To think my neighbours are arseholes?

[enchantedspleen]

I'm furious. I lost my sister (biologically cousin but brought up very close together, especially after she lost her parents and brother) and she died in hospital all alone without us from covid. Her funeral will be on the 28th and no-one can go. We are absolutely heartbroken.

My mother also works for the NHS and has several colleagues hospitalised from covid. She is suffering from severe anxiety right now and often comes to visit, albeit at the end of the driveway and talks there while I and my husband stay at the other end. There is always at least 8 feet between us at any one time.

My neighbours meanwhile are just... constantly have people over. Their kids play with each other, talking on the doorstep, people in and out, sunbathing together in the garden. I don't mean to be a curtain twitched, but when I see/hear it, I just feel so upset and angry. Especially when they religiously do the nhs clap every week. I feel like shaking them, do they want this heartache???
I can't even hug my mother who was on my doorstep in floods of tears and here they are just acting like it's all a joke, and then clapping?!

I won't say anything to anyone, I'm not a grass and I won't confront them because my husband let his parents into our garden once (I wasn't pleased at all about that, I don't mind driveway in fact I want to see them I dearly miss them but the garden was too close imo) and I feel like a hypocrite for that reason but I can't help but feel furious.

I'm trying so hard to do everything correctly, I check on the oldies in the street, I've forgotten what the inside of a shop looks like. I'm due in 2 weeks and it's breaking my heart that my family won't hold our baby for weeks, if not months and they're next door acting like it's the 6 weeks holiday.

AIBU?

Yanbu to feel so distressed at all.
People generally think no further than their own bubble.

Your neighbours are selfish arses, how on earth can they clap for the NHS when they are risking the lives of the NHS staff by their behaviour, no idea how they justify that to themselves.

Immediate family can go to funerals unless they are self isolating. So e funerals/crematoriums are using video links, have you looked into that?

@chloemol No-one in our family is going, I asked my mum who's organised it and she said no-one is to attend. My uncle also has agreed. I asked about possibly watching it via video link too but she said the funeral home didn't mention anything so she didn't arrange for it.

We're holding a late family memorial service next year for her instead. I wish I could have been more involved in this otherwise we could have had a video to watch at least.

I am so sorry for your loss and your poor mum. We have neighbours opposite and next door but one who do exactly the same. One of them has a young baby and the others lost a child who was about 4yr old about 2 years ago. You would think they would do everything possible to protect the kids they've got left. They all clap enthusiastically too. I work in a small supermarket and have no choice but to work and seeing this bunch every time I come home is stressing me out. Some might say mind your own business but it is my business. Sorry rant over.

I asked my mum who's organised it and she said no-one is to attend. My uncle also has agreed.
Funerals can be attended by direct family as a minimum.
It sounds like your Mum decided no one could attend the funeral and your uncle agreed with her. Is it perhaps that your Mum made the decision to pay for a direct cremation on grounds of cost? That is the only way I know that family cannot attend a funeral.