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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it just me?

53 replies

sobeyondthehills · 27/04/2020 23:59

To start this off, I don't think I am an addict, however if the temptation is there I will take it, the best way to describe it, is an addictive personallity, I understand that I am too easily led, so I don't do it. This includes drinking, smoking and gambling, drinking and smoking I have had a problem with and beaten.

About a year ago I joined a bingo site, a bit of fun, won close to £100, then lost it, then lost another £40, about 2 weeks ago I went back on and lost another £40. I know I am talking small amounts but to be honest that £40 would be alot to us, but it came out of my survey money (I do a shit ton of surveys and most of the money goes into my paypal)

Since then I have been getting 3 or 4 texts a day plus 2-3 emails I have done the whole stop getting these messages and emails but they are still coming. As it stands I have 64 unread texts from Friday and 62 of those are from this bingo site.

I have spoken to my partner and explained that I am started to feel the urge to get it back. IE I lost the £40 but I am sure I can get it back, and he is being really supportive but it is fair that they keep sending me these messages? Is anyone else getting this level of shit?

OP posts:
Original poster
sobeyondthehills · 28/04/2020 02:19

You are a gambler

You know what if it means getting help with stopping these spams, I am happy to say that I am.

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 28/04/2020 02:27

You're welcome, glad I could help.

Just slightly confused as to why people think its helpful to point out the bleeding obvious. You are aware of your addictive tendancies and are addressing that.

And anyone who has ever bought a lottery ticket or stuck £1 each way on the Grand National is a gambler..... so the point is?!

Theflushedzebra · 28/04/2020 02:34

Good for you OP - if you can block them and beat them, good for you - just stay away from these sites. It's amazing but they didn't ruin my brothers life forever - he has a new partner, a house, a good job and a young daughter now. But only because he doesn't go on those sites anymore.

Stay strong - the house always wins - so you won't - stay strong Thanks

springydaff · 28/04/2020 02:35

In my personal experience of addiction, I'm up for any addiction. As someone said its like wack-a-mole: knock one down and another pops up. So you're sensible to recognise the signs very early on.

Most of us have a primary addiction but the whole troupe can snag us if we're not careful. I think you know that which is why you put the brakes on - and you are also aware of the familiar feelings of temptation.

You're probably as much of a gambler as I am - but I've not tested it because I know I'd fall almost straight away.

Are you in recovery eg AA (as alcohol appears to be your primary addiction)? I'd recommend it to keep your abstinence, all of it, fresh. It's day at a time stuff.

Original poster
sobeyondthehills · 28/04/2020 02:36

Just been trying it, I can't seem to do it on this particular site, but will get my partner to double check me in the morning.

There seems to be a very shit way of deregsitering, which involves phoning and such like, but its late and I might not be seeing the obvious

People like to be right, I guess. I thank to whoever I haven't gone down that rabbit hole but if people want to call me a gambler, if it helps me stop them contacting me I am happy to be so

OP posts:
Theflushedzebra · 28/04/2020 02:36

*My brother has this because my Dad bailed him out...god knows what would've happened if we hadn't had a dad with the means to bail him out. And give him a good talking to.

Original poster
sobeyondthehills · 28/04/2020 02:41

@Theflushedzebra my problem is I am smart enough to think I can beat the house but dumb enough not to realise I can't, which is why I try not to touch it. I went on it because I was bored and they have really ramped up the advertising

@springydaff my addictions come hand in hand with my mental health, once I got help for my mental health, I started to get a hand on my addictions, I have a group I can rely on if I start to slip, but its not AA but similar

OP posts:
Theflushedzebra · 28/04/2020 02:42

And for your own mental health - don't think of it as an addiction on the same lines as alcoholism - think of it as a scam.

Think of it as a Nigerian Prince emailing you telling you they have $5M just waiting and if you send then £1,000 dollars it can be released to you...

Theflushedzebra · 28/04/2020 02:48

You know you'll never get that $5m.

Think of it as those Microsoft scammers who tell you you have a virus, and to download this file and they'll sort it for you... would you fall for that well known scam?

Then don't fall for the gambling websites scam - they always win. You're just the sucker playing. It's a rigged game.

Original poster
sobeyondthehills · 28/04/2020 02:54

@Theflushedzebra

That is exactly the point, I wouldn't fall for it, but the bingo I do every time, which is why I try not to go for it, I was very stupid 2 weeks ago to try again.

