AIBU to need 5 mins on my own?

[Fueledwithfairydustandgin]

DS is 6 and is incredibly clingy. I don’t know how to help him overcome it or maybe it’s me that’s expecting too much from him.
I think lockdown has heightened an existing problem. I’m an introvert and work alone. I am not able to work so have DS 4 days a week on my own, the other 3 DH is able to help.
He just follows me everywhere and continually checks up on me. If I leave the room he comes. I want to try and help him get better at being able to spend a bit of time alone but whatever I try seems to be a disaster.
This morning I thought a treasure hunt in the garden would be a lovely idea. I made clues he could read himself. I asked him to stay in the kitchen while I went out and laid out the clues and he lost his mind. We couldn’t do it because he couldn’t be separated from me long enough for me to lay out the clues. It’s making me feel so frustrated and overwhelmed. The only positive is he will happily do all his school work because we are sitting next to each other, although this also worries me because how will he cope when he goes back to school?

It sounds like separation anxiety. Would you consider webcam counselling for him? this counselor works with children from age 6 and helps them through things like separation anxiety. It is £40 per each 50 minute weekday session, however if this is not affordable then she holds one reduced price session each week, so you could contact her about that. My ds had a similar thing when he was younger and it does get so frustrating, but counselling did help sort it out (the other thing that helped was time, however the current situation can't be helping matters)

all the best x

I think all of us parents feel this way atm. If you have a dh then why can’t he give you a break? I’m alone with 4 so no break here but I imagine many are in the same boat.

@sleepismysuperpower1Thanks I’ll definitely look into that.
@PumpkinP he is amazing when he’s here but he works in incredibly long days 4 days a week at the minute so I’m on my own on those days. Even DH is finding it overwhelming. Definitely less than I do because he’s way more sociable than I am.
I’m just worried. We have lots of outdoor space and while I’m doing jobs I suggested he ride his bike or scooter or play with the dogs but he said “no, I’ll just watch you” and just hovered right next to me talking continuously. I tried to ignore him thinking he may get bored then decide to play a game but he didn’t.

If it were me I'd probably start very small and work your way up to big gaps.

I'd start by saying something along the lines of '1 sec, I just need to check something, you wait here' whilst he's entertained doing something. I would say it as I was moving to leave the room, just so it doesn't give him too much chance to react. That way you'll have returned before he has a chance to worry. You'd want to leave his eyesight for literally 1 second but come back with big smiles "Hey buddy, how's _

I know. It’s just wearing me down. I just want to not be tripping over him all day

I just want to not be tripping over him all day

I totally get that, and I think it'll actually be really beneficial for both of you to build his confidence in being away from you.

Good luck with everything. I honestly do believe you would be able to see a difference in as little as an hour based on the method I described though.

Also, I'd recommend the book 'Don't shoot the dog'. It's marketed as an animal training book but it's a really good book that explains training via behaviour modification. It explains all about punishments and rewards and the impact they have. Also, I find the writing style pretty entertaining and she uses all of the techniques with her family (not just for training animals).

Thank you. It makes total sense. I just need to relax and help him work through it properly rather than just getting frustrated