AIBU to expect better?

[Sda06]

Hello?

I’ve posted before as I have had issues with my partner accepting my pregnancy.
It was a surprise to us both but I knew deep down I couldn’t hurt this little being. We have tried to reach a decision together but currently it has proved impossible. For reference I’m 10 weeks + 1 day, we don't live together yet but were planning to be once our tenancies in our individual houses were up.

So last Friday my partner became irritated at me for asking if I could tell my Dad. I've already spoken to my Mum, as he has to his, but I felt it was time to tell my Dad. He became annoyed because he still didn't feel we had come to a decision about the pregnancy despite lots of emotional conversations.

So he decided to go for a walk to get some space which was fine. He was gone for about 2 hours and when he came back he would barely look at me or sit next to me. We made some small talk and he had some food and then finally after about an hour of him sitting on the opposite side of the room to me he said he was going back to his house for a few days to clear his head. I didn't say much and basically had to ask him for a hug goodbye. He said he would let me know when he was coming back.

So he left and hasn't even bothered to text me since to see if I'm ok. And I'm left feeling like I have done something wrong for not wanting a termination, and like I have to choose between our baby and our relationship.

Am I being unreasonable for expecting better behaviour from this man? To not even text me saying good morning or good night? We had a loving relationship before this and by all accounts were hopefully heading towards marriage etc in the future anyway.

I feel devastated to be honest but I'm trying to focus on this little being. I'm hoping he will take his space and come around but it has really hurt me the way he has gone about this.

I'm sorry I think it's clear he doesn't want a child at the moment so you need to make a decision based on the likelihood that you may well be a single parent soon and go from there.

How old are you both?
How long have you been together?

I think you could be looking at being a single.mum if you keep the baby

I agree with PP that it sounds like you want this baby and he doesn't. I think the time apart from him will be good (although painful). Make your decision about the pregnancy under the assumption you'll be going it alone. Good luck OP!

It’s blindly obvious that he doesn’t want a baby.

You need to decide what you want to do , planning on the basis of being a solo parent from day one

You can’t make somebody who doesn’t want a baby want one, and it’s obvious he doesn’t want this one. Imagine if the situation were reversed and you didn’t want to continue the pregnancy whilst he did and was trying to make you excited about having a baby and telling all your family? It would be hard for you to display “better behaviour” in that situation and honestly I think it’s unrealistic to expect anyone, male or female, who doesn’t want an accidental baby to act excited and happy about it.

If you want to continue the pregnancy then it’s your decision; but don’t do so assuming he’ll come around and want to be a family. Prepare to be doing it as a lone parent, work out what his financial contribution will be, but don’t bank on his support in any other way. Tell him that this is how you’ll be proceeding and stop worrying about how he should be feeling.

He doesn't want a baby and while that's shit for you he can't change his feelings. You need to decide what's best for you because you'll most likely be going it alone so don't make your decision based on him.

At least he's shown his true colours now rather than when baby is here. You and baby are better off without him.

I agree with pp. It's either you take the lead, or be messed around until he possibly drifts off.