But now the amount of emails and texts I am getting is like the Prince is just refusing to take no for an answer

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 28/04/2020 03:38

I also have an addictive personality, so I steer totally clear of gambling. I've also managed to give up the drink but am a slave to tobacco.

Dontjumptoconclusions · 28/04/2020 04:11

Block them but if they come through, just get a née email address and don't look back.

These companies are vultures and don't care about you.

I'll never forget a documentary I watched showing people who's jobs it was to view the level of gambling each player was doing, and if they stopped or reduced plat, their job was to call them and offer them free credit and discounts to lure them back in. This went for online casinos, bingo, racing etc. There are people out there who's job it is to not make you quit, the same people sending these emails, no they don't care that you have unsubscribed.

Look after yourself op.

Dontjumptoconclusions · 28/04/2020 04:11

*play

Original poster
sobeyondthehills · 28/04/2020 04:55

@Coyoacan I gave up nicotine in all its forms 7 years ago (so no tablets, patches etc)

My neighbour smokes and I am honestly thinking of finding a way to rob him of his fags.

I would say smoking is the one that stays with you, you can beat the others and limit your contact but smoking you can't do jack shit about other people doing

@Dontjumptoconclusions I dont think I should get a new email address, I have done everything from my point of view of stopping the emails and texts, but its looking more likely that is what I am going to have to do, but I don't see why I should, because its not just email its texts as well, so should I change my number as well? When does it stop?

OP posts:
springydaff · 28/04/2020 10:42

Blimey, you have a very strong will. Why cold turkey with the fags?

Addiction is stronger though. This is the baffling aspect of addiction.

springydaff · 28/04/2020 10:43

It's interesting how you start your op with "I'm not an addict". I think you are love xx

TheGreatWave · 28/04/2020 10:55

OP well done for trying to face this at an early stage, I am not sure why some posters feel the need to put the boot in.

Firstly register at gamstop.co.uk this will at least prevent you having access to sites.

Also look at gamcare.org.uk for further advice, they have a helpline number 08088020133

Good luck

TheGreatWave · 28/04/2020 10:57

www.gamstop.co.uk

www.gamcare.org.uk

DollyDoneMore · 28/04/2020 11:25

You sound pretty sensible. You understand that you have an addictive personality so you are trying to keep yourself free from temptation. This is good.

But...

I lost the £40 but I am sure I can get it back

Noooooo! If everybody who lost money on the gambling sites could get it back just by playing again, the gambling sites would go bust very quickly. It’s almost impossible to win back your losses by gambling. Don’t try.

ImFreeToDoWhatIWant · 28/04/2020 11:37

I don't think you have done everything you can to stop them. Have you actually blocked each email address as it comes in? Have you forwarded each text to your mobile providers spam reporting number and them blocked the number, each time a text comes in? No?

You're an addict who has realised you're in trouble and is trying to do something about it. But you're still an addict. And your posts show a certain level of denial and excuses. Take decisive action now OP, so that you don't face a potential rock bottom in the future.

waterlego · 28/04/2020 12:23

OP, I sympathise. I have never gambled, not even the lottery but have been addicted to numerous other things so I have to be very careful in life to avoid various slippery slopes!

It sounds as though you are very aware of your problem and you’re acting early to address it, which is brilliant. Can you block the numbers the texts come from?

Hoggleludo · 28/04/2020 12:27

Report them. This is illegal. They CANNOT continue to send you emails when you've unsubscribes

ButtWormHole · 28/04/2020 12:31

You need to report them to the gambling commission if they continue to hassle you.

Well done for recognising it’s the start of something that could be a problem

ErickBroch · 28/04/2020 12:34

There are charities to help with this and a PP has linked to them. Good luck

Original poster
sobeyondthehills · 28/04/2020 12:42

@springydaff I went cold turkey after I figured out I had been on the tablets for (I think 6 months) along with still smoking

Have you actually blocked each email address as it comes in? I have to say no I haven't blocked the email addresses as it stands because I thought once I have unsubscribed that would be the end, plus the normal it takes 24 hours, so gave it a wee bit longer, but I am going to start doing that now.

Will have a look at the links thank you and also reported to the commision this morning, but not sure if anything will happen with that at the minute

OP posts:
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