No school work during lockdown ?

[mononospoke]

Is it unreasonable for a 9 year old not to do any school work during lockdown ?
If they simply reuse ?
Doing other things like playing in garden/baking/drawing etc...but won't do school work

My son refuses to do things all the time. He is 8. He has no diagnosed SEN as he has always behaved pretty well at school. He hits/kicks/throws things when he doesn't get what he wants. He can't occupy himself at all except with a screen or an audiobook (this is new and an improvement!)

His brother is parented exactly the same and has none of the same issues.

Both of mine are getting work done - about a couple of hours over the course of the day but this includes Science and Art stuff on the afternoon and reading. The eldest, who can be very very anxious and confrontational has come into her own when I just put her on the school learning software thing and left her to choose what she does on it - that, coupled with the kitchen timer enforcing it has led to a couple of very peaceful settled days. She feels she's in control over it - and if they fart about on the morning stuff we don't get to do craft and science in the afternoon.

Our school has a whole daily schedule and is now doing live lessons.

8.15-215 every day. My daughter is 6.

Have you heard of PDA? Children can refuse no matter what their parents have read up on or how much they try to parent.

Yes. But I'm not assuming that the OP's child has a myriad of other additional needs as well. OP's child could be non-verbal, have paraplegia, be severely autistic. But I'm assuming she might have mentioned that.

Of course there are children who can't do what is being asked. There are many more parents who don't have the skills to facilitate it. I'm just suggesting parents try to acquire some. It can be learned.

And my DD has moderately severe ADHD. So it's not been a walk in the park for me. I'm in contact with another mum whose son has the exact same diagnosis. He's currently not doing anything, no exercise, no bedtime, no rules, no school work. And she's not working so actually has time, unlike my house where we are juggling key worker jobs as well.

Just because two children have the same diagnosis doesn’t mean they will respond in the same way to the same things though.

If what your doing works for you brilliant but don’t judge those who are coping in a different way

Meh. I have a seven year old and am working from home full time. It’s just me. So she’s keeping up with some numbers and reading and some project work the school have set. That’s it. That’s all I can manage and I refuse to feel stressed about it. She’ll catch up, she loves school she just hates being schooled by me.

Have you tried giving him/her choices? My son (7) refused to read this morning (lay on the floor and point blank refused to pick up his book). Rather than fight him, I told him we would read later and did he want to do maths challenges or write a story. He chose the maths and got off the Floor.

I suppose you could say he won, but it didn’t really matter to me what order he did the work in as long as he got up and did it!

Is there anything he does like? Baking etc? Could you turn the weights for the cakes into maths and get him to work stealthy to start with?

If what your doing works for you brilliant but don’t judge those who are coping in a different way

The issue is her choices affect everyone else as well. Her neighbours are going through hell, her older daughter is suffering, the class is disrupted and her son bullies my daughter and others. I don't judge that she hasn't the resources or the skills. I do judge that she doesn't try and LOLs at suggestions that's might help.

😂 at anyone who suggests that decent food, a proper nights sleep, boundaries and expectations and a calm affect might help. She screams at him and he swears back. They aren't coping.

My 11 year old is being a nightmare. His teacher phoned last week asking how he's getting on. They don't expect much from him 20 mins here and there of work.

This isn't the same as a 9 year old refusing to do homework though. These are unsettling and challenging times for children and parents and we have had a 2 week holiday in between. If a parent is also working from home full time they don't necessarily have the time or energy to continue to cajole their child into doing set work as well as have the important exercise, family and downtime that everyone is telling us is crucial for our wellbeing.

BBC Bitesize Daily is quite good, even if it is just to go over old ground. Is this something he would watch? There are many online maths/spelling apps which often don't feel like learning that you could sign up to.

Nope, it’s perfectly fine. What is a “full school day” at that age anyway? Your DC will be used to being one of 30 in a class, won’t be receiving one to one attention. Boil it all down and you get probably 2 hours maximum learning a day. Maybe one hour.

I’ve been homeschooling my children for a lot longer than most and know how much time is productive (I am in touch with full time homeschoolers).

The skills they learn at home are valuable. Every day is a school day, even during school holidays.

