So my nearly 9yo has been an anxious child, nail biting, clingy, my shadow for many years. He is the middle child, his 11yo brother has high functioning autism and adhd and went through a very difficult phase last year - he became volatile and violent at home and ran away from home and school many times and harmed himself. All of this had a huge impact on middle child's sense of self esteem and confidence and resilience in general, we had regular crying at school gates, saying he had tummy aches, headaches etc basically I think he wanted reassurance and one to one time with me, which was difficult with the oldest being challenging and a demanding toddler in the mix!
He also had a teacher last year who shouted a lot and some disruptive children in class, and experienced some bullying, mostly name calling not physical but obviously still affected him. This year his teacher has been lovely and he's also had some play/Lego therapy at school with his brother to help rebuild their relationship and had some time with the school's therapy dog - all good. He also has a very good friend who lives locally and they often have play dates - before lockdown. He also has good relationships with both sets of grandparents who we saw frequently- again before lockdown!
Now he is really struggling at the moment, he is missing family and friends, we FaceTime regularly but of course it's not the same. He has been tearful a lot. Dad is working from home at mo so we are all here every day and we have been doing the online learning. He is struggling with this a lot and seems to be behind with school work - spelling and handwriting is poor, he struggles with maths and is pretty lazy when it comes to doing the work so I feel like I'm nagging him a lot and pushing him to work harder but I'm just trying to keep him up with the work so he's not even further behind when they go back. We've been doing the joe wicks most days and also spent time in garden, go for family walks/run around local field. I've done some art/craft with him, baking, science experiments etc played some games on Nintendo with him but he's having a lot of screen time and watching a lot of rubbish on YouTube. He loved Lego, would build that for hours, he used to love reading and drawing but he just seems depressed at mo doesn't want to do anything like that anymore all he wants to do is watch you tube. He keeps saying everyone hates him eg when we take the screen time away and force him to do something else or when I'm nagging about school work. He is becoming a real eeyore and pessimist.
How do I build his resilience and self esteem etc he sees through OTT praise etc. Are there any useful apps/books or techniques I can do with him during lockdown?
Sorry it's so long. Thanks in advance!