DP dragging his heels over house

[Wiggles28]

DP owns a house with his ex. They broke up years ago but it was convenient for him to live there alone for a while.

They managed to sell it earlier this year. He currently lives with me, as old house is quite far away. He currently pays a low amount towards bills on the condition that when the house sale goes through this will increase. Prior to this I had a lodger.

In the current climate I expected him to be pushing the sale through ASAP. Buyers have had mortgage offer etc so no reason why they can’t exchange. Except DP is being so slow to send back paperwork. He needs to respond to easy enquiries and just is dragging his heels over it saying he doesn’t have time to reply. We’re both WFH currently he is downstairs watching tv on his lunch break!

I’m really pissed off because I’m losing out on income. If the sale doesn’t complete it will be so hard to find a buyer and that means we can’t move on with our lives as he’s tied to his ex. They stand to make a fair whack on the house at the current agreed price and I doubt they’ll be in this position again for a while if it doesn’t happen.

He thinks I’m being too pushy nagging him to respond to his solicitor. All he needs to do is send 1 email! AIBU?

I don’t think he’s a cocklodger, he does a lot around the house and pays his fair share of shopping etc. Just so laid back about it I feel like he doesn’t fully grasp what will happen if it falls through.

Yeah he's enjoying living on the cheap with you too much.

"There’s so much money tied up in the house. I just don’t understand why he Is so blasé about it"

well maybe he hasn't discussed with you, exactly what split of the proceeds has been agreed with his EX. Maybe they haven't agreed it yet , are still wrangling over it , and he (or she) is delaying the sale because of it. All that is their private business.

Just ask him to pay more towards bills, starting right away.

Ok I’ve just asked him if we can talk later and I’ll say that I need him to pay more from next month

Remind him that it's 1st May on Friday
Don't back down

Ultimatum time I'm afraid.
He either sorts out the house sale and fast, or he can go back to that house.
Or... he pays a proper share of living in your property.
I would not be subisiding his living when he could have a load of money from a house sale and he's dragging is heels!
Fuck that OP.
Stop letting him take the piss!

THIS...

But he is in HER house and she is funding that and losing money herself.
Why should she do that?
OP is getting nothing out of this so far other than losing money to this guy who can't write one fucking email!!

He's blase OP because he's in no rush while you are subbing all this!!
Time to stop.
He can move out and you get yourself another lodger.

and THIS.. both spot on...

OP you are subsiding Him and gaining no benefit from the situation.

He IS a cocklodger, since he knows he's actively costing you income from your lodger and doesn't seem to feel the need to pay up.

I'd be telling him to move back to his own house if he's against selling it. He cant live at yours on the cheap and keep his ex in the background. That is just leading her on too really, she will think he is dragging his heels because he doesn't want to let her go. He needs to either cut her out or go back, but she wants him, he can't do halfway.

Good luck with that talk. I hope he doesn't disappoint you!

They’ve got a deed of trust to decide who gets what from the sale. Honestly he’s been very open about it all, showing me the emails etc. No reason not to trust him. It’s just that it’s going on and on and if it wasn’t for the current economic climate I would leave him to it. But he doesn’t seem to appreciate how lucky he is to still have a buyer and why he should act quickly! I’ve sold a few houses he hasn’t ever sold before. Not sure he’s got into the groove of it

If you think he’s just one of those easy going types, then maybe speak to him and tell him it’s stressing you out and so please can he just get on with it.

Give him the firm talk.

Ask him WHY he's dragging his heals. Tell him YOU have had enough if him refusing to crack on with this & if he wants to go back to her he should fuck off, if he wants a future with you he needs to get that email sent & stop fucking you around. Because he is, he's costing you money & pissing about with your future!

Ok I went downstairs and the email was being written. Fingers crossed.