Don't know how to 'do' this version of life - any advice?

[Neverender]

Hello DailyFail, and hello Mumsnetters,

Before COVID I was working full time with a three yr old at nursery and then using my evenings/every other weekend DD has with her dad to study (we aren't together).

Suddenly I'm expected to be a stay at home working full time student mother and I don't know how to do it.

He's not working/working sporadically and has zero interest in making my life easier.

Any tips for trying to do everything and not totally f**k it up? I'm well aware there are men and women on here who have achieved this and more, so looking for any practical tips to not completely eff everything up.

Ty in advance x

I totally hear you. Our situations are different so I don’t have advice, but I’m beginning to struggle. I need to work out a long term strategy for living life like this.

Talk to your lecturers/teachers/supervisors! Many of us are also juggling WFH with childcare and will be very sympathetic. You may be able to extend deadlines or defer entirely, it might take some of the pressure off?

Firstly, don't be too hard on yourself

Secondly, get Disney+.

Do what you need to, anything on top of that is a bonus. Always remember to pick your battles - not everything actually really matters.

Does he see her at all? If so- prioritise studying then. Even if it’s just an hour here and there. Talk to your adviser of studies/lecturer and let them know your situation. Let the 3 year old watch some more tv than usual and study then too. But don’t sweat it. Adjustments will be made for this time for many students.

Most universities are giving long extensions at the moment. It depends on your course though. One option might be to withdraw for a year and pick the course up later. I know someone who has had no choice but to do that because of childcare issues.

Thanks for the replies, I'm really grateful. He does see her but it's totally on his terms and as and when he fancies. I don't mind as I really want him to have a relationship with her but it means I can't plan at all.

I'm a year and a few months into an MBA so only 1 yr left and really don't want to postpone it if I can help it. I was doing ok before nursery closed but now it feels impossible!

(I really DO mind but he doesn't care about helping me so there's zero point in me asking him for help at all)

#KellyHall what's Disney plus?

Omg can't even tag people properly!

I’m in a similar position, something has to give so I’ve taken a 6 month break on my course. I’m gutted but it won’t matter in a years time. I’ve got the option to resume earlier if things return to normal so it may not be 6 months but it has given me the breathing space to keep the other plates spinning.

I hear you, honestly,
Maybe that's the best option....

Can you get up early and get a couple of hours in before your DC is up? I used to find that very good to get ahead.

I hear you. Working full time with a toddler is nigh on impossible. I've pretty much given up and am just spending my time with the toddler. She spent ages in front of the TV for the first few weeks but I just wasn't happy to let that continue. I'd definitely defer studying if I were you.

What kind of job do you do OP?Any way of taking some time out of it?Studying, working and childcare is very difficult. Take care of yourself