Anxiety over meeting

[Ell452]

new job and yesterday had a zoom meeting with manager and other staff. I feel it went really bad. I was very nervous and my kids were running around. I asked a silly question about what one of the acronym means (it was something everyone should know). I don’t feel able to relax and not think of it. I’m having thoughts that they must be thinking I’m stupid n don’t deserve the job. I suffer from low self esteem and anxiety. How can I be more confident when talking in work situations - any advice please. Is it likely they’re all talking about me thinking I’m an idiot!

Highly unlikely!

Can remember everything single thing that every person said?

Honestly that’s just the anxiety talking. Take some deep calming breaths and switch off, do something that will take your focus away and give it 100%

I was very nervous and my kids were running around.

You need to find a way of stopping that. No kids on show during a zoom meeting. Very unprofessional.

Is someone else at home to look after them. Of can you tie them up with gaffer tape and stick them in the under stairs cupboard, hostage style.

I can guarantee they have much more of their own shit going on than thinking about a work meeting where a new person asked some questions...

Calm down. Bring your anxiety into check.

When you have meetings spend 15 mins beforehand preparing - what's the meeting about? What are you joining - what is expected from you? If there is a specific topic familiarise yourself in advance and email any immediate questions to your boss so you don't feel you have to raise in the meeting.

If you still feel like a twit then nod and agree and ask afterwards...

You're the new person - there are never any stupid questions when you are new. Make the most of it!

I was very nervous and my kids were running around.

Kids were upstairs with husband. I could “hear” them running around. My mind was on them. I’m not “unprofessional” lol

@StealthMama thank you for the advice! I just felt I stuttered at the start when they asked me what I did before. I had a baby like matter of months ago so was explaining I was on maternity I just stuttered through it all!

It is very hard to start a new job and over zoom. my job has had two new starters in the last two weeks and we understand how awkward it is for them - so difficult to form friendships. I can guarantee nobody is thinking about you not remembering an acronym!

Can you make sure you get some good headphones for your next meeting so you aren't distracted? Also no need to be rude to the poster who mentioned your kids running around because that is what your post made it sound like! Glad that wasn't the case :)

@1555CC you’re so not funny. Have u considered single parents? Don’t judge people being unprofessional in these times. I didn’t have my kids on show they were upstairs. If I was a single parent then the work would have to consider my circumstances. There’s always one silly post to make the OP feel even more crap!

@ErickBroch thanks Eric good advice

Don't worry about it, I'm sure plenty of us have asked a question that we've kicked ourselves for.

I work with animals and was dealing with a dog that had been bitten by a cat. I was told the bite was on the right shoulder, so of course I asked if that was on the front legs or back legs. There's was just a moment silence while everyone stared at me and then we all just burst out laughing.

I have a habit of overthinking these things too, both in my work place and and social life. I don't have the answer how to switch it off I'm afraid, I just try and take it until I make it

I manage a team remotely and I have no problems with the odd child or cat wandering into shot. These are not normal times and we need to cut some slack. One tip might be to turn of the camera - many people feel really shy when they see their face on the screen and become fixated on their own body language etc. Just tell them you lap top camera isn't working

I have worked in my current job for more years then I care to count and was on a conference call today and someone used a acronym and I asked what they meant. Really common acronym that is said several times a day but I just had an absolute mind blank.
It must be so stressful starting a new job after maternity at the best of times never mind working from home in the middle of a pandemic. I know it’s easy to say but honestly people will not be judging you. We have some staff that only came out of training in February and they have lots and lots of questions and not a single person has been snippy or impatient with them. Certainly no one is talking about them or calling them idiots.

Take it slow, take your time before answering a question, it helps you focus. And smile. It's OK to be a bit quiet and it's OK to look friendly. New jobs are rubbish at the best of times. And I agree about turning off the camera (if you're going to I'd stick something over it to be honest so it won't come back on if you accidentally click 'allow'). And don't get hung up on something you asked, people ask random stuff all the time, really, ALL the time!

If they’re thinking about you at all (sorry, that’s not intended in a bad way!) it’s probably thinking how hard it must be to be starting a new job in this situation! It’s natural for many of us to dwell on the things we said, but generally other people forget very quickly or don’t even notice the silly mistakes.

I’ve just started a new job and it’s so difficult remotely! And that’s within the same company with some people I know pretty well and I already understand the basics of the job. So can’t imagine how much worse it would be starting something brand new! It’s hard coming in to an existing team dynamic anyway, but especially when you’re not physically sat with them.