To think 4 is too young to play on the road alone?

[SMarie123]

Cat what age would you feel comfortable leaving your DC play on a cul de sac without full adult supervision ?

I ask the question because 2 of my neighbours leave their 4 year olds / almost 4 year old unattended outside under the care of a 9 year old. It shocks me because my DC will be 4 in June and I couldn't imagine leaving him outside. He literally has no sense and 9 is too young to watch a 4 year old . Am I too protective?

It is historically normal for older children to care for younger ones when they are out together without an adult. It may not be usual these days, as children have little freedom now, but that doesn't mean it is harmful.

Presumably they know their own children.

I wouldn’t like it, but sure it happened to me as a kid.

One 9 year old looking after a 3 and 4 year old? No way, a sensible 9 year old and a compliant 4 yr old maybe...

4 is ridiculous but I'm sure plenty will be along to tell you it's fine. There is literally no need for a 4 year old to be outside alone.

In the last couple of weeks I've let my 4 nearly 5 year old play in our front garden with her older sister who is 8. I sit in the living room where I can see them at all times. I think it's good to give them a bit of freedom. Perhaps the parents are watching.

We live on a quiet cul de sac, and I today, for the first time ever, let my 6 and a half year old ride his bike out the front on the path, with the front door left open (I was stood at the window watching but he didn’t know)

I have a ten year old and a 5 1/2 year old and it is only now that i am prepared to let the youngest out with his big brother and even then I keep an eye on them. Its not a cul de sac but we are on the part of the street that loops back on itself if that makes sense so no through traffic.

I don’t even leave my four year old in the flat when I take a bin bag out, there is absolutely no way I would let him play out on his own, no matter where we lived and I certainly wouldn’t leave him in the care of a 9 year old.

The 9 year old would never have the 2 4 year olds together. There are a few around 9 that would help but one girl in particular who "looks after the small ones. She is a lovely girl, I would often go to the park with her and my DC but I would never leave them alone with her.

Not that it is really a topic at the moment because of the lockdown but my child is nowhere near being left out on his own... I was wondering if it was us that was unusual or them

Motherofgod2 maybe they are but the kids go pretty far. Personally I try not to leave mine 5 meters away but maybe I am too protective.

No way-back in the day it might have been ok,but now there are too many cars and fewer adults out watching.4 is a baby.

What has "knowing your own children" got to do with anything??

Unless you know your 4 year old is actually a cunningly disguised 12 year old, that is completely meaningless.

My Dc is 5 and we have just started the past 2 weeks letting him play outside alone. I keep the door open and where our house is situated in the scheme I can seen the full street.

Our neighbours are regularly out in their gardens and we all know each other. If you would have asked me this a few weeks ago I would have said 5 is too young but he's seemed to have matured the past few weeks so I decided to take the "risk". I do think it depends on the individual child and area.

I let mine out from 3! BUT I had been sitting on the doorstep for years watching him play before that so I knew that he never went past end of culdesac as instructed and obeyed everything I had taught him. He also played out with the 8-9 year olds who were very protective of him. At 3 I probably looked out the window every one or two minutes. At 4 probably every 3/4 minutes and by 6 maybe every ten minutes. Now at 8 I let him play out for about half an hour without a check.

He’s had a wonderful childhood and I don’t care if people judge me. I’ve never been particularly fearful of the classic kiddie snatcher theory people spout when you say your kids play out as it’s a million to one chance and I can’t ruin his childhood over that. Cars are more likely but I constantly try to teach road safety. Of course if something did happen, I’d never forgive myself but as I said he’s had a great life, which most kids miss out of this days. You have to weigh it up.
Playing out has developed his skill to play with all different ages and the fun they have is 10 fold to anything that goes on indoors under the scrutiny of adults.

That is just plain wrong

My neighbours also let 4 year old out with older siblings who look around 8. I guess it depends on the child and the child looking after them. Wouldn’t dream of letting my 4 year old out, she would be knocked over if a car came around the corner, too busy playing

let mine out from 3! BUT I had been sitting on the doorstep for years watching him play before that so I knew that he never went past end of culdesac as instructed and obeyed everything I had taught him.

That's fucking awful. And I will judge you for it.

You obviously have no idea of child development if your criteria for allowing your child to play out alone is that they obeyed you.

I'm actually flabbergasted that you think allowing your ds to play on the street unsupervised from the age of three gave him a wonderful childhood.
And that not allowing this would have "ruined" it.
Unbelievable.

A 3 year old?!? Jesus wept. I have a 5 year old, I wouldn't let him play out in the street alone. He gets ample other opportunity to play with other children of all age groups at school, the park, in a safe back garden, at the local paddling pool. All whilst being supervised by an adult. He had also had a wonderful childhood, all done without risking his safety.

Not a chance in hell. My daughter turned 4 earlier this month and no, just no. Cars my biggest fear but anything, anything can happen.
To the pp who let their kid out from three, you're a disgrace.

Personally, I think it’s “wrong” to not allow your kids to play out. I sat on a freezing cold doorstep for years so he could play out before he was ready to be unsupervised. My sons played out at two different houses now and I wouldn’t move to a house that wasn’t a culdesac with kids playing out. Where we are now has a green. About 8 kids play out some days or some days just a couple or a few. It amazes me there are other kids on the culdesac that never go out or see the light of day.

It’s my opinion that that is cruel but I wouldn’t voice it as it’s their lives. However I do think the parents should stop lazing inside watching shit TV and get their bums in those doorstops to give the kids a good life. Horses for courses I suppose.

Like I said - I don’t give a shut what you think. We are really happy. Life is good.

Dd is 4. Before lockdown I had started to let her out the front to play. She would go round the cul-de-sac with her scooter or dolls pram. The older kids would play with her and I could see her all the time.
Since lockdown she is back in the back garden as she would want to play with the other kids if she was out the front.

Really not OK. Nine is still a child and four is barely older than a toddler.

My four year old doesn’t play outside without adult supervision as I’m not neglectful. Neglecting your childs safety isn’t a wonderful childhood.

When I was a teen a four year old little boy was run over and killed, sadly everyone on the estate knew who it would be before he was named in the press as his parents allowed him to play out on his own.