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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if anyone else is actually home schooling their kids?

208 replies

candyflossicecream · 23/04/2020 01:38

I feel like the only one! People keep telling me "oh they'll catch up" "have some fun" i'm trying my hardest to keep them on track, entertained and keep them away from the tv, devices, etc.
Ps. We are having fun. I just keep getting made to feel like an arsehole for teaching my kids things and it's disheartening 😔

OP posts:
SueEllenMishke · 23/04/2020 08:13

We're struggling tbh. We're both WFH full time and busier than ever.
We're managing about an hour a day but he's only 5 I think that's okay.
In some countries he wouldn't even be in school yet.

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 23/04/2020 08:16

@oncemorewithfeeling99 Why assume we’re leaping into school teacher mode? Our dc get plenty of love and connection andwhat not WHILE they’re learning. Lots of schools are providing work and there are plenty of sites to get worksheets etc. It’s not easy but I think it’s a bit extreme to say scrap all formal learning if you’re wfh. Frankly from some of the posts I’ve seen on MN and talking to a few people in RL, I think the last thing some parents need is to be handed the excuse to not bother because a teacher on Mumsnet said it’s fine Hmm!

Blackbear19 · 23/04/2020 08:17

I've been trying to keep up with the Maths and English and a bit of handwriting.

Anything beyond that is a bonus. Circumstances just don't make it easy and I'm sure the schools will need to go over everything anyway.

Umnoway · 23/04/2020 08:19

We do a 9-3 school day and I’m quite stringent with it. I am a teacher though so the importance of education is not lost on me. I worry for children who are currently having zero educational input.

Umnoway · 23/04/2020 08:20

Oh and I should say that any child aged five and under does not need such stringent input, they mostly learn through play at that age. My DC are KS2 so they need the structure.

ACupOfTeaSolvesEverything · 23/04/2020 08:21

Yes we are. I’m being guilted left right and centre by people telling me not too, Facebook posts saying just to relax and play. Have loving family time and don’t force them to learn. Intimating that keeping up with learning is not loving, authoritarian and stressful.

Well. My kid likes learning. He wants to do the work his teacher has sent and we add in some stuff of our own. He is 8 with slight SEN and in Year 4 in a mainstream school.

Our day goes Maths, English, break, Art, PE, lunch, reading, Science/Geography. We are taking the opportunity to work on the area he struggles with (spelling). Once a week he has an online Maths class ahead of his grade level (he excels in Maths). He chose this class out of all the online classes available. He could have learned to beat box or done Lego challenges. He chose maths. He has been taking a class of his choice once a week for about a year as an extra curricular activity.)

He’s happy with our routine. It’s not all dry worksheets - yesterday we were creating static electricity, Monday we were spelling words using play doh and today we will be building snap circuits. We also go for bike rides, play in the garden, cook, cuddle, play board games (if I’ve played monopoly once in the last month I’ve played it 100 times Grin) etc etc

I am self employed and have lost most of my work so I have time to do this. DS is also an only child. I understand many people don’t have the time. I understand many people don’t want to do this or can’t. I understand that not doing the work is the right choice for some people. But it seems there is not much understanding out there that for some, like us, doing the work is the right thing. We did none in the Easter holidays and DS is visibly more settled now we are back at it.

Just wish I could cop a bit less flack for our choices. I rarely hear a voice of support amongst all the shouts of “don’t bother, learning will damage his mental health”

ACupOfTeaSolvesEverything · 23/04/2020 08:21

Ooh that might have been a bit ranty, sorry

CigarsofthePharoahs · 23/04/2020 08:22

We're managing some. Helps DH is furloughed as we can divide and conquer as ds1 gets very easily distracted.
I asked both my children at the beginning of this to pick one thing they really wanted to learn about and we've been doing that as a sort of special project which has worked well. Ds1 picked the space program so we've done the space race, the Apollo program and now we're on to the voyagers.
Ds2 picked the human skeleton. He's six so I'm really having to think about how to use words he understands. He's enjoyed it though - mostly!
It's his teacher I feel sorry for. He's going to have a look through ds2's work and there'll be all these bone pictures!

