Getting a bit paranoid about colleague

[Sarah510]

We are supposed to be working together, but she never or very rarely contacts me, but when we have team meetings she tells everyone what she has been doing - stuff we are supposed to do together. I contact her at least a couple of times a day to try and 'collaborate' but she just responds very briefly. We used to get on well in the office, or so I thought, maybe it was because I could initiate discussions but now I feel like I'm "bothering" her, but I cant just leave it cos then I don't have a clue what she's doing, or what I should be doing. Am only in the job 5 months so still learning.

You should probably talk to her and politely express your worries - like you did here

It just happened again! Yesterday I asked her a question about something, and she replied with 1 line - "I'm not sure - ask IT". Then this morning after I emailed the team leader with the problem, and got in touch with IT, and emailed all the team the 'answer' she emails everyone with the answer I was looking for, basically repeating what I had found out - which took me about an hour to sort out. She wouldn't tell me yesterday, but then suddenly she DOES know the answer. I don't think I'm paranoid - I think she is trying to make me look stupid.

Have you posted about this person before OP? I remember seeing something similar to this.
Is there anyone you can go to to raise your concerns?

What's your line manager like? That example of "Ask IT" and then coming up with the answer herself is a great example of someone who can't work well with others. I'd speak to your line manager about her.

It does sound annoying OP. Is there a clear separation of the work you're meant to be doing and the work she's meant to be doing?

In what way are you supposed to be 'working together'? Do you have your own workloads?

I can see where you're coming from but maybe she just wants to shut herself away or she just doesn't have time for lengthy emails or chatty stuff - you don't know what else she's go going on outside of work.

If it's the case that you need her to set your work, maybe ask to set up a specific time for you to ask her stuff, or that she will set your work for the following day at the end of the previous day?

Is it possible you could call her rather than email? Some people are a bit more brisk than they intend to be over email

It sounds like she's decided you should know what's what & she wants you to be fairly independent of her within your joint remit, but unless there's a clear list of duties you each are responsible for that's hard. Have you got a clear job description? Have you been adequately trained on what the role requires knowledge wise? If not speak to your & her manager & if they're iffy or useless , then HR. If you're working on 'your' part of the work, then you just need a 10min catch up with her once a week re progress or issues.

I would either speak to line manager or clearly separate your tasks so that it's obvious who is doing what. It depends whether you can do that easily or not. Just say you are finding it difficult to communicate with her as she is not responding. Use the example you've given us.

It's impossible to know what kind of pressures people are working under right now. With one DC to home educate, DH's F/T job balanced with my F/T job, and between us the house to clean and every meal to cook every day, I'm finding things even more pressured than I did at work, and that's accounting for a 3 hour a day commute. I also have a researcher working closely under my direction, but am easily able to monitor that via whatsapp and a shared dropbox file showing exactly what work has been done. Is such an approach possible for you, under clear direction from your line manager?

The bulk of my job at present seems to be managing people's anxieties, understandably to a far greater extent than usual. One group in particular has checked out of online interaction (timetabled and prescheduled) and are preferring to contact me individually by email, rather than using channels like a discussion forum where I can manage them more easily and respond in bulk to more people. I'm outwardly showing every patience as I know this is an anxious time for them. There's no mistaking, though, that it's making my job a million times harder: one person has emailed me at least 17 times during the last two working weeks. It's hard to remain patient and professional when you're being harangued like this; I'm not saying this is what you're doing, but bearing in mind the level of her email traffic and the number of directions is may be coming from, it's possible she could also feel like this.

Agree with PPs that a clear separation of tasks and transparent instructions from your line manager is what's necessary here. But this is a line manager issue, not (from the sounds of it) one that's about your colleague.

thanks - yes I did post about this before. Had a meeting this afternoon with external people too, and I think the problem is the team leader, and the boss leader. I think maybe my colleague is fed up me asking her questions as the team leader is responsible for 'training me'' but is quite unapproachable, and the boss has made it clear in 2 meetings, that me and colleague are to work independently 'as a team'. so maybe my colleague is fed up as she feels I should be asking team leader my questions. It's very frustrating. Boss has had 2 meetings where she basically harangued me and colleague (team leader stayed very very quiet), telling us we needed to 'step up' and 'be more responsible' but at the meeting this afternoon - which I set up - boss woman wouldn't let any of us speak, she totally took over, and actually embarrassed herself as she didn't know who the people were, she didn't know the details of the meeting (I was the one who set it all up). Very frustrating. Guess it's just the kind of job where I do what I can and leave it there. Maybe my colleague has had this experience too and is fed up and taking it out on me to 'show' the team leader she's not doing her job properly. Some very weird vibes.

I have a colleague who does stuff like this - she’s trying to prove she’s the most important/hardest working person in the department, everyone, including the bosses, sees through it.