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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

At being mildly piqued at new teaching assistants comments in dd's reading record

78 replies

handlemecarefully · 14/09/2007 20:01

Last time she read with the teacher the comment was:
"Fantastic reading"

Dd is struggling with her literacy but usual remarks include the above and phrases such as "Good working out" / "Much improved" or "Good effort"

Today she got (what I felt was a pithy little remark, but I accept I am oversensitive perhaps):

"Guessed a lot of the words. Sounded the words out together. Needs to look carefully at first letter of words"

Ouch!

It seems dd read with the new Teaching Assistant this week (who started work last week).

Good job dd can't read so well, I however can, and felt a bit put out

(I think I have baggage, lol - especially since the TA has a rather bright dd in the same class as my child)

Perhaps she could have softened it with "Nevertheless, good effort"

Am rambling now, aren't I

OP posts:

Gobbledigook · 14/09/2007 20:14

FWIW hmc, I know which children are struggling with reading (or were, not read since last year now) but I don't think anything of it! They are all at different stages - it's not a big deal. I know it is to you, but I doubt it's of that much interest to other parents, iyswim?!

gess · 14/09/2007 20:14

Well I never sniffed people's bottoms, but ds1 gets a certain pleasure out of it.

Reading's just decoding. She'll get there, don't project so much onto it.

TellusMater · 14/09/2007 20:15

HMC - it will come. Really. And in no time at all there will be no difference between your child and the fluent reader .

If you had said that to me when ds was finishing reception you would have got a hollow laugh. No he is starting year 2 and he is way ahead.

brimfull · 14/09/2007 20:15

Hmc-you need to swan in front of said parent helper,displaying fabulous artwork/number work whatever done by your talented dd.

od am picturing a french and saunders sketch now and chuckling to myslef

Original poster

handlemecarefully · 14/09/2007 20:16

Ok - I've given myself a good shaking. Normal service restored. Thanks everyone .

Will check in later but am supposed to be going around to my friend's house to share bottle of wine now ...must fly...bit late

OP posts:

bozza · 14/09/2007 20:16

I find it really difficult to put proper constructive comments every time. How do you manage that, tellusmater? (BTW were you somebody else?). I always seem to end up writing something like "DS enjoyed the story" or "Read well", unless I think he should move up a level at which point I put "found it quite/very/extremely easy". Apart from the time I asked DS what I should put and ended up writing "fantastic reading".

Lizzer · 14/09/2007 20:17

HMC, on your question 'do you think its a good idea to have a TA with a child in the class?' abso-bloody-lutely NOT.I did my TA training in dd's school which was ok but I was not allowed to help in her class and wouldn't have wanted to. I think its unfair on the child for a start and impossible for the TA to remove his/her feelings from the child and concentrate on the job in hand.

However I do think I would be happy with constructive comments in my dd's book if they were true...

Flamesparrow · 14/09/2007 20:17

It isn't ideal to be a TA in the same class as the child - apart from anything else it can't do their child much good with mummy being there all day.

My mum was a floating TA (normally did science type things) when I was in junior school, but only once do I remember working with her, they nearly always put me with someone else. We came close to killing each other because I didn't (and still don't really) grasp the concept of water displacement and boats floating

Niecie · 14/09/2007 20:18

I think you are being a little unreasonable. You seemed to have had bland remarks until now but this TA has actually made constructive comments.

Children learning to read are meant to guess words as some just can't be sounded out and also you can get a lot from the context. Also it is good that she is sounding words out not just giving up. The bit about the first letter sounds like a harsh but I think she has actually taken the trouble to say where your DD could improve her reading. I think she is giving you more guidelines on what to look for when you do reading at home with your daughter which can only be a good thing.

You are right though, she could have softened it with good effort or something but then the comments are for you and not your daughter so, as long as she has been encouraging to your daughter you can't really ask for more.

bozza · 14/09/2007 20:26

hmc I think I was in your position this time last year. Your DD is in Y1, isn't she? DS just hadn't quite clicked with readng, and I was wondering why (and darkly suspecting DH of having dominant genes ). But I went into the classroom this morning with an enthusiastic DS who had, unaided, produced a four page story book (with drawings and pictures and a "blurb" on the back) about his own superhero following on from work they did in literacy yesterday. And the teacher asked me if I wrote stories because she wondered where DS got it from. I said no and didn't mention my childhood reading obsession or English degree, but asked where the harder reading books were because DS has been bringing home books that are too easy. So you could easily be in this position in a year's time.

