Not really an AIBU but I’m new to Mumsnet- just looking for some advice :)

[butterflylady47]

I have two kids who I love very much and always try to set a good example. Recently, I’ve been feeling a lot of guilt about a particular time from when I was a kid. I was about aged ten (or perhaps younger than that), and I was going to a five days holiday camp. During this week, I made friends with a girl. I think she had a crush on this guy called William because she would always try to involve him in our group. Now of course I realise that I acted appallingly, but back then I wanted her to be my friend and my friend alone. So for those days I tried to get her to hang out with just me, and teasingly called him the nickname ‘Willy’ (I mostly said it to my friend behind his back, I cannot remember if I said it to his face or not.) My friend gently told me not to say it once, I don’t recall him saying anything or complaining. I just feel really guilty about it now- was it bullying? I have no contact with him now of course because it was only a 5 day camp and it’s been many, many years since, and I have no idea how to make things better, other than trying to teach the importance of compassion to my own children. Any advice?

Let it go!

Omg there is literally so many other things to be worrying about right now. Is this a joke?

You were a child so move on, forget it, job done.

My advice is: let it go. You can do nothing to change your past behaviour, and if you got in touch with these people to apologise I think they’d think you were a bit touched.

I very much doubt William or his admirer even remember this incident. If your username reflects your age, you're talking about nearly 40 years ago.

Did you run through a field of wheat as well op ?

Do you have anxiety? Feeling so guilty about a fairly innocuous event that happened many years ago is not normal and you might need to work on not worrying so much about things that cannot be changed.

I have a tendency to remember incidents like this, from my past, and to give myself a hard time for them, so I know exactly where you are coming from, @butterflylady47.

But you need to remember what I tell myself (eventually, of course - once I have overthought things and beaten myself up for them, just as you are doing now) - you are only human. We all make mistakes - what matters is that we learn from them and grow.

In my opinion, the fact that you are worried about this incident from your past makes it clear that you have grown and changed since then. You are a good person, doing their best to be a good role model.

So you need to forgive yourself, and move on with your life.

Hi, thank you so much everyone. It seems it really is all in my head! I can’t stop myself spiralling- what if this led to him developing depression, or having signification mental health conditions, which then led to... etc. I think I need to take some time to reflect and try and just move on from this. By the way I’m not actually 47 but everyone’s points are still true and reasonable, as those involved are very unlikely to remember anything. Just what I needed to hear. Thank you.
Also @queenqueenqueen* I understand that this seems like such a trivial issue at the moment- and I know that Coronavirus is a much more pressing concern, especially for the brave heroes on the front line. I do not at all mean to demean people working hard and people who are suffering.

I was in University Halls with a very lovely guy who was extremely happy to be called Willie. That was, indeed, his preferred name.