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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To wonder why teachers are not teaching my child?

733 replies

Nickynackienoo · 29/04/2020 10:18

I am a nurse redeployed to itu. Doing 13 hour days and stressed up to the eyeballs at the moment. My children (12 and 8) go to school on my work days and on my days off i keep them at home with me according to the government guidance. As far as I can tell, the teachers at school are just childminding and not teaching anything. How is it that they can have just 4 kids in the school and not manage to get them to do at least some work? How can I possibly do the job of a teacher on my days off? They have send so many links via email that I can’t make sense of, it’s so overly complicated. Surely as key workers they should be doing the job they are being paid to do? I must be missing something, can someone fill me in?

OP posts:
audreyand · 29/04/2020 15:53
Daffodil
Tarantulah · 29/04/2020 15:54

The poor nqt and rqt must be rueing the day.

I don't know, I don't get upset by threads from strangers on the internet. There have been a few comments from parents which have upset me a bit, but they have been addressed and I moved on. It's really odd choosing to come on a forum and personally feeling vindicated by random people making generic and sweeping statements Confused

recrudescence · 29/04/2020 16:05

Mumsnet HQ really need to rein in the teacher bashers.

Never going to happen. Teacher bashing is good for business and, as Justine has told us, MN really needs the £ just now.

GreytExpectations · 29/04/2020 16:05

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HandfulofDust · 29/04/2020 16:09

Stop the moaning about how tired and stressed you are. Nobody is buying your pity "woe is me" act just because you are front line. You chose a job in the medical field. At least you are earning full pay and you have childcare

Said without a trace of irony Grin. Look I support teachers fully. I have never voted for a party with idiots insulting teachers and reducing school funding but comments like the above are just ridiculous and you must know that.

HandfulofDust · 29/04/2020 16:10

@GreytExpectations Just in case you didn't get it. The exact same could be said for every teacher who complains about their working condition 'you chose the job get over it and stop moaning'. I think it's a ridiculous argument used against teachers and it's even more ridiculous argument used towards someone doing at the moment a much more dangerous and taxing job.

TubereuseNordlys · 29/04/2020 16:12

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Tarantulah · 29/04/2020 16:13

@GreytExpectations wow, do you feel better now? There's some nasty replies on here, but it's okay as it wasn't directed at a teacher I suppose.

MyTwoLeftFeet · 29/04/2020 16:17

@GreytExpectations wow you are incredibly offensive and completely irrational. A nurse working long hours in an ICU ward has every right to talk about how tired and stressed she is. Teaching is stressful too but is not as dangerous or as emotionally taxing. Do you act so dismissively to your colleagues when they complain about their work or is that a privilidge reserved only for teachers? I genuinely can't believe you can't see the irony in any of your very vicious comment.

GreytExpectations · 29/04/2020 16:18

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Lostvoiced · 29/04/2020 16:22

"Just childminding"
Way to insult teachers and childminders.

GreytExpectations · 29/04/2020 16:23

A nurse working long hours in an ICU ward has every right to talk about how tired and stressed she is.

Not when used as an excuse to be offensive to teachers and other working parents.

Do you act so dismissively to your colleagues when they complain about their work or is that a privilidge reserved only for teachers?

Of course not. But you have missed my point. People can moan all they like, if OP started a thread just to complain about how hard her job was I'd understand and have been supportive. Same as when people in my life complain. It's the fact OP feels like her complaints entitle her kids to special treatment, and that she thinks it's OK to make assumptions about other working parents who apparently "aren't working" because they aren't nurses Hmm and to insult teacher and then justify that attitude because her job is hard. That's what i have an issue with.

HandfulofDust · 29/04/2020 16:24

@GreytExpectations

Well what's your excuse for the nasty comments you've made? The OP came on asking a question in good faith. It's not unreasonable to assume that the children in school would recieve some teaching and indeed some of them have. I'm sure no reasonable person would object to the children of key workers getting the same advantage my kid gets at home (i.e. help with their home learning). It's a totally reasonable question to ask. When people were upset she aplogised for the offence and very reasonably described the fact that she's stressed. You don't have any such excuse. You've written horrible, unpleasant comments towards the OP and you have absolutely no reason to. Your behaviour has been appalling.

Nighttimefreedom · 29/04/2020 16:26

GreytExpectations She's not asking for proper teaching, she's asking her child to be supported in their home learning. A lot of teachers have said actually that is a reasonable expectation.

LolaSmiles · 29/04/2020 16:28

Regardless of the jobs involved surely there's an obvious difference between:

  1. My job is exhausting and stressful. I'm finding it difficult right now and could do with a supportive chat.

And

  1. I'll have pop at anyone and anything that annoys me and you should accept it because my job is stressful.

Maybe that's just me though

GrumpyHoonMain · 29/04/2020 16:28

@GreytExpectations - your comments have been nasty. The truth is many schools and teachers are teaching and going way over and beyond government advice even with their own children at home. Many schools aren’t even open. The decision not to has been taken locally and there are a lot of teachers at home who want to work and support their students but can’t.

