To be annoyed at my mum for telling family I’m pregnant?

[kittenrug]

I just found out my mum told family members I was pregnant before I had the chance and before my 12 weeks scan. Really annoyed AIBU?

YANBU, but you shouldn’t have told her if you didnt want anyone knowing? If you want something secret, don’t tell anyone.

You can be annoyed. I found out my dad told that entire side of the family I was pregnant before my period was even late! (yes I told him stupidly early)

I know she was just excited but it’s really annoyed me. She minimised it and turned it on me saying I was wrong for being upset about it. She won’t ever be told early if I have anymore!

That's so annoying, and yes learn your lesson for future pregnancies. But is it possible to see it as sweet that she's so excited? And congratulations 🎉

don't tell her anything else about the pregnancy. Her fault.

Lesson learned op

From now on she gets minimum details on your life.

Did you ask her not to tell anyone? If so YANBU, very frustrating when you can't share your news yourself. I understand the excitement but not fair to you.

Did you tell her not to tell anyone? Then I'd be pissed off more with her reaction rather than the fact she told other people. She should be embarrassed and apologetic and instead she is trying to make out you're in the wrong for being upset with her shitty behaviour!? That's rubbish

YANBU. People can't be trusted. My MIL did this to us

Ah, don't worry OP. My mum was a nightmare until I had kids. Then she realised fairly quickly that if she annoyed me she wouldn't see me for a while. Which meant not seeing her grandchild for a while. She's far more willing to apologise when I tell her she's stepped out of line nowadays. Yours may well be the same. In the interim, I'd let her know that she's no longer on your list of people trusted to keep confidences and she'll now be finding out key details at the same time as everyone else.

Just don’t tell her anything else, if she asks just say everything’s ok and change the subject.

And whatever you do don't tell her about any names you've decided on or tell her some outrageous names so she will be relieved and happy with whatever you name your baby.

My FIL did the same. I had been so excited see the look on my niece‘s face when she found out she was getting a cousin and I don’t think I‘ll ever forgive him for taking that away from me.

It meant he was the last to know about DC2.

It’s sweet that your mum is excited but she broke your trist

Trust!!

My mums like this noone trusts her. After blabbling a few baby announcements and any family news. My siblings (big family) took to telling each other first. Then she would be informed. Only she would think she was the first to know. We made a game of it. She would be sworn to secrecy. Then we would place bets on who she would ring first and how long it took her to ring. It was minutes rather than hours.

My parents told all of their church friends. Sadly I miscarried that baby but they didn't bother telling their friends that part. This meant that the next time I saw said friends (some time later as we don't live nearby) I was swamped with "how are you, how many weeks now" etc etc which was awful and heartbreaking. When I was pregnant next time we told no one until 12 weeks. Lesson learned!

Mine will talk about any health issue I or my sister has with all her friends. In detail. So we have both learned to tell her nothing, ever.

And I will absolutely respect my daughters confidences as she grows up.

you could have some fun over the next few months with this OP

don't tell her about any names you've decided on or tell her some outrageous names

@Adfghvg that's so funny.

Op sorry she told people for you but she was probably so pleased for you. Don't fall out big time but just be more guarded in future with what you share.

Did you ask her specifically not to tell anyone?

I’d try and tell myself it’s not really a big deal, however the fact she hasn’t apologised and is instead deflecting the ‘blame’ onto you compounds the issue.

My mum did this with my first 2 pregnancies, despite being asked not to. I've since learnt that she is incapable of keeping a secret, so with my last 2 pregnancies, we didn't tell her until we were ready to tell everyone.

Sorry you've had the chance to announce your news taken away. I'd definitely mention something to her along the lines of "We wanted to tell people ourselves", and make sure you are clear on any rules RE birth announcements when the time comes (eg, nothing on social media until you've posted yourselves). Saying that, I think you can stipulate all the rules you want, and they will still get broken in some way.