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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think there is a divide forming between furloughed and non furloughed workers

387 replies

FuckingFu · 27/04/2020 14:37

I've heard so many people talking about how they are jealous of their furloughed colleagues. I've a friend who is furious because her company is making up the 20% and so her colleagues are 'sat at home doing nothing' and getting full pay whilst she's still working.

Whilst I do understand the jealousy and even frustration, I really am starting to hate the way it's being spoken about.

There seems to be a lot of talk about 'they'. They are sitting at home doing nothing, we'll be paying higher tax to cover their wages as if furloughed employees are some form sort of seperate, less superior group and a burden on the rest of us.

Personally, whilst I understand those feelings, I have had to say to myself well what would I prefer? I don't want my colleagues, friends and family being made redundant if that can be avoided. And if my company can afford to top up wages to 100% then good, I don't want people suffering financial hardship when it's unnecessary just so I don't have to feel jealous about it.

I want to say to my friend does she not realise that it could have been (and still could be) her being furloughed and not the person at the next desk over. This is something completely out of people's control, no one wants this (perhaps a minority are okay with being furloughed) but certainly no one chose it.

It's as if people think furloughed staff are all lazy bums who want to sit about and have everyone else fork out higher tax to cover them.

I don't want to pay higher tax either but if the alternative is thousands of unnecessary redundancies then what choice do we have.

Just seems to be a very them and us situation going on.

OP posts:
Aocled · 28/04/2020 19:41

So if that makes me stupid then so be it. But I am fucking knackered and my workplace need to throw us a fucking bone.

I was talking about my workplace @greenteamug, not yours. I'm sorry it's so hard for you. My firm have managed furlough well.

Greensmurf1 · 28/04/2020 19:47

Being furloughed is depressing and anxiety inducing. You feel like you are of no value, you are not liked, you are unwanted, your work is poor quality or irrelevant. You feel like you are probably going to be made redundant, but no one is going to want to employ you and hardly anyone is recruiting anyway. You feel like you ought to be training or staying on top of work or job hunting but you are bogged down by homeschooling and chores and feeling overwhelmed and emotional. You feel like years of hard work and loyalty have been swept away. You feel out of the loop and resentful of being shut out. The thought of the end of lockdown is panic inducing because everything will be upended again and it will be another stressful readjustment.

JillBob · 28/04/2020 19:50

Oh @Greensmurf1 I feel awful you feel that way - I feel that way too

RIBlue · 28/04/2020 19:53

I’m wfh, my two housemates are furloughed. They both took it quite personally at the time but with a couple of weeks to adjust have come round to the idea. There’s plenty of ‘have a good day at the office dear’ and ‘well someone has to bring home the bacon’ as I head to the kitchen table but actually they make me coffee and stop the dog crashing my more important calls. In exchange I tell them that they should absolutely not feel like they need to tip toe around to stay out my way and to crack on with their jolly holiday!

EmbarrassedUser · 28/04/2020 19:57

I’m genuinely not jealous at all. So many of those on furlough at the moment will be employees of companies that may well go under. I know i’d be terrified and would rather work. Public sector here so pretty much guaranteed a job for life.

Murfs · 28/04/2020 20:01

@Greensmurf1 I hear ya this is exactly how I feel sorry you feel that way too! I think I might need to stop reading this thread though it's actually making me feel more shit and anxious about a situation I have no control over

Lovely13 · 28/04/2020 20:18

And self employed who earned over £50k last year get nothing.

PerfidiousAlbion · 28/04/2020 20:22

It wouldnt be so bad if the furloughed didnt keep boasting about all their free time on full or 80% pay.

I’m also fed up that every single one of them is flooding Facebook, WhatsApp and Insta, not to mention the fact that theyre all ringing me in the middle of the afternoon when I’m at work, just to gloat.

Some of us are busier than ever so I think we’re justified in feeling a little miffed.

coolcatsandkitten · 28/04/2020 20:25

That’s weird I’ve noticed it the other way with the A Team (those employed still) & the B Team (furloughed).... that’s how it feels anyway Blush

Greensmurf1 · 28/04/2020 21:03

@JillBob @Murfs at least there are people who can relate to these low feelings. It’s hard not to beat up oneself about feeling down. Others will see furlough as a blessing in disguise or an opportunity, but if it is a blessing, it’s certainly a mixed one. I did have a couple of weeks working and homeschooling and managing chores at the start of the pandemic and that was unbelievably stressful too. So, I can imagine those still working are feeling under pressure to perform under difficult circumstances and unfairly carrying burdens and responsibilities.

If people on both sides of the divide can empathise with the other, then conversations between both sides will be supportive and that will help feelings of jealousy and bitterness to fade.

