Crying baby: what would you do?

[IrisAtwood]

A neighbour’s young baby is screaming and crying hysterically most of the day. I mean really hysterical gasping screams.

Occasionally I hear Mum singing and dancing to entertain the baby, which makes it scream more, and she just carries on.

Is this normal? I know babies cry and some more than others, but this is really hysterical screaming.

I don’t know the family as they have recently moved in.

I used to joke that DS (number 2) would cry if his feet pointed the wrong way.

Dark, dark times.

My son cried pretty much non stop for the first 12 weeks. It's was awful.

@Therabble's suggestion of chocolate and "hope you're ok, anything I can do?" message is lovely.

I think if you post a note it would be kind to make a point of saying you’re not complaining about the noise and just wanted to offer some solidarity and help if there’s anything you can do. I was so paranoid about disturbing the neighbours with dd that I’m sure my stress didn’t help the situation.

Maybe recommend her some decent noise cancelling headphones and a good podcast!

As said it could well be medical issues, some SEN babies have been reported to scream from birth.

My GC wouldn't be put down without crying hysterically. We had to put shopping on the pram and carry her, she was later diagnosed with a bowel condition.

It’s good that you’re concerned, so turn it into support - a little note and some chocolate like others have suggested is a great idea.

It could be something medical like colic as other posters have said, but to me the fact that the mother is actively engaging with the child (singing and dancing) means she's not neglecting it, there might just be nothing she can do about it.

Also, some babies just have a temper. My eldest was so chill, he barely ever got upset. My youngest (not yet 1 year old) is and always has been so full of emotion, he's either super happy or screaming the place down in a temper because we wouldn't let him play with the TV remote, we dared to put him down on the floor while making dinner, he failed to put his ball in the hole in his toy correctly etc. Sometimes in order to get anything done at all I just have to let him rage, keep smiling and singing at him and hope to distract him until I've finished what I'm doing. He's safe, he's cared for, he's not neglected... He's just grumpy.

Please drop a note through with your number and an offer of help. When lockdown is over perhaps you could go and hold the baby for a while to give her a break?
I can't tell you how much that'll be appreciated.
Also chocolate/wine/anything nice for the mum.

It could be Colic
Do you have kids OP?
Babies do cry, some hysterically and some for very long periods of time. I understand your discomfort in hearing it but YABU to assume it’s neglect. Maybe ask the mum if she needs anything instead of those assumptions as she probably feels bad enough at the thought of other people hearing

I was just concerned about the whole family. I agree that we all need to be supportive and am not being judgmental.

I mentioned neglect as I live in the city where the Daniel Pelka case occurred - he was the 6 year old that was starved, beaten and tortured for months and months and no one did anything - not even his teachers. So I am very mindful of being aware of what is happening to children and not ignoring things.

I didn’t have a ‘crier’, although my sone barely slept, so I was just checking that some babies do cry like this.

Thanks for all of the responses. They are helpful.

Her husband is home and they seem to disappear for days on end, so may be going to stay with extended family when it gets too much.

To my mind that’s a legitimate reason to travel and stay with someone else. The risk is lower than having a breakdown I think.

I'd try to befriend mum, I had a screaming baby and even though he's now 28 I can still remember how hard it was and how much I wished for a local friend to look out for me.

My nephew cried for the first year of his life. Just the way some kids are.

I realise reading this thread how lucky I am that mine only constantly cried for 6 weeks. I have every sympathy with anyone going through it

@ChristmasFluff same here!

DS (oldest) cried for 4 weeks straight when he was born. I remember screaming and sobbing in a different room. I can't imagine the strength of those that do it beyond those first few weeks!

This is the reason I have one baby and no more I hated a screaming baby they are the worst

My eldest cried for months after she was born, she turned out to have a whole bunch of allergies and it was a long road to figure out exactly what she could tolerate!

Be careful with how you approach this, if she’s struggling and you go in there thinking abuse it could be quite damaging for her.

Honestly if you think there’s a genuine, serious, threat to the baby then call social services for them to check, but if not (I’d be concerned calling over just a crying baby) then maybe just pop over and say you can hear the baby is having a tough time at the moment and is there anything you can do to help?

My baby cried for 6months when he was born due to Colic and reflux. Could be any number of things tbh, even the hot weather.