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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you died tomorrow, what would your greatest achievements be, and what would you have missed out on?

67 replies

AbsentmindedWoman · 27/04/2020 21:07

Feeling pensive and maudlin and curious.

I can't even name any stupendous achievements of my own Hmm

I've missed out on having children due to health problems and it does make me quite sad at times. My career hasn't taken off (yet) and always hoped i'd loads of time but if covid takes me out then I'll never get there! It's made me think about how quickly time goes.

What about you?

OP posts:
Flowersmakemyday · 27/04/2020 22:13

I'm two weeks off finishing my Degree, I was 53 when I started it and I've learnt so much about myself whilst I've been doing it over the last 4 years. I would be very sad to die without becoming a grandmother. I have three daughters and they are all currently busy with their careers.

Dontlikeoranges · 27/04/2020 22:24

Raising my children into fine people.
Competing internationally in a martial art.
Running numerous ultramarathons.

I wish I'd had the money to take my kids on holiday more to experience things but always been pretty poor but it's not that big a deal as I think they had a decent upbringing and I did it all on my own as their dad left when eldest was 4

chockaholic72 · 27/04/2020 22:24

Most proud - caring for a terminally ill mum when I was 23; it was the making of me.

Regrets - not meeting anyone special and having kids, not having a gap year as I was looking after my mum and then life got in the way, and I regret that my mum never got to see how I turned out - when she died I was a part time checkout girl (fitted in with caring responsibilities) - now I’m a civil servant with a house, I cycle long distances just for fun, and I have an allotment, which she would have just loved.

I’m now 47. I will have that gap year.

lljkk · 27/04/2020 22:30

I can't do this thread coz I'm bored by my failings & unconvinced by my achievements.

Doihavetogotoworkdotcom1 · 27/04/2020 22:48

I don’t think it’s an achievement as such but the most precious part of my life is definitely having my DD.
I’ve perhaps missed out on things socially because I can be shy around certain people, not a regret as such because it’s just the way I am.

AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff · 27/04/2020 22:56

Having helped my battered rescue dog learn to love and feel happy and secure.

I’ve missed out on what may have been a lovely relationship because I was battle weary.

Clambulance · 27/04/2020 22:58

Greatest achievement - giving my children the love that I never had from my own mum.

Missed out on - having the relationship with my dad that I should have had, were it not for my mum.

Apirateslifeforme · 27/04/2020 23:03

My greatest achievement, I would lead with breaking the cycle of abuse that seemed to flow through generations either side of my family. I have a daughter who is twelve years of age, and is the complete opposite of the child I was at that age. I am certain that she will have happiness and the ability to carry herself with ease in the way I can ever only hope to. I am in awe of her, and I can only hope that life doesnt harden her beautiful gentle nature.

Another thing I am incredibly proud of, and that many people dont know, is that I attended school so little as a child, I couldn't write my own name until I was 8 years old, and by the time year 9 had finished I stopped attending school completely. No one around me knows that I have the education of a 13 year old, except the key elements of training I put myself through in order to do my job.
Last year i was part of the management team on an £8million project. It is my biggest achievement that is solely mine. I was the only manager on our team with 15 years less experience than the others, but I was a valued member of the team. It helped my confidence massively.

If I died tonight, I'd have missed out on truly being happy. I'm having therapy, I'm having an operation that will change my life. I am hopeful that I will be able to enjoy life soon. I hope that I reach that point

BackforGood · 27/04/2020 23:04

Raising my children to be good, hardworking, successful young adults with a good moral compass would be my proudest achievement - although it’s a shared outcome

Yup. Same here.
What I'd miss out on is all that is hopefully to come - 2 of their graduations, all of their weddings (maybe) all of any possible future Grandchildren. But also the plans dh and I have to travel the World a bit more now we can afford it. I did some travelling in my youth, but it was before we met, and dh has done a lot with work but doesn't get that much time to see places, and we couldn't afford it when the dc were young, so it is in our 'future plans' to travel all over. Smile

Serin · 27/04/2020 23:25

Most proud of:
24 years of happy marriage.

3 kind adult DC who love each other.

Never had a parking fine or speeding.

I can identify all the British birds by sight (and most of them by their call).

What would I miss?

Everything.

Poetryinaction · 27/04/2020 23:38

My life ambitions have been achieved -to have children and learn to speak foreign languages. I am also proud of my good degree from a good university, running a couple of half marathons, and learning to drive. I have lived in a few different countries and fundraised for a few charities.
But I feel I have wasted my talents and gone for a safe career which I find boring and stressful. I wish I had done a Masters degree and got a more interesting job. And I would like to be more adventurous, and take the kids abroad to live.
I hope I get to be a really good grandmother, and put family first.