Ellisandra · 23/04/2020 08:22

I am. WFH, one Y6 child who is able and compliant. Almost nothing sent from school. Full timetable set by me, lots to cater to her interests - art every day! - but also quite a strong ‘academic’ focus. Maths workbook every day, reading comprehensions, French on Duolingo, lots of written topic work...

I’m on a village WhatsApp group for parents - every single post is pictures of crafts or baking. Lots of, “oh that’s lovely, thanks for sharing, clever boy.” Which is lovely! But the one time I posted something more academic (there’d been an earthquake in the US and I suggested linking it with the school’s geography page on volcanoes and earthquakes) - tumbleweed Grin

Our timetable suits us. My Y6 is interested, occupied and is progressing. Lots of her friends also have parent-written timetables. But other friends are doing nothing.

Macncheeseballs · 23/04/2020 08:23

Mine do the google classroom work set by the school which doesn't take as long as work does at school because there are no interruptions by kids who dont want to learn.

ChloeDecker · 23/04/2020 08:26

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe

In fairness, oncemorewirhfeeling99 is directly responding to posters on this thread who have expressed genuine stress and guilt. It may well help in those circumstances to take a step back and acknowledge that the love and connection is very important right now and for Primary children (which she was referring to) it is perfectly valid to not worry so much about ‘what stage phonics’ but to do some other skills based learning that doesn’t resort into arguments, frustrations and general bad feeling (there is even another thread on that very topic)

If you don’t want to do that of course that is fine and it is fine if it is working well in a household but it is also perfectly true that it will be fine if a child isn’t doing school work many hours a day and instead, enjoys a calmer household for a bit.

candyflossicecream · 23/04/2020 08:28

I feel much better knowing more are doing it. It really is important for my two. Dd1 has SEN with global delay of about 5 years so can't really afford to drop any further behind, and always suffers going back after holidays never mind this. Dd2 although NT is very much thirsty for knowledge and is literally constantly asking questions. They really do need structured lessons and it only taking 2 hours out of our days.

OP posts:
CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 23/04/2020 08:32

@ChloeDecker My response was to that posters And if all the adults are mostly working from home, my advice would be to scrap all formal learning which in my opinion is ridiculously extreme for most parents.

Tulipstulips · 23/04/2020 08:33

We're doing our best. DS is only in reception, so it's mostly a case of practising reading and maths. He's very resistant to writing practice though - and we're both working as well, so it's difficult to find the time. It's proving pretty stressful. Even the "fun" crafty things his teachers suggest are difficult - mainly because of time contraints, but also because I'm really not very crafty myself and hate doing it, and we dont have much crafty stuff at home to use as DS has never been into it much really. He just wants to play with his Lego and trains, and run around in the garden.

ChloeDecker · 23/04/2020 08:33

Just wish I could cop a bit less flack for our choices. I rarely hear a voice of support amongst all the shouts of “don’t bother, learning will damage his mental health”

You’re not getting any flak and I think it is wonderful that you have found a way that is working so well for you and your children.

The messages that you are referring to and I am guilty of that are aimed not at you. They are aimed at families who have been struggling doing what you do and it’s causing fights, shouting, clashes and added stress in those cases. Not everyone has NT children for example or the equipment, or time or willing children . Therefore, those messages are to help reach out them those households.

I do genuinely think you are doing a wonderful job and I am sorry a side effect of those messages are causing you to feel guilty. You really don’t need to feel that way and probably just need to scroll on by.

Well done to all the parents on here, doing their best they can in such unprecedented times.

Fluffybutter · 23/04/2020 08:35

I have been.
We started off when the schools shut and did every subject for 2 weeks then had the Easter hols off but now I’m just concentrating on maths and English as think they’re the most important.
‘Apparently’ lots of friends on my fb have full on timetables and practically do a whole school day 9-3!
Sorry but I work and I’m also not a teacher so that’s not gonna happen here !

PlugUgly1980 · 23/04/2020 08:35

Mine are 4 (pre-school) and 6. School have suggested some work for both of them. I'm not worrying much about my 4 year old, we do a bit of counting, practise writing his name, read a book together at bed time, arts and craft type stuff or baking, loads of Lego, etc.

