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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sorry for my neighbours?

11 replies

Breckenridged · 28/04/2020 18:06

I feel really sorry for my neighbours at the moment. My kids are 6, 4 and 1 and they just seem SO noisy. The 6 year old is crying a lot because she’s very upset about not being at school and with her friends and little things are setting her off. The 4 year old is a very exuberant child and sings all the time. The 1 year old is at that stage of bumping into everything and getting frustrated by what he can’t do and shouting about it.

They can’t hear us in our house (we are both detached but the gardens back onto each other) so it’s just in the garden, but I’m really conscious of it. I have of course talked to the kids and they come inside but then drift out and it starts again.

The neighbours’ kids are older (tweens I think?) and they never seem to fight or get upset. So AIBU to feel sorry for the neighbours or is this noise quite normal for younger kids at this time?!

I should add that I can’t put my head over the wall to apologise but I could walk round and drop off a note and maybe I should...

OP posts:
Brogley · 28/04/2020 18:29

I'd leave it. They can't hear you from inside the house and when they get too loud in the garden, you bring them in. You're doing what you can and in the current situation people that's enough as its understandable that the children would be more emotional/energetic/noisy than usual.

user12345796 · 28/04/2020 18:38

If your neighbour has older kids she is probably thinking back to when hers were like that and feeling grateful that life is easier now. I know I do when I hear next doors kids and I can say hand on heart that although I can be intolerant of noise the sound of little kids playing and shouting and crying really doesn't get me at all. I just feel pleased that this time it's not me who has to deal with it! You do your best and I wouldn't worry.

Thighmageddon · 28/04/2020 18:44

I wouldn't worry.

I only have one teen left, neighbours whose garden backs on to ours have small children. They are out screeching on the trampoline, in the paddling poor or generally tear arsing around the garden.

I'm mindful that although it can become too much and I come indoors, I once had small children and I have no idea how I'd have coped during this time.

Hopefully yours will think the same.

Original poster
Breckenridged · 28/04/2020 18:48

Oh thank you. I’ve felt really crap for the past couple of days about it all and about how much DD is missing normal life.

OP posts:
Dodie66 · 28/04/2020 18:48

I wouldn’t worry. My kids are grown up now but I love hearing kids out playing. It also reminds me of my kids when they were younger

mbosnz · 28/04/2020 18:52

I went round to my neighbours and dropped off a note, saying the girls were now off school, and DH WFH, so there could be more noise, and would they please let us know if we were causing them annoyance. With a bottle of wine. I think it brought a truckload of tolerance and good will. (I know it did, these lovely people helped look for the cat).

waytheleaveswork · 28/04/2020 18:59

That's really thoughtful of you OP.

If it's any consolation, I live in a terraced house and there are 5 children next door. The Dad is so aggressive and volatile I had to call the police yesterday. Constant screaming and shouting, nothing the police can do due to social distancing. As a result, the children are (understandably) very noisy and upset most of the time and I hear them through the wall.

Your well-cared-for three children are not a problem.

Original poster
Breckenridged · 28/04/2020 19:13

mbosnz That’s lovely and a genius idea. Oddly enough we don’t know these people at all as they live on a completely different street which feels quite far away (rabbit warren type neighbourhood) and our next door neighbours’ garden is on the other side of their house so not attached to ours..but we know them and get on very well.

waytheleaveswork Oh that’s awful Sad

OP posts:
OldBean2 · 28/04/2020 19:25

Our neighbours let rip on Saturday, teenage sons and dad, lots of shouting, swearing, door slamming and throwing stuff. I closed the window.

Why? Well granny has Huntingdon's, so none of them have been out... that's six people plus granny. The youngest wants to be a tear away but dad cuffs him into line. I think they have been an amazing family to rub along so well most of the time and so caring to really isolate like they have done. So if the lid lifts off occasionally, I can live with that.

badlydrawncat · 28/04/2020 19:34

Our next door neighbours have 3 under 5s. We are in our late 50s and don't have any children. We've told our neighbours that on no account should they worry about any noise. They have enough on their plate without worrying about us as well.

SunnyStroll · 28/04/2020 19:35

I thank my lucky stars several times everyday that this didn't happen when mine were young.

If I was your neighbour, whilst it may occasionally be annoying, I would have nothing but sympathy for you.

Plus I bet it's not as loud from over the fence as you think it is.

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