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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A post for 'low earners'

106 replies

Maybeimweird · 27/04/2020 19:43

Right so I've just seen the thread asking what people earn and these threads always surprise me at how rich people are and I suppose I do feel abit meh afterwards, I cannot believe how low my household income is comparing to others, feel like I've been living blindly as I thought dh wage was ok. I also read on a thread that the average salary was 35k! Me and dh bring in around 2k a month if that, we were also paying £665 in rent a month. I earn £700 a month it doesn't actually pay me to work, if I stopped working then I could stop having to out my children in a childminders and I would get higher universal credits, doesn't sound great but that's the truth!

So my question is are there any families living on a similar wage and still happy and coping and going on some holidays or should I be feeling deflated? Am I the normal average and sniliar to others? I want to hear positive stories

OP posts:
Mo81 · 28/04/2020 10:01

Ive been at both ends of this argument op i have earned high (pre kids ) and earned low now i have kids and you know what if you are happy who cares what you do or dont have your kids wont always be young and when they grow up then you can think about earning more if you want too

raspberryk · 28/04/2020 10:10

@Dranktoomuchpepsi I'm doing Occupational therapy. I looked into midwifery and wouldn't have been able to do the placement hours or working hours with my kids being so young as I was a lone parent when I first set out to educate myself.

Original poster
Maybeimweird · 28/04/2020 12:16

It's great to hear that there are actually a lot of families without loads of spare money and get by fine or have holidays and treats, I don't know why I question things, maybe it is me feeling inadequate when I see behind closed doors what people actually earn

OP posts:
Fredted8 · 30/04/2020 18:12

@oldlongjohnson £800 in rent is a huge amount

oldlongjohnson · 30/04/2020 18:31

@Fredted8 £850 actually 😭

We live in Bristol. Nice area, 3 bed house.

Darbs76 · 30/04/2020 18:37

It’s difficult as I’ve worked full time most of my life and the kids have gone to childcare - but it’s meant I can get up the ladder a bit more. You can’t have it all, so you have to choose more money and see your kids less or stay as you are. It would be a shame to quit your job and go on universal credit whilst kids in school all day. If you want to don’t that what about going to college and trying to get a better job? There’s always a way out

Fredted8 · 30/04/2020 18:46

@oldlongjohnson ahhh yes I suppose I can see how your rents higher in Bristol... it seems huge I couldn’t part with that amount of money! I pay £400 for a 3 bed town house in Yorkshire.

Darbs76 · 30/04/2020 18:47

Also it’s all relative. I earn a fairly good wage but I’m a single mum and live in Surrey. I can’t afford to buy my own home here, ill eventually have to move back north for that, but not until my children have left school. I have had low paid jobs too, what I’ll say is I sometimes miss the less pressure of those jobs. It’s all relative and it’s also not all it appears. I’m sure you’d think my salary is a lot and I don’t struggle each month but I see my friends in my home town earn considerably less and have their own homes. It’s not always as straight forward as it sounds

Also I don’t think it’s fair to say people show off and exaggerate on threads when people ask how much people earn. Also I don’t think it’s fair to say people are lucky. Most people have studied for many years for higher paid jobs or moved areas (I moved 250yrs age 24 with my young son not knowing a sole for a better paid job). So it’s not always luck but an ambition or drive to want to earn more but also to challenge themselves and have a career they love

Darbs76 · 30/04/2020 18:48

It’s around £1500 a month here for a 3 bed semi to rent in Surrey. Insane.

Fredted8 · 30/04/2020 18:52

It’s a huge amount of money. Obviously I know moving to another town is a major thing leaving schools and friends behind but honestly I hate waste in general. Under no circumstances could I be renting for £1500 a month it’s crazy. I also know if that’s all you know then it’s the norm. Here in the north you would be living in a palace for that price Shock

SoloMummy · 30/04/2020 19:35

Personally, I don't see that ops net household income of 2k plus benefits top up is actually that bad.
And actually think money is one of those things that it's more about what you do with it than have of it.

2k net plus top ups to me as I live frugally, is sufficient for family holidays abroad, presents etc. However, I don't spend on alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, eating out extensively nor sky TV etc or flash gadgets....
I am however, experience rich and into memory building.

boylovesmeerkats · 30/04/2020 20:29

Don't forget that average wages are often for full time jobs. Part time wages are mostly minimum wage with a small number being over £20k and a tiny number more than £30k. I'm about to go full time but I wouldn't work full time for less than £30k a year but that was my salary before kids. I'm happy with after-school club though, it's great where I am and a no brainer. Every family is different.