I do think that many people have no parenting skills. It's very strange

I’m a single parent after an abusive relationship and I really struggle to get my sons to listen to me

It’s drives me to despair

And now I am in a foul mood

I wish I could make them

I really do

@zgaze this is a great response and very encouraging from a teacher with children the same age as OP.

The official term for none-school learning is unschooling. Child-led learning. Either of those will pull up lots of information if you’re worried. I understand that this is a very unusual circumstance and that as children who usually go to school with peers, there is an element of “keeping-up” with other children. There’s lots of learning in life though. Lots of strength to be found in building relationships at home right now, which is going to be very difficult for you if there’s constantly a conflict about school work.

Our children are younger, but the principle remains the same - if the environment is encouraging children will learn. For those who read this far or who are curious this blog post goes in to more detail. No curriculum involved - books and life and enthusiasm mostly! livelearntogether.co.uk/31-ways-we-make-homeschool-work-for-us/

DH and I are both full time key workers, working from home. We're both very very busy. Our DC are 6 and 8 and they aren't really doing anything. We know that we're not the only ones and neither will you be OP. Plenty if children will get back to school having done very little for all sorts of reasons. So long as my children are happy and healthy at the end of all this I'll count it as a win - they're playing outside and doing some "educational" stuff but nothing formal. Its the best I can do during this and I don't think they'll be disadvantaged in the long term

My 9 wouldn’t dare ‘refuse’ to do something we told him to do so YABU. Get a grip.
A bit of English, maths,science is entirely reasonable each day then all then’fun’ stuff.
You aren’t doing your kid any favours letting him rule the roost. How will he settle back into any kind of structure after months off if you just let him fart about all day?

I think it’s unreasonable

Dd is 12 and does 4 hours of learning per day and only just a managed the workload the school sends her

Your schools sound crap to be honest

Do whatever you feel is right
Learning takes many forms and also it's a stressful time for kids too.

Ps I'm a teacher

And I do have parenting skills. They're just not the kind of skills that will lead me to arguing with anxious children about fractions in the few minutes I have to spend with them during the day. When I do have time to devote to them during the day I'm playing and cuddling and answering questions and I think that's my first priority. If I had more time I might move on to phonics...

How can your own child refuse to do what you ask them to do ?😂 is refuse tv , sweets ,computer etc , we do 2 hours split one in the morning one after lunch +30-1hr online leading via apps and 30-1hr of reading ... My 4 year old who starts school in September does 1hour , a bit.of.reading and definitely an hour on apps the rest of the time they can do as they please unless it's tv all day , we made pizza from scratch , they played a couple of games , did there chores and played in the garden x it's not that difficult to squeeze in a bit of school , if a day off is needed then we will do that but they can't fall behind x

that will lead me to arguing with anxious children about fractions in the few minutes I have to spend with them during the day

If you only have a few minutes, of course. But if there are hours, some of those hours should have structure.

And I don't argue. I nudge, I encourage, I bargain. Fuck I bride. I sympathise I compromise. I don't almost ever argue.

I think it’s absolutely unreasonable for a nine year old to “refuse” to do school work they are told to do. I would then also refuse to let them do anything they like until it’s done.

mine are doing almost full school days. education is important, there is plenty of time still to play in the garden, bake and draw.
if you’re not in education, you need to work, so its cleaning the house etc (not the fun stuff), or school. funnily enough school won.
Both me and husband work as well, or study, so we try to be role models

How about telling him to do a project of his choosing about something he is interested in? He could research the topic and present the information however he likes, could be a video report, animation (stop motion studio app is easy to use and creates stop frame animation), newspaper article, poster, sculpture etc. It may not be the set work but he will be developing independent work skills.

Also, “a full school day” does not mean sitting in front of worksheets all day. that’s not what school does. but it does mean curriculum relevant stuff.

I have resorted to bribery for DD6 as have many parents I know. Not the greatest parenting and I'd love DD to do as told, but I'm not a shoouter, a smacker and am on my own and disabled, so am limited in what I can do in terms of good cop bad cop parenting etc.
A harmonious home is way more important for both our mental health and DD does maths and reading and writing daily. I think if she learns a few times tables along with the above then I'm happy. We also back, grow much of our own food, make our own bread and she has discovered a love of and aptitude for tennis and gymnastics and I'm very happy to nurture these skills along with school work.