Teateaandmoretea · 29/04/2020 16:29

It’s hard for everyone right now and competitive ‘it’s harder for meeee than you’ helps no one.

Yes it’s unimaginably difficult being an ICU nurse, but it’s also bloody hard being furloughed and worrying for your livelihood and the roof over your head. It’s hard for people wfh full time with kids to ‘homeschool’ who are arguing in the background while you are in meetings. It’s hard for people who are actually sick and their relatives it’s hard for teachers, either those at home doing less than usual feeling they are doing a less good job than they’d like and feeling crap about that or alternatively trying to teach full time using zoom, having to re plan everything on top of normal teaching.

It’s hard for everyone for some reason. Recognising that is much more constructive than piling in on individuals for stuff or posting pointless pictures of daffodils.

So the OP can post and people should cut her some slack, we should be cutting some for everyone.

GreytExpectations · 29/04/2020 16:29

Well what's your excuse for the nasty comments you've made?

Not nasty. Honest. If you don't like what I said that's your issue. I personally don't use the stress if my job to insult other professions.

MyTwoLeftFeet · 29/04/2020 16:30

It's the fact OP feels like her complaints entitle her kids to special treatment,

Why shouldn't she get special treatment for doing a vitally important and dangerous job? My kids gets help with their home learning at home, of course OP's child should get it in school too. No reasonable person would disagree with that. Your whole tone comes across as someone who in fact thinks your profession is so special it is beyond reproach you can insult other professions, write offensive comments towards OP but she can't ask a perfectly reasonable question.

GreytExpectations · 29/04/2020 16:30

*LolaSmiles

Regardless of the jobs involved surely there's an obvious difference between:

  1. My job is exhausting and stressful. I'm finding it difficult right now and could do with a supportive chat.

And

  1. I'll have pop at anyone and anything that annoys me and you should accept it because my job is stressful.

Maybe that's just me though*

This with bells on is the point I'm making. OP didn't ask in good faith, and she also used her stress as an excuse to dismiss anyone who didn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

HandfulofDust · 29/04/2020 16:31

@GreytExpectations You really are very one sided. OP asking a genuine question is an insult to all teachers you saying 'get over it' to an ICU nurse is brave honesty! There are a lot of teachers on this thread who have made sensible reasoned arguments. You come across terribly - luckily you don't represent your profession in general.

Really12345 · 29/04/2020 16:32

Dippy that’s good to hear. I don’t understand why some places seem to get it and others say that no 2m must be maintained at all times. Just picked her up wet and distressed again, she didn’t tell them she wet herself as she knew they would “send me home” and tell her off. It’s really been hard for her.

Thank you for all the constructive childcare suggestions. I think I will go ahead Working from home as it worked ok when we were isolating last week and I just don’t trust childcare provision at the moment and can’t face the fight to get the funding back from her normal nursery school who I don’t want to piss off as she’s there starting real school from September.

These threads about how parents must question teachers and schools or they must hate all teachers have kind of made me scared about the whole system tbh. I was trying to do the right thing and go back too front line healthcare full time in this crisis but dd has just been treated as a inconvenience by the LA and the hub school, always asking if we really need the childcare, refusal to do any kind of educational activity, not being able to have provision for all age children, no feedback or contact details for who is looking after her that day or meals/snacks (she normally gets meals at school and it’s not a money issue for us but I guess it is for some). I guess I should of known it started with an email to parents saying “we are very happy that the vast majority of our parents have managed to make alternative childcare arrangements but for those that haven’t we will meet our obligation to provide childcare of last resort” the whole tone is that they really don’t want to and practically they are treating the children like lepers.

I gather on here that many many schools are doing better and have lovely teachers that care but I’ve been left feeling that no one will care for DD if I don’t and I’m not happy to sacrifice her for the health of other people.

HandfulofDust · 29/04/2020 16:33

@LolaSmiles

I haven't read all 17 pages but where did she have a pop at anyone? It's only @GreytExpectations who's been making really very nasty comments. I might have missed something further up but OP's original question was perfectly sensible.

Nighttimefreedom · 29/04/2020 16:33

@Teateaandmoretea

So the OP can post and people should cut her some slack, we should be cutting some for everyone.

This I agree with this. It's hard, we need to be there for each other.

Unfortunately the thread title was a beacon to teacher bashers, but I believe posted in haste and later apologised for.
Couldn't we all just ignore the nasty people that want to have a go, and the rest of us might get some problem solving done!

GreytExpectations · 29/04/2020 16:34

*It’s hard for everyone for some reason. Recognising that is much more constructive than piling in on individuals for stuff or posting pointless pictures of daffodils.

So the OP can post and people should cut her some slack, we should be cutting some for everyone.*

This is perfect and is really what I wish everyone believed. I have a lot of stress and anxiety right now due to the situation I'm finding myself in but I'm not going to make it all about me and say how hard it is for me dismissing everyone else who is struggling. Wish MN would stop with that nasty attitude and realise nobody is better than anyone else. The OP rattled me because of her entitled attitude, no she should receive better perks because she is an ICU nurse. Because other key workers not on front line aren't getting that

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