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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Narcissistic friend maybe

4 replies

poppyseedsandlemon · 27/04/2020 14:51

Please be gentle with me I have dyspraxia and have trouble getting our what I need to say.

I have a friend let's call her Mary
Mary has a long history of failed marriages and relationships.
Mary is currently in an on and off relationship with a Dave (not his real name)

Anyway Dave appears to be lovely he has some issues his dad was an alcoholic and so was his mum.
She is now in the late stages of organ failure and he is trying to look after her.
He also has a sister who is terminally ill and he is trying to support her kids as their dad died some years back.

Plus he has his own kids and grandkids he takes care of.

Mary is constantly criticising him for not being around her much.
If he is slow to respond to a text message she freely admits that she will send him nasty essay messages to provoke a response from him.

When the response is not nice she then gets all nasty saying he is being unreasonable.

He is always saying that everything has to be on her terms and that he should be doing x y or z for her.

Yet she cannot recognise that this poor poor man has the world on his shoulder.

He has admitted to her that he needs help and therapy to help him deal with his issues.

Her problem is that he does not apologise to her after she has provoked a negative response from him.

He has told her that he does not want to be with her yet she still pokes.

Dave confided in me that he loves her but she's behaving like a child.

For example because he didn't come running when her cat died which yes is sad but come on!!

This woman is in her 50s!
My aibu is.

Yesterday she called me and said I think Dave is a narcissist!
I told her that I strongly disagree and that if she loves him she needs to decide if she can handle not having all his attention all the time.
She went ballistic with me.
I have no idea what to do if I'm honest I don't want to be her friend anymore.

OP posts:
Lsquiggles · 27/04/2020 14:53

She sounds very childish and her relationship shouldn't be your problem. Don't stay in a friendship you don't want

WhereYouLeftIt · 27/04/2020 16:04

I think I would have stopped being her friend some time ago.

She's certainly self-centred. Dave has quite enough on his plate without her.

user1471590586 · 27/04/2020 16:12

She sounds a lot like my MIL who has Bipolar Disorder.

Mary46 · 27/04/2020 16:16

Nightmare. My mam like this. Click fingers and wants you on demand. They dont change. Just be wary of her.

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