Friend is down and using me to vent and moan quite a bit

[squeakandknock]

I can't tell her to stop because I love her so I thought I would vent and moan myself, here, where it's safe.

I'm now replying in an upbeat manner but in the same subject area as the original text, to try and lighten the mood slightly.

Any more advice? Please!

Buy her one of those journals to write down her feelings?

Rather than try and be upbeat can you just say ‘that sounds really difficult, I’m sorry’ if similar? Less energy needed from you and probably more what she wants to hear if she isn’t having a great time.
And it’s great to be a supportive ear to a friend in need, but if she only ever talks to you when she wants a moan/doesn’t do the same for you then you’re not a bad friend for pushing back.

My close friend is the same. However, I think she was always self-absorbed, a fact that I chose to ignore. To be fair, she's really anxious about the virus, and is convinced on a daily basis that she has the symptoms. Her kids are with their father, as she's not in the right headspace to have them. She has moved into a friend's (empty) luxury home for a break and change of scene. She phones me daily about the virus, but I'm on my own with my 3, and trying to get through all the homeschooling etc. Some of her contacts are ignoring her calls, as she does the rounds of them every day. I've tried telling her gently that it does no good to fixate, but bless her, she just can't help it. Maybe I sound judgey and unsupportive, but do you know what, I'm now tired of being the counsellor in our one-way friendship

Why not vent and moan back at her too? I find people who expect you to be a listening ear often vanish at the first demand for reciprocal support. Then you don't have to be their doormat anymore. Very liberating. And if they do listen and support you too, then you know you have a genuinely good friend who is going through a hard time and deserves the effort.

Acknowledge how she feels, rather than try to cheer her up.
Then have a moan of your own back at her.

Oh I do acknowledge definitely, I don't dismiss but then I try and move on a little bit. I would do that if the issues were big but it's moaning about neighbours being slightly annoying etc

She's a good friend but I think she's up against it at the moment and needs a venting board

'Got a headache, talk later' is my go to.