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AIBU?

To find today the hardest working day I have ever had in my working life?

57 replies

Livingtothefull · 23/04/2020 18:40

I have a professional role and in the current situation I am working from home. DH is a key worker so travelling to work during the day.

DH is severely disabled both mentally and physically. He usually goes to a special needs college but in the current situation of course it is closed. So I am having to care for him at home whilst working. Normally we would have carers in while we work but of course that isn't an option right now.

Today I had a massive deadline for a project and really thought I would go mad with the stress of getting it done. DS was upset at my being preoccupied, decided to try to distract me by threatening to call 999. So found myself working on the project and trying to write coherently and professionally in between trying to wrest the phone from him.

Luckily my workplace are supportive but I still feel this won't be sustainable for very long.

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Sharkyfan · 15/05/2020 23:43

Sounds so tough
Appreciate it’s not that simple in terms of needing familiar people, but care agencies are absolutely working. (I work in adult social care)
I feel sad that the effect of closure of day centres etc for people caring for relatives with disabilities or conditions like dementia, is not getting the same attention or coverage as the effect of closure of schools. In many cases it will be having more of an effect.

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Butterymuffin · 15/05/2020 23:53

No advice but that sounds massively stressful OP and I'm sorry you had that awful day. Not what any of you deserved. Flowers

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whatsthepointinwasps · 16/05/2020 00:13

I know at the moment you are using the ‘direct payment’ option and employing your own carers but I am pretty certain that you can and will get support through social services at the moment as your usual care is unavailable. Even if your son does not have a social worker you can ring the access/duty worker so your local council to discuss what’s needed. This is how it works in Scotland for adults with care needs, should be similar elsewhere.

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Patsypie · 16/05/2020 00:55

What happened to your DH? Accident?

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Canuckduck · 16/05/2020 03:41

I feel for you, you are in an impossible situation. We’re trying to work from home with two high pressure roles (for completely different reasons). Our children have been off school since March 13th. I am just about at breaking point with it all and a return to school / childcare is looking unlikely here until September. It’s not sustainable.

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CoCoCorona · 16/05/2020 03:53

Oh dear that sounds really tough. We were in a similar situation for 5/6 weeks after lockdown when carers didn’t want to come in for an elderly disabled relative.

Do your hospital provide some kind of caring service that you could use whilst you wait for them to come back? Thats what we used, but the only downside it was someone different every time. Could you contact social services and see what they suggest?
Flowers

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Livingtothefull · 18/05/2020 08:03

Yes I feel also that this situation is not sustainable.....yet I thought that weeks ago and here I am, still dealing with it.

That's a good idea CoCoCorona, or even one of our usual carers could keep him occupied over phone/Facetime for an hour or two. We had a call from DS social worker a couple of weeks ago and explained her situation but she didn't mention anything else we would be entitled to.

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