here). Yes I'm sad about what my mat leave has become. I had just started to attend baby classes which was hugely beneficial for my mental health, and now (like everyone else) I'm trapped in the house with my baby and my mental health has suffered horribly. However, although my mat leave isn't what I pictured it to be, I have accepted it for what it is. My husband is working from home so I have another adult to speak to at lunchtime and he gets to see much more of his son.

Overall it sucks and does seem unfair, but we are safe and healthy and luckily our finances haven't been affected. I will be returning to work earlier than planned as this mat leave isn't panning out how I thought, but I've accepted that and am trying to move on. The government has much more important things to be worrying about. But I think that mothers should be allowed to say they're sad about it.

"What's it to you if this happens or not?" three times. I despair.

Facepalm.

To be fair, my brain went to shit when I had my first baby too!

@Shitsgettingcrazy could not of put it better myself!!!!

I did read the thread on the commons Facebook page, what a load of self centred crap. Also, I am surprised at all of the scientists, members of parliament and epidemiologists who appear to be on maternity leave at the moment, seen as though they appear to know that magically covid will have dissapeared by the time their leave finishes. Maybe if they got back to work sooner we could get out of lockdown. None of them acknowledge that they are lucky to have stable jobs to go back to interestingly, if they were laid off then they could have lots of time with their babies though I suppose.

Entitled attitude by a spoilt generation. I had my kids when all were were entitled was 16 weeks in total, only 6 at 90% pay. Also no free childcare, so when I had the second, I had to look after my 3yo. It was normality and we coped just fine.

It was a good move to extend maternity leave, but as always, some always want more, and more and more...

@dontdisturbmenow that's how i feek about it. Always someone wanting more. How can we even guarantee its goinf to be over by the time some of these women come off Mat leave? It could go on for over a year, so they want all that time paid then an extra 3 months for being hard done by?? Then they will complain after that taxes, nursery fees, houses etc have all gone up..