JillBob · 28/04/2020 21:11

@Greensmurf1 I was the same as you. Worked from home for 2 weeks trying to do a full time job and teaching two kids and then suddenly furloughed.

Not going to lie, teaching kids and chores is less stressful without a full time job to boot but then I’ve got the stress (as have others of wondering if I’m needed, when I’ll be needed if ever and how long this will go on for).

Completely agree with you on the empathy. If we all just realise we’re all in a crappy situation one way or another and just support them we’ll be ok. I hate this them and us talk.

I think it’s something ingrained in humans, a very us and them kind of talk.

Rover83 · 28/04/2020 21:24

My DH and I are both keyworkers, our preschool is shut even for key workers and we have no way if getting them to the open nursery 25 mins away as we both work very long shifts. We are desperately trying to care for a 3 and 4 year old whilst still working opposite shifts. We are both jealous of people wfh nevermind those who've been furloughed. It's a shit situation for everyone and I think its OK for people to voice that privately but I dont like the competitive shitness... it's shit for everyone and the grass isnt always greener

rathernotshare · 28/04/2020 21:42

It's frustrating for me as my husband and I work for the same company. He's not furloughed, just 'on call', so he is being paid 100% wages and hasn't been called in once. National defence so jobs are safe(ish). It's hard when I'm working my nuts off with absolutely zero sympathy on deadlines when my team are trying to juggle work and childcare, whereas my husband managed to watch all the Star Wars films over 3 days. And that's just in my house!

Meinmytree · 28/04/2020 22:09

Part of me thinks it would be nice. But I live alone, and having struggled for work for a while 10 years ago I know how hard I'd find it being at home with nothing to do all day - at that point I could go out but had no money, now I have the money but can't go anywhere.

Financially I'd be okay, if I could get a mortgage break as a lot of banks are doing that would be the 20% (I live in one of the most affordable parts of the country for buying a house, so my mortgage isn't a huge chunk of my wage), plus I am saving over £100 in diesel each month.

I'm grateful that Monday to Friday I have something structured, normal (other than I'm working in my spare bedroom rather than in the office with my colleagues), I get the interaction with my colleagues as we're quite a close team, it's not the same via IM and email but it keeps us together. It also means I'm in the loop as to how the company is coping, I guess those on ferlough are sat there not knowing that.

They may be getting 80% for doing nothing, but it's those of us that are still there that will make sure they have a job to come back to.

ladypete · 28/04/2020 22:56

I understand.
I keep thinking that 80% of my wage would be amazing - especially with no travel expenses or socialising! It would mean the same amount of money more or less!

Instead I am self employed and jobless waiting for my grant in June Wink

angelfacecuti75 · 28/04/2020 23:34

MrsTerryPratchett

Everyone is seeing the shit for them and the great for others. If you think about it though:

WFH, lucky people get to keep their job AND spend time with their families.
Furloughed, lucky people get to be paid full wages AND sit on their arse.
Working at work, lucky people get full wages AND get to see other people and get out of the house.

Comparison is the thief of joy. We're all better off than those in ICU.
What she said ^

Bouledeneige · 28/04/2020 23:45

One of my friends who is furloughed on 80% salary has heard that the company are restructuring and roles at her level are being cut by half. As she is a senior manager she is currently earning less than 25% of her usual salary. On a mortgage holiday and worried, in her mid-50s, about her job prospects. Sure she was topping up her tan with her DH last week (he is freelance and work has dried up) but she is extremely nervous about the future.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 28/04/2020 23:51

Half my workplace have been furloughed, and the other half will be furloughed (and is lot back to work, so basically a rotation) in May. Seems a pretty good compromise and stops the serial moaners from having a whinge

Lovebeingmama · 29/04/2020 05:38

I work for the NHS. I’m working long hours right now while my partner looks after my 6 year old while Furloughed . I’m envious of the time my husband gets to spend at home with my son while my job is crazy busy. All of us have different paths to get us through this strange time though. I’m knackered and some days wish I had an easier path but my job needs me.
I’m more cheesed off by those who are using the furlough as a holiday and getting out socialising. I think staying at home is the least they can do really.

Shitsgettingcrazy · 29/04/2020 06:41

Personally, as a non furloughed person, the people who piss me off most are the furloughed people sharing memes saying 'you are being paid to sit on your arse, why can't people just do it' memes. Totally forgetting that lots of us are not just sitting on our arse and a lot of people are having to go out to work. But, the ones I know who do that, are people I know and generally don't really think about stuff before they share or generally have empty for other positions. I can imagine even furloughed staff get annoyed at those memes.

