I feel like I'm waiting for something bad to happen..

[overweightcat]

I'm probably BU but I feel like this always happens.

We've just gotten into a great routine that works for us this lockdown, we are very lucky in that we are furloughed and comfortable enough after a few cutbacks that we don't have to worry about finances and bills too much and could last a little while in this position.
We have 2 under 5s and have gotten into the swing of homeschooling and keeping them entertained throughout the days. We are extremely lucky to have a bit of a garden in the current situation and DP is even managing to get some DIY done around the house now that he's at home.
We are enjoying spending time together as a family and couple when the DCs are in bed.
We have been able to slow down our lives and spend time with DCs which especially for DP is a rare thing to be able to do in his profession.
I know this isn't the case for everyone during this time and we are one of the lucky families in lots of aspects and I'm feeling so very grateful to be in this position.

But I can't help this thought at the back of my mind that it's all about to go wrong somehow. Like we're either going to get some bad news or something will happen that we have completely not been expecting and it will knock everything for six again. It's making me feel anxious.

I always feel like this when things are going smoothly be it for us as a family or me personally and generally something does happen, and it generally is something I would have never in a million years guessed.

So AIBU and completely bonkers or is this a thing for others too?

Hi OP, I get this feeling a lot when things are going well for me. I have anxiety disorder though. Are you generally an anxious person? I think you're not alone, these are strange times atm.Sending you a virtual hug.

That's anxiety. I have GAD along with depression. I'm finding it difficult keeping it all under control at the moment.

I'm not super anxious.

I do get a bit anxious about how other people see me and how I come across because I have a resting bitch face and when I do talk I put people to sleep. I don't have many friends and I'm at a stage where it's hard to make them.

But this is this different, I will be going on about my day all happy and then my stomach drops and I feel like I'm anticipating and trying to work out what's going to go wrong and burst this bubble we are in.
It puts a dampener on my whole day sometimes and I'm in this weird tense/anticipation state of mind at the back of my head a lot since last week or so.

Maybe it's guilt because you're happy? Just try and be like the kids...happy right now...

We have been bubbling along ok, not great as DH is s/e and no work, but ok. This afternoon I heard a rumour in work that we are about to be asked to take a 20% pay cut...nothing definite but still. And all of a sudden...all that 'we are doing ok aren't we, we are going to be fine if we are careful' has been replaced by 'what if that does happen.....how the fuck will we pay for everything?'. I think it is the general unprecedented uncertainty of just about everything at the minute, in the past you'd have scoffed at just accepting a 20% pay cut without a whimper, and go and get another job instead. Right now if that's what it takes to keep my job I'll do it even though we will struggle. It's a whole new world, and not a nice one. Being anxious is a natural response I reckon even if you are currently 'lucky'.

To be honest I think it would be weird if you didn’t feel like this in the middle of a pandemic! It’s not a normal time for anyone even if you’re in a good position.

Its anxiety OP. They physical effects of it. I only get the physical effects, it's just your body dumping adrenaline into your system for no reason.

I like the bear analogy, it describes it really well

I'll have a look at the bear analogy thanks.

It's a weird time all around, maybe part of it is feeling guilty that we are doing ok when I know there are so many families full of key workers, self employed and so on who are struggling much more right now, it feels wrong that we are actually not having a bad time with this.

I feel like karma will turn around and give us something to struggle with to compensate...