To think a broken hip means hospital?

[onestepat]

Ok so my gran is 98 nearly 99.
Friday she fell and she couldn't stand /couldn't walk.
Obviously I phoned a Ambulance who took her to hospital.
My aunt said I was putting her in the firing line for covid.
She couldn't stand or walk and was in pain..what could I do ?
Anyway x ray showed a broken hip
They operated yesterday and today she is recovering.
I called and she was in the chair eating her lunch.
Please someone tell me I did the correct thing?
What other option did I have?
I'm terrified she will catch covid but I couldn't leave her at home in that condition.
My aunt is being ridiculous

There is no alternative but surgery for a broken hip in the elderly, like everyone has said. She would have been in too much pain to even have a bed bath/use a bed pan if she was left at home and it would have been cruel.

Of course you did the right thing.

Crazy behaviour from your aunt- broken hips are meant to be ridiculously painful, it would have been borderline abusive to deny your grandma pain relief with a broken hip, let alone put her at risk of all the nasty complications that can develop.

You did the right thing OP. It’s scary to imagine the number of people in need of treatment who are avoiding hospitals at the minute.

@maggiecate this is one of my main worries.
I really want or even need a proper care package in place.
I care alone and things have been a lot to take recently.
I really really need some help.
Last time she was discharged with hardly anything.
They gave us a pirching stool and that was it.
I really want to say I need help but worry incase they think I'm trying to get out of looking after her.

Absolutely did the right thing.

Lie in bed for months, get pressure sores, lose all muscle strength? Who would attend to her? how would she use the lavatory if bedridden? Of course you did the right thing. 99 is a phenomenal age anyway.. Amazing.

OP of course you done the right thing, would your Aunt rather your Gran was left in sheer bloody agony for hours or days before she died ? Because that is what would have happened.

They will be keen to discharge her so insist she is seen by physio and discharge social worker to put in place care package.
“Unsafe discharge” is a v useful phrase- saying you feel it is one should flag concerns.
Not sure about now but our falls team have been excellent.

Your aunt has every right to be old school if she wishes.. She does not have the right to play with somebody's safety.
Left untreated, your grandmother would have developed infections, the fractured hip would not have healed, she would have deteriorated badly, and had an early death, probably.

A busy surgical hospital does not carry out surgical treatment on a lady of her age, without necessity.

Your aunt knows nothing.
You did exactly the right thing.

Of course you did, she could've died from an untreated broken hip, or even if not if it had set wrong she'd have been crippled.

May I wish Gran a full recovery, and don't be too harsh on Aunt she in a way is right. Hospitals if somewere around overloaded arent the best place to be but it was the devil and deep blue sea, and in my opinion you dod the right thing else the poor lady would have died an unpleasent death with an unattended to broken hip!

You absolutely did the right thing there OP.

Lots of hospitals really aren't too busy, having cleared all the wards for Covid-19.

Of course you need help.

Now, more than ever, there are plenty of people who have "been there, done that".

DM(89) fell of a chair last year, changing a lightbulb (as you do, when you have family 1/2 mile away).

It really upset me as I'm there everyday.
Do everything for her.
I always say "il be a hour,do you need the toilet or a drink or anything before I go" then she says no
Then she starts pottering about
She goes in the bathroom to fold her towels or the kitchen to count the cups.

There will be an Occupational Therapist on the ward. Phone the ward and ask her to call you. Tell her how much you have been struggling and what with. Depending on how quickly she recovers, she will either go somewhere for rehabilitation or they will get her home with package of care and therapy at home if she is still improving. Your relatives attitude is why so many people are dying unnecessarily at home. Hospitals are business as normal and people need to not be so afraid. You did the right thing.

You absolutely did the right thing, your aunt needs to give her head a damn good wobble.

Would she rather your gran be completely incapacitated and bed bound due to the pain, potentially pass away due to complications (as already mentioned on this thread) than be treated in hospital? That's without even mentioning that if she has dementia, she'd be extremely confused by the fact she's in so much pain but probably can't remember WHY?

Would your aunt be going round or staying there to ensure your gran is cared for, fed, toileted etc? Nope, thought not.