I do think some furloughed people are directing their annoyance in the wrong direction. But that really depends on how the people they know who are furloughed are acting. Of course some non furloughed will just be dicks and it doesn't matter the situation, they will be dicks to furloughed people.

Some furloughed people think that that non furloughed people don't have lots of the same worries. Non furlughed people are also worried about their companies closing, redundancies etc. Again, some furloughed people are dicks and taking the piss out those left working or assuming those not furloughed have safe jobs, so no worries and direct their annoyance at them.

For example, 30% of our work force came back this week. On Friday 4% of those coming back decided to tell us then they were shielding. They didnt tell us before or during furlough as they were instructed to do (shielding people will remain on furlough for as long as the scheme is going, then we will look at paying them to remain shielding if still needed). We needed to know who was shielding, who had symptoms etc so we could plan properly when we came back. Not one of the people who dropped in that they were shielding on Friday had any proof that they actually were. Never mentioned health problems as part of their yearly physical, no shielding letter etc. All those people have been told they need to return.

But it took alot of work between H&s and HR, who are already flat out, to resolve. Plus causing more issues for their own managers and other staff. At a time when people really didn't need piss takers making their jobs harder.

The genuine people who are shielding, have let us know before then. Like the woman on my team who is furloughed but received a letter last week. Just messaged me to tell me and sent photos of the letter. We knew she may get that letter and surprised she hadn't had one already, because she had already told us about her condition.

We also had people tell us their elderly parents had moved in and needed shielding. 2 of these had already had bereavement leave for both parents, in the past 2 years.

Not all furloughed people are angry at their colleagues. And not all furloughed people are concerned about money or want to get back to work and not enjoying it.

Someone on my team wants to be the last to come back. Her and her partner bought a house at the end of last year. Both earning 80% but feel better off, as less out going costs and they are doing all the work done in the house they wanted to do but didn't have much time for. She is also distancing studying so doing that. I have some desperate to come back.

There people on all sides of this. All feel slightly different. I am stressed beyond belief. But I would still rather be working.

Threads like this only increase the divide by declaring that its non furloughed staff that should be grateful and have no worries and and acting unreasonably. And positioning all furloughed staff as people sat at home worrying, wanting to get back and generally suffering.

ittakes2 · 29/04/2020 06:53

When the furlough ends it’s unlikely most businesses will pick up where they left off. Consumers will be trying to keep their savings because they will be unsure of the future. Sadly it’s likely that some furloughed people will be let go. I get that people are jealous but job uncertainty going into a major recession is not great.

cocklepicker · 29/04/2020 08:38

"We also had people tell us their elderly parents had moved in and needed shielding. 2 of these had already had bereavement leave for both parents, in the past 2 years."

That's disgusting. I hope they've been seriously called out on that. I wouldn't have them working for me

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 29/04/2020 08:56

Someone on my team wants to be the last to come back. Her and her partner bought a house at the end of last year. Both earning 80% but feel better off, as less out going costs and they are doing all the work done in the house they wanted to do but didn't have much time for. She is also distancing studying so doing that.

Someone with a brand new mortgage is actually pretty vulnerable to financial shocks. Is this the first recession she's experienced as an adult, as she sounds naive?

I've noticed at my work that there is a big difference in between those of us old enough to have weathered the last recession (or more), and the younger staff. The younger staff seem more naive about what could potentially be around the corner, possibly because they've never been in the position of seeing colleagues be laid off, or being laid off themselves.

I agree with others that this is crap for everyone in different ways. Comparison definitely is the thief of joy. However, if you're totally stacked out at work, it shouldn't be that difficult to stay off social media - problem solved!

Shitsgettingcrazy · 29/04/2020 09:10

Someone with a brand new mortgage is actually pretty vulnerable to financial shocks. Is this the first recession she's experienced as an adult, as she sounds naive?

Potentially. She is also under the impression that she is somewhat indispensable. Which causes issues in work, but that a whole problem.

She does, however, have a partner who comes from a fairly wealthy family, that will help them out.

However, if you're totally stacked out at work, it shouldn't be that difficult to stay off social media - problem solved!

Not sure I agree with this no is working every single waking hour.

I am often working 10-12 hours a day. I often can't sleep. My work also depends on IT working. So right now someone is working to resolve an issue with my laptop. So I have had a scroll of fb and come on here.

I might do tonight when I am relaxing at about 10pm

You can be stacked out and go on social media.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 29/04/2020 09:17

Not sure I agree with this no is working every single waking hour.

I was being tongue in cheek tbh. I'm busy at work but still look at Facebook. Grin

The only difference is that I don't resent anyone from making the most of their time when furloughed. I know that I'm in a fortunate position (fairly secure job, not furloughed, wfh), and appreciate that.