My 6 year old plays nearly all day, then late afternoon most week days she reads a book (e-book from Oxford reading owl), we practise some of her spellings school have set, she does some online 'games' / activities school have set, and then we practise counting in 2's, 5's, 10's etc in the shower, might look for shapes on a walk, etc but nothing planned or structured. She's also done stuff like write a letter to a friend, make up a story, lots of arts and crafts, junk modelling etc. which she doesn't see as 'school work'. So we're not doing anything timetabled or too structured but doing some of the basics as part of our day. DH and I are both still working full time in theory, but flexing our hours so we can take it in turns to look after the kids whilst the other works.

Vanillaradio · 23/04/2020 08:35

We're trying to. It helps that I work 3 days a week and at the moment dh is only having to go in 1 day a week which is rotaed for one of my non working days and given little else to do (this may change in which case things will get more difficult). It also makes it easier that when left to his own devices ds will voluntarily either sit and read or do a maths workbook!
Ds is in year 1. We start with Joe Wicks then the school has sent daily power point presentations in Phonics, Literacy and topic (Geography at the moment) which we work through and also given White Rose Maths which ds whizzes through. School also subscribes to Mathletics, Numbots, and Maths/Spelling Shed.Ds considers these to be fun computer games and happily does them ! We also do lego, board games and play in the garden.

ChloeDecker · 23/04/2020 08:36

My response was to that posters And if all the adults are mostly working from home, my advice would be to scrap all formal learning which in my opinion is ridiculously extreme for most parents

Yes but you need to read her two back to back lengthy posts in full, where that came from, to get the context in which that was a fit.

LoisLittsLover · 23/04/2020 08:41

Yes I am doing the activities eet by the school as well as adapting them as they often aren't challenging enough for dd (reception). It this goes on fo much longer I am concerned that the gap across the class will only get wider and the challenge for the teachers will be huge when they return in terms of both reassessing where each child is and trying to address it. I wonder if there will be some merit in ignoring chronological age and putting the children in ability groups for tjr last term of year (if they go back before September)

ACupOfTeaSolvesEverything · 23/04/2020 08:42

ChloeDecker I have literally had flack. I’ve had direct criticism by people I know. “Not everyone has NT children”? I know. I did mention that DS has SEN.
I’m very much an “each to their own” kind of girl but not everyone feels that way and I’ve been on the receiving end for choosing to educate my child.

DCIRozHuntley · 23/04/2020 08:43

I'm not home schooling (as in using the school / twinkl resources) as my kids are young (year 3 and below) and it's been a relief to shrug off the worksheets and Oxford Reading Tree. For me, those things were always the price I paid for the social and cultural aspects of being at school.

That said, they have learnt things daily. How to use an index in an Atlas, baking and writing up recipes, Lego challenges, singing and music. Plus lots of free play while I try and do my work, and probably 4 hours of TV a day (always including a film).

foamrolling · 23/04/2020 08:46

We're doing the work set by the school but we're lucky because 2 out of my 3 kids are old enough to do that entirely independently. We are both working from home but I'm usually done by 4 which leaves time to supervise the 3rd child to do her work for a couple of hours.

Everyone's circumstances are so different at the moment. One person's best effort at home schooling is going to look very different to another's. I think it's important we do our best - whatever that looks like.

Ellisandra · 23/04/2020 08:46

@Fluffybutter why ‘apparently’ ? My Y6 has a 09:00-15:30 timetable. As do a number of her classmates, though by far not all.

grumpyfuckerr · 23/04/2020 08:47

Hell no. They’re both doing work set by the school, I don’t do a single thing. My 15yo in particular would think I’ve lost my mind if I tried to teach her anything, seeing as I flunked out of year 10 myself. 🤷‍♀️

I’m not a teacher, and I don’t pretend to be one. There was a mum on my local FB page the other day ranting about how home schooling was best, how good all her lesson plans were, and anyone who sent their kids to school were idiots. In her rant she had misused ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ several times. If you’re going to teach your kids the wrong stuff, you may as well not teach them at all.