She's an arse. YADNBU.

Well, that's the issue, isn't it, OP? You do everything, so you were in a position to realise what three months bedrest would mean if it went perfectly (and there were no guarantees that it would have worked out at all).

To people on the sidelines, like your aunt (and my gran's daughter who I mentioned up-thread!) it's easy to assume that the no-intervention approach is the best one because they don't see the risks that comes with that. How much does your aunt do?

Do you think she thought about bedpans and how many people would be required to come into your gran's house to provide any kind of adequate care package for a woman on bedrest with a broken hip?

I don't think she did! So, ignore her. You made the right decision, and so did all the medical staff involved.

Of course you did the right thing!

In my area they are trying to keep a smaller (non A&E) Hospital CV free and are transferring elderly orthopaedic patients over there - your hospital will have a similar plan to keep your gran as safe as possible.

@onestepat Make sure there’s a full occupational therapy assessment done of her and the house before she’s discharged and that you tell the social worker that you’re struggling and she needs professional support.

It’s not a question of you trying to get out of looking after her - it’s that she needs and deserves properly trained professional carers who can look after her physical well-being whilst you do the emotional heavy lifting that a dementia diagnosis inevitably brings. You’ve got her to nearly 99 - that’s brilliant. But it’s important to be clear that you can’t meet her needs any more.

Too many carers struggle because they feel guilty and it ends up as a crisis that’s dangerous for them and the person they’re looking after. We did the whole ‘we can manage,’ ‘don’t want to be a nuisance’ and ‘we can try and work round it’ and it was the wrong thing to do.

Best advice we had was from my brother’s MIL, who was a senior nurse: the phrase “unsafe discharge” is your friend. Make it clear politely but firmly that if she’s sent home and falls due to inadequate care you’ll be making a fuss. You have to stop worrying about what anyone thinks about you, and worry about getting your gran the best care that’s available. You may have to be polite but ‘awkward’ to get it.

If they try to present you with a fait accompli and there’s any details that you’re unhappy with speak up, challenge and question. We’ve had calls to say “mum’s getting out tomorrow” and when we’ve asked for details of the package it’s completely inappropriate so we’ve said no. You’re her advocate so don’t be scared to say the famous mumsnet catchall phrase: “That doesn’t work for her.”

You absolutely did the right thing. Now need to help her recover as best she can which means listening to the clinical advice, accepting physio and gentle exercise - small and often. Wish her well x

She is very fussy with food and the hospital said today she would only eat yoghurts and biscuits.
Am I able to drop off any food to her and leave it at the entrance do you think ?

I had no problem bringing food for DS when in hospital (he is was allergic to everything). It is perfectly fine.
But check about why she is not eating, if she has arthritis, she may be finding it difficult to use cutlery on some meats and whatever we may wish nurses to do, it is often not possible to do enough in a ward full with very old people (they may have their hands very full, which is unsettling but unfortunately they often have more work than the can manage)

Check with the hospital re the foods, they'll have a policy on what you can leave for her but it shouldn't be an issue - I dropped off an Easter egg and fairy cakes for my mum!

Snacks, biscuits and juice etc should be fine - generally prepacked rather than home made is preferred for food safety purposes. At the age of 99 a 'healthy' diet probably doesn't need to be your main concern - anything that gets the calories into her is good at this point so if she wants chocolate send chocolate!!

The hospital will likely facilitate you dropping a package off for her. Call tbe ward to find out what the situation is.

You obviously did ther correct thing calling. Even people on end of life plans attend a&e for suspected fractures since if untreated they're very painful. Even if surgery was not felt suitable due to age etc then you still need to know what you're dealing with!

Also if she'd stayed at home unable to move through pain or disability it's just not a plan. Who is going to do ask her personal care, all meals and drinks... shed end up catching covid from someone coming into her house!

I'm going to deffo ask.
On my local food groups restaurants have been dropping off meals for staff etc so can't see it being a problem hopefully

They let me drop some food off.
I could take it to the ward door but I wasn't allowed In.
It killed me to know she was through the doors but I couldn't say hello.

YANBU people die from broken hips (complications not the hip itself)