Should I stay or should I go?

[Blanca123]

So before today I had my mind completely made up to leave my partner of 5+ years but after briefly speaking with my sister she has made me feel as though I should really rethink where my head is at and appreciate my current life.... Right here goes.... Me and my partner have been together so many years had ups and downs like most relationships do but after having my son last year I have felt a complete shift in my feelings, I still love him, still want a future with him BUT feel so lonely in the relationship and have done so for about 7 months now, this is something I have previously discussed with him but still no change in his behaviour, he leaves me and our son all day everyday to go 'work', has barely any interaction with me or our son when he is home, never helps with cooking/cleaning/washing of clothes or dishes (tends to cause the most mess) I personally feel and have felt like a single mother for the most part of my sons life as we tend to do everything together minus his dad but recently I had a NDE and while on ITU recovering lets just say I had a lot of time to think about so many things( I'm 100% recovered now) and decided to change a few things in my life, this relationship being one of them so I initially tried more interaction especially with the quarentine happening I expected loads of time to talk and hopefully get to a deeper understanding of each other this hasn't happened instead its caused us to argue more leading me to start the process to move out(we have discussed this so he is fully aware of the situation) but I work part time so we have agreed that we will stay with him until I save up enough to move into a home comfortably so it currently feels like limbo, I would really like peoples opinions and advice on this that are single mums or mums going through similar situations because I've really been struggling with this in my mind since speaking with my sister who had a really hard time with her childs father leading her to have to leave him whereas I almost have a 'choice', like am I being silly? Am I asking for a lot that I want my sons father spend more time with us? Is this a situation that will pass? Do other mums remember experiencing this but are now in a better situation?

I don’t think it is unreasonable at all to want him to be present in the relationship and family.

I felt this with my ex, we have twins together. He was always out working/gigging/rehearsing/whatever, our house was just 4 walls where he slept, he had no desire to build a home with us and eventually I called it as I didn’t want to spend another 12 years together and resent him for it. We are great friends now and co-parent very well.

At the end of the day it’s not your sister’s life, it’s yours. X

I honestly wish I was as strong as you. Relationship the exact same. After 15 years still no change and I'm miserable but I dont go I'm too scared . All the promises all the I will change and nothing.

Some people are just comfortable doing basics, less than basics. Not just day to day drudge but relationships, living, growing.

Ultimately its upto you, but I so wish I had the balls to do it, i love him too much but he drags me down with him.

Thank you both for responding, I think I just need to stick to how I feel, I understand 100% being a single mum will be hard but and lonely but not as lonely as being in a relationship where there isn't any appreciation or time spent, even in the time I'm now in limbo (Staying with him but preparing to leave) he doesn't even say thank you for the food he eats or fresh clean clothes he puts on, its all an eye opener, I think my sisters mentality is a little backwards "as long as he hasn't publicly cheated on you just stick it out" but the reality is I'm straight up not happy and am tired of explaining this to someone that clearly doesn't want to change or is so comfortable, again thank you ladies