3 year old won’t eat proper meals

[Serenjoan17]

Ok so I’m really struggling with my daughter, she’s just turned 3 but is a nightmare to feed, her diet literally consists of.. toast, cereal, yoghurt, fruit, cheese, kids lentil crisp things, fish fingers (if I’m lucky) and cereal bars, water and milk at bedtime. At meal times she throws a fit if I try and get her to eat a proper meal, won’t even try anything to the point where she will just leave the table if I ask her to eat. I’ve tried letting her eat from my plate (she won’t) eating in different rooms, and different presentation of food to make it fun, colourful, different plates etc What can I do ??

Dd was an incredibly picky eater. Now at 13, still not that great an eater but muuuuuch better. I can't complain really

My daughter is two & has always been quite a fussy eater but used to eat well at nursery (perhaps influenced by the other children). That has all gone to pot now she’s at home the whole time. No real advice. We have always tried sneaking extra foods in but she also notices and rejects them. I just try to relax & not let it bother me. @Brogley- thanks, your comment is super helpful & very reassuring!

Kids at that age are starting to want to exercise control. The more you fuss and pressure the more they’re likely to dig their heels in. You need to pretend that you don’t particularly care whether they eat what you’re serving or not. That’s probably the reason why some of the little darlings eat what’s in front of them at nursery, plus they see all their little chums doing the same

I hear you. My two year old is fussy and had a very repetitive diet. Unless it's at nursery in which case, he'll eat anything 🙄
I was told that as long as they're gaining weight from what they DO eat, have energy and have a multivitamin, they're fine nutrition wise.
We're taking the approach of not offering alternatives, no bribing/cajoling etc, if it doesn't get eaten, wait til snack time, but we always give something that we know will be eaten. We also eat together where possible. It's very rare that DC eats separately from us. I also try and get a lot of veg in where possible - stews, risottos, pasta sauce etc because it won't be eaten separately but it will in something (for my DC).
It's stressful business, I understand how you feel.

@Lucy40ishere glad it helped you. One of my DC sees a dietician and that's the advice she gave us.

@nobody important

For full disclosure dd was later diagnosed autistic and I think that had a lot to do with her eating issues.

Without a doubt, my DD autism was picked up via eating disorders services x

This may or may not be helpful, but I speak from experience, DS is 3.5 and until about 3 months ago was exactly the same - then it's like he magically grew out of it and started eating everything! I put new things in front of him along with what he usually ate and he just got there - but my god I wasted a lot of food!

Have you tried getting her to help you make some simple recipes?

Thank you all, there’s some really helpful and reassuring comments here

Have you tried not letting her snack or eat those things? If she is hungry eat she may eat other things? Did you do baby led weaning?

It doesn’t sound too bad to me, especially as she will eat fruit! DD went through a phase of being a bit fussy but does seem a bit better now. Things that seemed to help (although may just be she grew out of it on her own) -

• no snacking in the day, just 3 meals so she was really hungry
• helping me cook
• trying to avoid the sensations she didn’t like - I realised she didn’t like anything too ‘sloppy’ or saucy, so worked around that

Might just be she grew out of it, I’m not sure. She’s still not a child that will eat anything, but is a lot better!

Mine is the exact same and eats very similar to this! I get so worked up about her diet, it's very frustrating.. you aren't alone! Xx

No snacks. Tempting pudding on side. Walk child into ground. My child at 3 and a half walks 5 miles.

Please can you delete the above post as my daughter posted it somehow. Good luck op it is really hard.

I think you have to decide whether you prefer she grazes all day on yoghurt cereal bar milk toast etc or if you’re determined to make her sit at table and eat 3 meals a day? Trying to do a combo of both is going to stress you both out.
You could try ever so slightly altering the foods she is familiar with to phase out the limitations of her preferences.

Sit down together, eats the same food as you. She doesn't have to eat it but there isn't an alternative. Don't feed in to the drama, talk around the table, chat, yours is delicious etc. No praise or punishment. Give her a ten minute warning before her plate will be taken away.

My son is like this at 4.6yo. Used to be a great eater when he was younger but now there's relatively few things he's guaranteed to eat. I just give him what I know he will eat along with something new/something he's refused before, plus a couple of multivitamins every day and hope for the best.

My three year old is a bit like that. He loves fruit, chips, chicken, pasta, yogurt, milk and obviously anything sweet but other than that he's not too bothered. Every now and then he will try a vegetable. I put what I want him to eat in front of him at dinner, if he eats it great, if not thats not a problem but he doesn't get anything different. I think it sometimea suprising how little 3 year olds can eat but still have so much energy and put on weight/grow.

ASundayWellSpent Lovely philosophy

It's because she's 3. My 3 year old only ate pouches for 6 weeks solidly. I felt like I cooked food to feee the bin! She's 10 now and her favourite food is sushi!!!

We used to have battles over this and then something clicked in my head and I tried to stop making it an issue.

I now let DS help cook. He sits on the worktop (sorry mum!) and passes me things. He gets lots of things to sniff and taste as we are cooking. If he won’t eat something quite often after a few goes of just sniffling it he will taste it and then he will try it

He gets whatever we are eating (unless it’s spicy) and if he doesn’t eat it we just leave him to it. If he really doesn’t eat he gets a weetabix before bed.

I still find myself getting frustrated when it’s something that I know he will like, but he won’t try, but I really try and not make it a battle of wills.

I'm having the same thing right now! 3 yo DD used to eat everything but has recently become picky. I think someone is the only control they have at that age.

I think you're doing the right thing and you DD is, healthy, so try not to stress over it. I'm sure she'll expand what she's wiling to try in her own time.

Also, please don't worry about nursery! It's amazing what children will do for another adult who is not Mummy/Daddy and peer pressure/conformity definitely plays a part. I'm happiest about my daughter's eating on nursery days as I know she'll eat well and have things she would never agree to at home!

I think its important to choose your battles and work with what you know they will eat. DS used to love cottage pie but now won't eat that or any casserole kind of dish so I have stopped even giving him any of those type of meals. He wont eat veg on the side of a meal either.
He 5will eat lots of Italian dishes and those are easy for me to get lots of veg into so he tends to have lasagnes, ravioli, pasta roll ups, pizza chicken kiev, sweet pots, homemade pizza etc. He will also eat creamy pot bake with again lots of veg cooked in. He doesn't like fish fingers but loves chicken kievs, likes beans but only on a jacket pot, likes cod but only mashed in a butter or cheese sauce. He wont eat rice or some kinds of pasta and is funny with certain textures. It is about playing around and seeing of there is a different form they will eat things in too as ot can be texture and not always taste.