Behaviour towards children

[Ineedwine1]

I'm not perfect at all but I wouldn't do these things to my DS. I've grown up from an abusive childhood and some things stuck with you.
Just recently I have seen parents trying to embarrasses their children by making it a competition to become more "popular" than their kids on social media. Putting captions such as "my daughter is trying to get views but I said I could get more than her, help me out" like wtf! Why do you have to outdo your child? How mean is that?
And then just now I've seen a thread on fb that someone started saying whats your nickname for you kids/family. He said his was obese niece to his niece. I said do you call her that, he said yea she thinks im funny. Er did he ever think she's just laughing alone to look polite and actually it upsets her. Quite a few parents said their kids nickname is smelly. Also think that's harsh.
If you call your child something so many times, they will end up believing that. It's abusive in my eyes.
Aibu?

Sorry few typos

The obese nickname isn’t nice at all. I think with smelly it can be really affectionate and jokey, like “come here and give me a hug stinky pants”. It’s not a nickname we use but it’s not like calling a child obese.

I think the obese comment is horrible and will potentially give her a complex about her body as she grows up, so damaging.

But smelly I don’t think is too bad, a lot of families can use words like that with love - as long as the kid doesn’t think they smell and knows it’s affectionate I don’t think it’s harmful. I haven’t seen any posts about getting more views competitions but I think it would depend on the child, some would enjoy the competitive side of it and enjoy doing a game/challenge with their parent.

The "can I get more likes than my daughter" thing might be a bit cringeworthy but I definitely don't see it as abusive or even unpleasant

I mean it might not be abusive but depends how the parent is. So my dad would never ever let me and my sister win at anything and still to this day doesn't. It can knock your confidence and he then laughs and says I'm better than you. So it could be viewed as abusive over time.

Yea agree smelly could be cute when they are smaller and as long as they know you didn't mean it in that way.

The obese niece thing is awful, everything else i think youre projecting.

I don't think I'm projecting. I think it's mean to film your child and laugh and say she's trying so hard but I said I'm going to beat her. So let's do that. I just think think it's weird to be in competition with your own child

Smelly, scally-wag, goose all fine in my eyes and their ears.
Obese is mean.
It was awful when I was a DC. I think now people in general are more compassionate to a DC mental wellbeing.
I won't say what I call my DC in my mind some days

If it really upsets you, stay away from that sort of social media / Facebook.

I do think your views on this are skewed by your own experiences op

The dance challenge is very popular lately lost of families compiling funny dance videos.
My DD would rather die but she is shy, my niece would love it and be determined to beat her DM.

@Ineedwine1
If these things are triggers from your own abusive childhood then it won’t help you to be in constant contact with them.
You wouldn’t do that to children, but you cannot control every one or know every one’s particular circumstances, so don’t cause your self further pain by looking at it or fretting over it.

@Ineedwine1
It’s one of the many reasons I had to step away from Facebook
👍🏼

My sister's nickname for me was smellbag, shortened to smell when I got older. Never bothered me as it was meant in an affectionate way. My great aunt would call me fat and funny but again I knew it was meant as a joke and I liked having her call me something different, as silly as that sounds.
I found a card from her the other day addressed to Fat and Funny and cried my eyes out. She's been gone for years but I love and miss her still.

Obese is definitely not a term to be thrown around though!!