That she shouldn't be sending them to school?

[hotstepper4]

Willing to accept it if I am bu.

Dh has 2 dc, my ss10 and ss7. Usual contact is eow and one day in week.

Their dm is a council worker, I'm not sure exactly what she does but she has been working from home. She had the boys in school, apparently the school weren't happy about taking them as she was at home but she insisted she can't focus on her work with them on home.

Then the school closed through lack of teachers. She's managed to have the boys all through this and worked too.

Today she messaged Dh and announced that the school is reopening and she plans to send them in tomorrow. She only works 3 days per week. Dh said that he would like to have the boys here instead for those 3 days so that they don't have to go to school. She refused, apparently she'd miss them too much. We then said how about they just come here during school hours, again she refused because Dh also works from home and she wants them to be 'educated'

We now can't have them to stay here because they're back at school, I have a ds with asthma and I don't want to risk it. She says Dh is welcome to come and take the boys for a walk!

Is she bu? I think there's no reason why my Dh shouldn't be allowed to have his sons here 3 days per week.

Does anyone in the know, know what the school would think if they knew she'd been offered alternative child care for the boys and refused it?

Schools prefer children to be looked after outside school if possible unless the children are deemed to be vulnerable and then they would at the very least want to check on the welfare of the child and be in touch as appropriate to check how things are going and be as sure as they can that the child is OK at home.

I have a ds with asthma and I don't want to risk it.

But you risked it before the school closed?

I'm not sure the school would say anything. I expect they'd rather keep out of private disagreements.

They won't be educated at school atm. We just there babysitting them, not checking on their work.

It would be preferable for them not to go to school keeping in line with the request to only leave the house If you really need to.

You could point out that the education in the school will only be the same as they would have at home. Same work, only difference is the environment.

I dont have any children in school but I assume they are almagamting years If there are less than a class of kids to reduce the number of teachers required.

From what I have been told by teacher friends the kids are doing the work set by teachers which is sent to all children in that class and then watching films, doing arts and crafts etc... a very loose version of school very much what the kids at home are probably doing

So from what I’ve heard the schools are more free childcare than places of education at the moment. Probably would’ve had more home schooling with you and your DH, I’m assuming you don’t work as you didn’t mention you working for home so I’m assuming you could’ve done the schooling.

It makes no difference to your DS whether they stay or visit 3 days a week - he's being exposed regardless.

Any way YANBU, there is no reason that they couldn't be with your DH instead. Hashe pointed out that although she would miss them on those 3 days - that he's missing them too because they spend those 3 days In an exposed environment instead of with him?

Schools are being used for childcare right now but educational establishments.

Schools are childcare provision currently, not education.

It's difficult as both parents' views are important. However I don't think anyone should be judged for sending their children to school, when they are a key worker. Working from home is often not possible with primary age children.

I wouldn't get too worried. Mild asthma in its own in children doesn't se to be a risk fact. Or maybe I just tell myself that with two asthmatic kids

Whilst the education part is moot, as previous posters have suggested, the child care one is a grey area. If you're a keyworker and you can't work with the kids at home (which is many keyworker WFH roles at the min, as the work pressures are much higher than normal, as well as confidentiality and being available within certain hours a typical requirement, ie not flexible around kids) then you're meant to send them to school. You're not meant to arrange childcare, that's what school is for, and we've had schools tell parents to stop sending the kids to other family. If it's another parent then I can see why you would be questioning if they should come to you, but really mixing of households, while allowed for contact, isn't encouraged. Most parents I know have changed their contact so as to reduce risk, some entirely replacing with online contact (these aren't slack parents btw) or meeting up but distancing instead of going back and forth.

My dd has asthma and has almost certainly had it, and she was fine. I know that means bugger all except that I don’t think asthma in itself makes a child high risk, unless it’s severe (I.e frequently puts them in hospital / a and e). That’s what I was told by the asthma nurse anyway!

I don’t see the point of her putting them in school though.

I could probably argue I was a key work (I have a public sector job) but I can do it fine from home. Its a hard juggle but luckily they can go to exh some of the time!

We weren't seeing them before when she had them in school, then when school shut we had them again.

What irks me is that she never discusses any plans she has with them with Dh, she just does what she wants. She doesn't see him as a co parent, just a babysitter.

He's going to call the school tomorrow and ask them what they think.

He's going to call the school tomorrow and ask them what they think

Like that's going to go down well...

My suggestion is to keep your beaks out in the interest of maintaining civil relations.