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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a great big semi or detached house must be SO lovely?!

426 replies

NeverYouMind123 · 23/04/2020 13:13

Terraced here. It's okay most of the time but I dream of living in a house with no fucking neighbour noise whatsoever. These walls are so thin I can hear the microwave next door. I dream of buying a semi detached in a few years with hallways next to each other separating the living rooms or when I'm really feeling ambitious I dream of a detached house, which must be the mother of all awesomeness. I know there is still 'area noise' but I'm not really a garden person so kids playing outside and lawnmowers etc don't phase me so much. But oh to wake up with no 'house noise' and to know I can sit in the lounge or lie in bed and have PURE SILENCE all day and not hear a dog bark or a door slam or an argument or a television. Is it as great as I think it is?

OP posts:
Freelancegirl · 23/04/2020 15:35

I know it sounds weird but I always imagine I would be scared at night in a big detached house, especially one in the countryside! I always imagine people creeping around the garden and being able to peek in at night.

I like having neighbours around me, living in a standard Victorian London terrace. I can't really hear them so we must have well insulated walls. Our gardens are not huge, about 50ft, but that's enough for me.

zafferana · 23/04/2020 15:36

I agree it depends on your neighbours and also on the quality of the build. I've lived in flats, semis and detached and all can be quiet/noisy depending on how they're built and who lives next door or above/below. I bloody love where we live now though - detached with a garden - and since all this corona-nonsense started I've been more grateful than ever.

TheGoogleMum · 23/04/2020 15:37

I always rented semi detached/terraces/flats, but ended up buying a detached house (wasn't an essential requirement, bought a new build and that's what happened to be available). I was surprised at how much less you hear, although we have loud sweary neighbours garden at the back of our garden. Neighbours in general seem noiser during lockdown but only when outside to be honest inside I don't really hear them. I think I would miss detached if we moved to a semi!

Annamaria14 · 23/04/2020 15:39

Living in a detached house out in the country can be incredibly boring, I still look back on it as "prison". Adra can drive around. Children can't. So from age 12 - to 18, when children in towns might be walking to the shop or to the park, I could not walk anywhere

I grew up in Ireland - where detached bungalows out in rural, isolated areas are very common.

I actually think that making a child live in a very isolated area - is child abuse.

formerbabe · 23/04/2020 15:39

We have a terraced house but very quiet neighbours.

I hated living in a flat and would never willingly do it again.

Annamaria14 · 23/04/2020 15:40

*adults can drive around

80sMum · 23/04/2020 15:41

YANBU. I live in a detached house with a garden in a small village/hamlet. All the neighbours are very quiet. The only sounds we tend to hear are occasional traffic from a nearby road; birds; ocasional dogs barking; more birds; occasional garden machinery; yet more birds and sometimes people talking in the next-door garden. At night we hear owls and foxes and the wind in the trees. It's lovely.
I know I am so very lucky to be here and count my blessings every day.

HappyBirthdayQueenieMarm · 23/04/2020 15:41

Its not all that cracked up to be unless you are also a decent distance away from neighbours.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 23/04/2020 15:44

I lived in an end of terrace and that was lovely and quiet. Generally as long as your neighbours are quiet it’s fine. Now in a semi with a shouty neighbour next to us!

Alsohuman · 23/04/2020 15:45

Ours is a semi. We can hear the neighbours going upstairs and their conversations in the garden are clearly audible.

CaptSkippy · 23/04/2020 15:46

I live in a flat, but the walls are thick and the view is amazing. I do wish I had a garage, but I would not want to trade in my current living situation just for that.

MarieQueenofScots · 23/04/2020 15:48

We did cottage to terrace to big detached.

I absolutely love it and due to various fortunate circumstances it is easily affordable on my single income now.

The best bit for me is the garden though, I don't think I appreciated it properly before but being able to be easily 20 feet from anyone else in any direction is lovely at the moment!

nevergoingoutagain · 23/04/2020 15:48

I used to live in terraces but they were designed with the kitchens stairs and cloakroom next to each other and the smallest bedroom and bathroom upstairs. Was never really affected by noise and they only had single skin brick dividing walls!