I'm sneaking on this post because it sounds more interesting than the boasty ones. I grew up with no money around on fsm for some of it but we had a really happy family life and I'm glad I can manage money. My DH on the other hand, his parents said they had no money but they have a shedload, he earns a good wage because of his qualifications but there is no way I could have got his salary from my background. Privilege is a very real thing.

I'm always amazed at how many city banks and Whitehall departments mumsnetters work for!

Theukisgreatt · 30/04/2020 20:50

It's not true that you cant live in the South affordably. I live an hour from London and my mortgage is cheap. My house IS small, but there are only two of us. Lots of my friends live in much bigger houses and complain about the mortgage. I live in quite an affluent town, there are plenty of much cheaper areas too.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 30/04/2020 20:58

I only get carers allowance. I can’t work as my son has school trauma so I home ed. We earn just over threshold for a family with one child so can’t claim UC so I earn 67.25 a week. As a household we don’t earn that average wage

PrivateD00r · 30/04/2020 21:13

At the end of the day, everyone makes choices. Yours is to work part time which is great but means you cannot expect to earn a FT wage.
maybe you will decide to work FT when the DC are older and then your income will obviously increase.

I retrained as a midwife several years ago, involved a college access course and then 3 years at uni. Was full on and tough with young DC but means I am now on a reasonable income. Was a massive upheaval for us all but I have no regrets. Everyone makes their own choices, you are happy with yours, so its all good Smile

FilthyforFirth · 30/04/2020 21:52

As others have mentioned you cant just factor in income, you need to look at outgoings. We earn a medium amount I would say, certainly nowhere near the top end of mn, but what would seem a lot to others.

However, we live in the south east in a 4 bed detached. We have huge bills, and nursery fees. Plus I am pregnant so these will be ongoing for sometime yet.

We do manage to save a bit, but we haven't had a holiday abroad for years (thanks Covid).

I think it boils down to what you prioritise in life. I went back full time after DS, so I certainly dont get to see him as much as you do your DC. Needs must for us sadly, cannot afford the mortgage on one salary.
(Which is a sin in the high flying mners eyes, but perfectly normal in my circle).

Original poster
Maybeimweird · 01/05/2020 06:13

Just read through the added comments. It is all interesting and yes nothing is black and white household financially, different rents, different areas, different outgoings etc. I do agree if I/you want more money it means going full time and seeing the dc less, so it's about the balance and what you choose.

OP posts:
Fredted8 · 01/05/2020 07:18

Very good point about privilege being real. Also a lot of the time your parents having a career is where it all starts having being drummed into you from a child how education in the long term.
Or having a family member that can support & guide these all contribute.

dontdisturbmenow · 01/05/2020 08:14

You're opting to see your children more and that comes at a price.

I opted to work ft, kids in before and after school care, working hard for promotions and seeing them less.

I now earn a good wage but that's because of the choices Ive made. I too would have loved the sane income and lifestyle that came with it and being able to spend more time with my kids. It wasn't possible.

That's life for a large majority of people.

Godzillasonice · 01/05/2020 08:19

Those threads always make me feel bad too. I work in a special school 40 hrs a week and bring home around 950 a month (my wages are split over the year). I'm a single mum of three so I do get some help through tax credits that takes me to around £19000 a year. It's a struggle but I manage. I often think some of the people on those are maybe not telling the whole truth.

Myownwendyhouse · 01/05/2020 09:09

@Godzillasonice. You make a huge difference to so many peoples lives. You do a wonderful and extremely hard job ❤️

Original poster
Maybeimweird · 01/05/2020 10:40

godzillasonice yes well done, to hold down a full time, demanding and tiring job aswel as raise 3 children. Good for you!

OP posts:
Original poster
Maybeimweird · 01/05/2020 10:41

.... And on your own, I'm sure you've done your kids proud!

OP posts:
notanotherpandemic · 01/05/2020 10:45

Our monthly household income is around £4300 and we still live month to month not sure how we don't have spare cash. I suppose if we earned less we probably would be happier and live more simply.

cantory · 01/05/2020 10:47

You are not a low earner and have a much higher household income than most families.
And it is patronising to say if you had less money you would be happier. Please don't patronise us with your poor but happy shtick.