Video Call

[bloodysqueakyeggs]

I really don't know if I'm being over sensitive or not.

DH is having a video call on Tuesday with his group of friends for an occasion. A text message has gone around with the friends and all of their partners on it. I'm not on it. We've been together 7 years. Organiser definitely has my number, we've messaged to make arrangements in the last few months.

I get on with them all fine. We're not close (I have my own group of friends that I see more regularly, and time is very limited for socialising as we have three small children under 5 one of whom is disabled) but when a group thing is organised I usually go along as long as it fits with the children. Always have a pleasant chat etc but probably wouldn't arrange to see them all without DH. I sometimes miss things that are arranged because they can be unsuitable for my child with a disability, so DH might go on his own with the other two.

I said I wasn't going to join the call with DH as I feel like I'm not invited, if I was I'd have been added to the group. DH thinks I'm being stupid and that they would just have assumed he'd tell me and I'd join him. He says it'll be weird and awkward if I'm clearly at home (because obviously I will be!) but not joining in.

I would take part if I'd have been added, but as I'm not it feels a bit like I'm crashing the party, so to speak.

Thoughts?

Am I being naive? Don't you just prop up your phone/iPad so you are both in view? We never bother signing in with more than one device in the house. They will just assume you are going to be there I would have thought.

Why do you need to be added to a video call that your partner is on? If you're friends with everyone surely you just join him on screen?

I think the same as notchickenagain

Life is too short for all this overthinking unless you think you know a specific reason why they might not like you?

Yes I think everyone would just be jointly on screen not on individual devices but it's the fact that everyone plus partners has been added to the text except for me.

You're definitely overthinking it. If you were purposely being excluded then no way they would include DH and expect him to sit in a room with the door shut so you couldn't be part of it!

I’d feel the same as you OP, though I admit to being a massive over-thinker. I think you’ll probably feel better if you join the call though.

YABU. You’re overthinking it. Just sit next to him on the call

You are massively over thinking this.

I'm sure they would just assume you would be joining. I felt mortified last week because I don't have my friend's wife's number so didn't add her to a group chat to arrange video chats with a group of school friends. I felt awful when she didn't join in and messaged him separately to say - she is very much invited, I just don't have her number. I was pleased to see her join the next chat. I really did just presume they would both be joining - that's if she wanted to.

I’m such an over thinker, you are over thinking this one big time. No one is leaving you out , it will just be an error.

Join in

What are the chances that they really thought “let’s invite everyone except bloodysqueakyeggs”?
I’m a massive over thinker but I think it’s an error.

Join the call.

Ok I'm being UR. Thank you everyone!

Clearly lockdown is getting to me 🤦‍♀️

I don't think I would give a shit honestly. Join in or not, it's not worth worrying about at the moment.

Yay, enjoy!