I'm now in a semi and no one is next door. The builders have been very loud up and down stairs even with the carpet in. I hope they're just heavy footed!!

GinnyStrupac · 23/04/2020 15:51

You'd think so, wouldn't you OP, and I do feel for you, but we had one of our least restful and peaceful abodes as a family in the form of a detached with no neighbours at all. Daytime it was indeed lovely, nights not so much. We never did get to the bottom of the opening, closing and slamming doors that woke everyone up, or the other things that went bump in the night.

TheNavigator · 23/04/2020 15:53

I live in a teeny bungalow, and the lack of space is made up for by a decent sized plot with plenty of parking space. No issues with parking, no worries about noise disturbing the neighbours or of being disturbed. I'd love a bigger house but I'd take my wee bungalow over a big semi any day.

SweetMarmalade · 23/04/2020 15:54

Semi detached here with thin walls. Don’t like the ndn as they decided that banging on walls and turning their tv up REALLY loud when Ds was a baby would stop him crying Sad They were complete arseholes! Stress was through the roof as you can imagine.

Ds is now a teenager and is very good, knows not to stomp up and down stairs, knows the walls in this house are rubbish so not to shout too loudly when he’s playing games with his friends on his xbox. We still have the same ndn and mutter polite hellos to them if we have to but I’ll never forget what twats they were! Still, I feel sad that Ds can’t properly ‘play’ in the house for fear of upsetting the ndn, even though they’ve been pretty awful to live next to I still wouldn’t let Ds make excessive noise.

Other than that we do have a lovely big garden but I’d give anything to own a detached property. Wouldn’t care about the outside noise I’d just feel that we could properly live inside. I can hear ndn snore, yawn, hear their microwave, phone ringing but at least they don’t feel the need to object anymore by blasting their tv if they hear us or rather, our crying colicky and reflux baby.

FIL does make me laugh though. He’s always lived remotely, detached cottage in the country. Doesn’t quite understand how neighbours can affect your life to such a stressful degree. He used to say, I know what you mean, we can hear the milk lorry, occasional tractor and some neighbours dog that lived probably a mile away!

Bella2020 · 23/04/2020 15:57

I'm 50 now and in my first ever detached property. Its wonderful! Keep dreaming and working towards the kind of home you want.

Tabitha005 · 23/04/2020 15:58

I'm soon to be moving to my first ever owned detached house and I can't wait. I'm a bit giddy about it, if I'm honest. It's nothing big or flash, but the pure luxury of having my own driveway, as well as no attached neighbours cannot be overstated by this ex-council flat girl who's never lived in a detached house before.

AnnaC2020 · 23/04/2020 15:58

It is lovely. I’ve just bought a semi detached house. First time buyer here at age 20! I lived in a terraced house with my parents for years and I never heard a thing from my neighbours 😂

Newuser123123 · 23/04/2020 16:00

This is a very good thread. I had totally stopped appreciating being detached. I was getting annoyed about road noise prelockdown but now it's almost too quiet!

Dagnabit · 23/04/2020 16:02

Yes, it’s lovely and I couldn’t go back to flat/attached house living now. You do hear noise obliviously in the garden but rarely in the house plus you don’t have to worry about your own noise either. I feel very lucky, particularly during the current circumstances.

Disquieted1 · 23/04/2020 16:02

Am I the only one to see the double entendre? All these people craving a huge semi, and all.

Must be going mad in lockdown.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 23/04/2020 16:02

You still hear the noisy fuckers in the garden, music up loud, screaming and kicking a ball against the fence in a detached or semi detached house. There’s no escape from some inconsiderate people unless you have absolutely no neighbours at all and live in the middle of nowhere.

RoseMartha · 23/04/2020 16:03

Yes that would be lovely. Unfortunately i am having to move from a terrace to a flat 😕

duckme · 23/04/2020 16:03

It wasn't so much the noise of other people that used to stress me out, it was the noise our kids made or our dog made when we lived in a semi which did. I was constantly tense and we're not an excessively loud family, just normal noise.
We had to buy a wreck of a detached house for us to be able to afford one, but the blood, sweat and many tears of the refurb was worth it in the end. Especially as there are five of us, a dog and a cat in lockdown at the moment.

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