TooTrueToBeGood · 27/04/2020 23:45

Greatest achievement - my family.
Missed out on - starting my career earlier. I bounced around a variety of mediocre jobs until I finally got my finger out in my late 20s and set myself on the path to a decent career. That said, if I could change the past it might change the present and I am very happy with my life.

Jasmin82 · 28/04/2020 02:55

My greatest achievement would probably be publishing a book.
The biggest thing (for me) that I'd miss out on is going back to university to finish my degree.

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 28/04/2020 03:04

People are so hard on themselves....💐

I have wasted some of my talents through lots of what ifs. But I have achieved a lot. I have recovered from anxiety which I suffered from as a student many years ago. I look back now and think how brave I was. Yes, I have a great degree and have been relatively successful but am now retraining.

I have three beautiful children who I am bringing up with compassion and kindness.

I have so much more I want to do.

FinnsLeftSpoon · 28/04/2020 04:02

Greatest achievement: happy emotionally healthy grownup DCs.
Being a mentor and possibly a role model in a career I took up because there didn't seem to be anything else I could do

Missed out on: the career I always wanted
Love
Friendship

Feeling I belonged somewhere
Peace of mind

averytiredmom · 28/04/2020 04:07

My greatest achievements would be my 3 children and overcoming so many hurdles with them.

My regret would be I didn’t travel enough

sashh · 28/04/2020 04:15

Achievements - when a 17 year old in a GCSE maths resit class said, "Oh I understand that, I never understood it at school".

I've done other things but that moment when the penny drops, particularly for one who has struggled with school is the best feeling.

I missed out on the equator.

I need to explain that, I spent a week in Eccuador, I forgot to go to the equator and only realised in the cab to the airport.

redcarbluecar · 28/04/2020 04:54

Ah, this is a good 4 a.m. question! If I died tomorrow I suppose my achievement would be the people (hopefully there would be SOME!) who remembered me with warmth and as someone who affected their lives positively.
If I knew in advance that I was going to die, and had time for reflection, I’d remember a happy career and some good friendships.

Fromthebirdsnest · 28/04/2020 07:28

My greatest achievements are my beautiful children, my marriage has always been happy , I have a beautiful home and wonderful friends and family , I have a very happy life ! X however I do plan to travel more when the children are older so that would be a regret I supposed , however I have a lovely and fortunate life and I wouldn't change a thing x

thecatsthecats · 28/04/2020 07:45

Eesh, if I died today, it would be a project I ran for my company.

We're a non-profit, and after winning a government contract, we developed a new system for service users in our sector. It's used by over 10k practitioners on around 60k service users a year. Though it's not used nationwide, it's the only time someone has successfully designed and implemented such a service, and it's very well rated by the practitioners, both for ease of use by them, and for improving outcomes for service users.

But in a couple of weeks, I hope to usurp that by completing my first book fully. I actually wrote it in just 43 days, back in 2016, and have written 4 more in the series since, but by mid May, I aim to have it completely and officially edited and perfect.

I've missed out on travelling. Ok, I actually have done quite a lot, but I feel it's come quite late in my youth, and I wish I'd started my career later, if only by a year, to spend time around the world.

Grobagsforever · 28/04/2020 07:59

Achievement - Not losing the plot when DH died, was 36 weeks pregnant with second child. Every doctor etc was desperate to prescribe drugs so I avoided PND/breakdown but I got myself through it including the hell of an extremely painful breastfeeding experience (took weeks for DD2's feeds to stop being agony). Kept my job and gave the DD's a secure life.

Miss - seeing the kids grow up and also getting my time when they leave home!

BikeRunSki · 28/04/2020 08:02

I might be remembered for my Apple crumble. I’d like to see my DC as adults.

SkippyDies · 28/04/2020 08:04

Hardly any regrets. I’m (almost) half way through doing a masters and will be very disappointed if I don’t finish it. To be honest it’s knowing the regret I would feel if I gave up or failed now that’s keeping me on doing the damned thing.
I’ve got a wonderful family, career, good friends, have travelled and lived abroad and have a small legacy of setting up a successful community group.
I wish I’d spent more time with my dad before he died.
Other than that I would be really really hacked off if I snuffed it before George bloody RR Martin finishes A Sodding Song of Ice and Fire. I need to know if Bran serves any purpose other than being a creepy arsehole.

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 28/04/2020 08:04

Greatest achievement: to have been to some amazing places before having kids. Now, being a mum to my miracle dd. I ha be missed out on a loving relationship despite my efforts and that still makes me sad.

DDIJ · 28/04/2020 08:06

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