OTOH I caught DS reading Horrid Henry when he had a friend round for tea, despite the fact I have told him several times that he is not to read when he has friends to play because it is rude and they will not want to come again. So now I am worried that he will end up being a nerd with no friends. You can't win.

aintnomountainhighenough · 14/09/2007 21:07

I think you have taken this too personally, but lets face it as a parent we all take comments about our children personally. If we look at the positives here it may help. This TA has got the message over loud and clear, no messing, you know what needs to be worked on. OK she could have put it in flowery language but then the message may have not been received so quickly or effectively although you may be happier. Some of this is about personalities, personally I like this approach - tell me how it is don't beat about the bush.

I have scanned the posts and believe you mentioned something about the new TA being a parent. I am 100% against any parent being involved with a class where they have a child, don't care how difficult this resource is to come by, in the world in which we live today this just isn't on.

Original poster

handlemecarefully · 14/09/2007 23:30

Bozza yes, she is in Year 1 - you've given me some hope!

Thanks for all your comments - I might work up the nerve to have a word with the Head about TA's teaching in their children's classes.....(not personalising this particular case, but as a general principle)

OP posts:

HonoriaGlossop · 14/09/2007 23:37

hmc I agree with you that it's not good practice for the TA to actually be in the same class as her dd.

i think the Head should be perfectly willing to provide an explanation of why it's come about/why they think it's ok. It is fairly unusual and that's why I don't think they'll be all that surprised if you ask about it.

jenkel · 14/09/2007 23:42

Ok, probably get slaughtered here, I am not a TA but have helped in DD's reception class, mainly playing with the kids to allow the teacher to hear the kids read and to help them make pancakes once, and I on one occasion heard some kids read. I have to say my DD is the youngest in the class (by quite a long margin) and easily the worst reader. And I got in quite a panic when I heard all the other kids read and compared that to my dd.

Original poster

handlemecarefully · 14/09/2007 23:51

"And I got in quite a panic when I heard all the other kids read and compared that to my dd."

Exactly jenkel, I tend to panic re my dd in comparison to others (although she is a July birthday and had she be born 6 weeks later would have been starting Year R this September rather than Yr 1)...tis natural I think

OP posts:

Clary · 14/09/2007 23:59

As others say (and you agree I see HM) I think the TA's comment is a lot more helpful than "fantastic reading" if it isn't.

It gives you sthg to work on and it's not as tho she put "goodness me she cannot read at all" or sthg (I'm sure that isn't the case anyway)

Re the TA, our school has a policy of helpers (liek me) not helping in their child's class which I think is eminently reasonable.

However we have a teacher who sometimes taught her own children (she worked with several different classes) - she is so fab tho that I'm sure it was fine.

unknownrebelbang · 15/09/2007 00:00

There is a TA in my sons' school who had no choice but to be in with one or other of her sons some of the time - she had three sons in three different classes at one point, and there's only four classes anyway.

Pan · 15/09/2007 00:01

I did meet with dd's Head this afternoon, about a few things, but to find that a particularly ill-fitting comment, in her work book, was from a dinner lady who dd reads to at break times.....I read it on Wednesday and thought , but it was made a alot clearer after this afternoon...

are dinnerlady's often read-to peeps??

unknownrebelbang · 15/09/2007 00:03

Some of our TAs also work as lunchtime supervisors.

Pan · 15/09/2007 00:07

Right. This was a dinnerlady, lovely women I am told, but not really trained to pass comments like she did in dd's book. Apparently dd wasn't reading fast enough for her...

unknownrebelbang · 15/09/2007 00:15

IME, few parent-helpers/TAs are trained when they first start assisting in class.

It's not the usual sort of comment that's made (but it is the sort of comment that might have been made about DS2 in the past).

Were you satisfied with what the Head said about this?

unknownrebelbang · 15/09/2007 00:16

Didn't mean that - DS2 may have been commented on for dawdling through his reading, rather than not reading fast enough, iykwim.

Pan · 15/09/2007 00:27

yes thank you.

I showed them her book, and they looked at each other a bit flabbergasted, and then said that "training starts tomorrow". dd said to me, "I don't like reading to MrsXXX, she hurries me up". I thought she meant she was a teacher...no idea read-tos could be anyone..

mumeeee · 15/09/2007 18:55

Yes you are. I used to be a parent helperwhen my children were in primary school. I would often listen to children reading and was told by the teacher to record exactly how the child read.

twentypence · 15/09/2007 19:01

"guessed' a lot of the words I would take as a compliment if she was reading a book. means she understands possible words in context and is using the pictures to help.

"Sounded words out" - compliment.

"Needs to..." constructive comment for improvement.

So I don't think it's "ouch" at all.

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