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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell her its not healthy

22 replies

Meatymomma · 27/04/2020 10:04

Someone i know has just posted on social media that her 6 month old weighs 24lbs and the hv has told her he's overfed (she regularly updates with weaning pictures and she does give him a lot, especially in addition to milk) she pooh-poohed the notion and said the HV was being silly and alarmingly so did many of her friends who commented on the post, this is what concerns me, the lack of pooh poohing a professionals concerns believing they know better. AIBU to say something against the grain about it NOT being a healthy weight? Ive been measuring my child in his red book today and i'm prettty sure 24lb at 6 months is off the chart. Someone asked about centiles and she replied that he keeps jumping a line everytime he's weighed.

OP posts:

Oldraver · 27/04/2020 10:06

You may be right but no good will come of you saying anything

MrsMonicaBing · 27/04/2020 10:08

Sorry but it's really not your place to say anything, even if you are right

SnuggyBuggy · 27/04/2020 10:08

What's he eating food wise?

formerbabe · 27/04/2020 10:09

I'd keep my mouth shut but probably think the same as you.

PurpleDaisies · 27/04/2020 10:09

Realistically, what difference do you think it will make?

Khione · 27/04/2020 10:10

You could but it would be pointless - she won't listen to the professionals so why would she hear you.

If it was me though I would, at the very least, unfollow her because it would annoy/upset me every time I read something similar from her.

AnotherMurkyDay · 27/04/2020 10:10

It's fine to move up centiles so long as height is going up at the same rate. 24lbs at 6 months sounds like it would be off the charts though. Pretty sure that's what my very tall children weighed at about 18m

CookieMumsters · 27/04/2020 10:10

I agree with Oldraver - no good will come of it

CardsforKittens · 27/04/2020 10:10

If she doesn’t listen to her health visitor she probably won’t listen to you. How do you imagine she’ll respond?

Original poster

Meatymomma · 27/04/2020 10:14

I guess she might not listen but its disheartening to see all these people surrounding her coddling her on something which could potentially have serious implications for her child further down the line. I just felt that if there was one more voice expressing concern she might think a little more? Maybe not 100% agree with me but at least plant the seed so to speak.

OP posts:

Original poster

Meatymomma · 27/04/2020 10:14

@SnuggyBuggy similar sized portions to what I give my oldest whos 3 x

OP posts:

Pollypocket89 · 27/04/2020 10:15

2 stone at 6 months? Am I reading that right?

Pinkflipflop85 · 27/04/2020 10:16

It won't plant any seeds. If anything the naysayers will just turn on you.

Stay out of it.

Lavenderpurple · 27/04/2020 10:17

Blimey my dd is a month of 2 and weighs 25lbs.

TamingToddler · 27/04/2020 10:20

Blimey! My 2 and a half year old is only 4 and a half lbs heavier than that and he's a big boy! (Healthy height and weight though)

TwinMum89 · 27/04/2020 10:21

I don’t think it is anyone’s place to comment.

My twins are 9 months tomorrow. They are both very tall, taking after their daddy who is 6ft 5. At 6 months my boy was 22lbs and was just under 24lbs at 8 months. He has just started crawling and is not overweight at all.

SnuggyBuggy · 27/04/2020 10:23

I'm surprised a 6 month old would eat all that though. I'd prepare large portions for mine because I knew a lot of it would get lobbed or end up in her hair. Is he also getting large bottles of milk?

Lllot5 · 27/04/2020 10:27

I understand you feel it’s too heavy, but honestly stay out of it, no good will come from you saying it.

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 27/04/2020 10:28

If she’s disregarding the HV why do you think she’d listen to you? One voice expressing concern among the sea of hunz isn’t going to change her mind so just leave her to it. Lots of things other people do are disheartening and even depressing but when it’s completely outside your control it’s best not to waste mental energy worrying about it.

Lolapusht · 27/04/2020 10:29

I’ve been told they tend to start being concerned if you cross 2 centiles in either direction. So if he’s jumping up each time he’s weighed I guess he’s crossed more then 2. It does sound like he’s heavy, but it may be his natural size. If she’s feeling him huge portions of unhealthy food then she is causing him a problem. If he’s munching through plates of fruit and veg then it may just be what his body needs/wants. I doubt she’ll pay any attention to you, but say something if it will help you (agree about the others seeming to follow the bad advice. I had similar in a FB group when mine were little. Someone posted and go lots of people giving her incorrect advice. I pmd her and got a “Thanks, but no thanks” response 🤷🏻‍♀️)

wibdib · 27/04/2020 10:29

Could you deliberately misunderstand along the lines of a pp and assume that their dc is really tall so say oh wow that’s amazing he must have got so tall - is he into age 3 clothes yet?

Then if he is really tall that’s fine and you/she can make a joke about it being expensive to go through clothes so quickly...

If not and she says anything negative back you can just say you’re sorry but that you’d just assumed that as she was so pleased about him being so heavy he would also be tall as when you’d had dc they had really emphasised that the height and weight should more or less keep in sync and to be worried if not but if advice has changed and she’s happy that’s great and it gets so confusing doednt it as official advice keeps changing...

Then you can feel you have said something. If she ignores you then no surprise but might make a few others reading it stop and think!

Zaphodsotherhead · 27/04/2020 10:35

I have friends who are similar. They are boasting about their child's weight as though it is somehow 'better' to be heavier than all others of the same age.

Theirs was born heavy though and is just going up and up on the charts. I just smile and nod and agree that, yes, he's a big boy. Health professionals will get involved at a later date if there are serious concerns. Some children just suddenly shoot up and 'grow into' their weight. My DD1 was like this. Underweight baby became a very chunky crawler and then suddenly grew tall and was a stringy, active, slim child.

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