How is home schooling doing in your house?

[Afternooninthepark]

Because I feel that I am failing big time.
Ds is 14 and hates school at the best of time and dd is 12.
I am trying hard to help them with their work and today we had an email from the school recommending BBC bitesize daily but they are still so disinterested and it is like pulling teeth.
Dh is an essential worker so still out every day working full time so not much back up from him.
I am also helping my mum and dad everyday (as mum has Alzheimer’s and dad struggles) and I also look after a 90 year old lady in our village who has no one and I come back to find the dc haven’t done any work or with very minimal effort. I try sitting with them and go through the stuff but they have no interest.
We are doing things like cooking/baking, walking or cycling once a day etc but the complete lack of interest in anything school/education related is causing me so much stress as I feel I am letting them down.
What can I do to muster up some interest without it becoming an arduous task?
What are you doing with your dc?

It is hard. What works for us is a routine, get up, brush teeth, wash, get dressed, breakfast then learning. After that a walk outside, gardening or trampoline or work out on youtube. Then snack or lunch time then free time, snack, family time, dinner, film or game then bath, teeth and bed.

TL:DR routine and get school learning out of way first.

OP I wouldn't worry too much, many teens will be in the same boat. I think the lessons in cooking etc you are giving them are valuable life skills - they can catch up on school stuff later. You've shown them how to access it if they feel fear they might slip behind, but you can't force someone to learn as effectively as if they want to do it for themselves.

How are people getting all the learning done before lunch? I have two children ages 5 and 8. We start at 10 and I do an hour each with them until 12, then 1 hour lunch then another hour each until 3pm. That's 4 hours a day helping them do work. Sometimes we don't get it all done because they are very slow, and get around 4 subjects a day to complete. 1 ebook book and activity, 1 English lesson, 1 maths lesson and a science or music or something else lesson. I feel a little bombarded by the school with around 4/5 emails arriving by 7am every day and then more extra stuff throughout the day, just incase we want to do more.

cupcake I feel the same with 8yo dd, largely due to the parent's Whatsapp group full of parents claiming their kids do 40mins of reading, 1hr of diary writing as well as the 3 apps, daily worksheets for French, Maths, English and Science EVERY DAY!

Here dd is looking healthier than ever, no bags under eyes, is going to bed at 10pm and not waking until 10am and we do a 3 mile walk every day. Apps we do every other day, at least 1 worksheet a day and a crossword from Collins and we will look at Bitesize tomorrow. We've done lots of art and gardening. I'm not sweating it as teachers will have to catch everyone up and have asked not to teach new topics at all. If your child has something in particular they were struggling with then it's a great time to go over that.

Do the school not complain if you don't complete their set tasks?
I did a task for example but we just spoke it over and the teacher asked us to send evidence in writing that the task was done.
I've had to do lots of bribery to get them to work, it's stressful feeling pressured.
I know exactly what you mean, bed times have gotten later, as have getting up times!
I feel pressured to get the work done or get harassed from the school asking why it's not done.
It's handy that work is through sent via apps and online learning, but I try to keep my kids writing with pens and pencils and then send the work in by email.
I don't like the idea of learning online all the time, maybe I'm old fashioned.
I have relatives to look after, chores, general daily life, 25 hours teaching my kids a week is an inconvenience to be honest.
If it was my own style of learning it wouldn't be so bad but because I'm sent the school work and their way of learning, I find it tedious. Do the teachers sit at home sipping tea most of the day while getting paid, and I feel I'm expected to do 25 hours a week for free.

It's going terribly.

I have a 16 year old who knows that GCSEs are cancelled so doesn't see the point and a 15 year old with SEND who won't be doing exams.

I work (at home currently) in a very full on job so am on zoom from 8.30 till 4 most days without a break and then have to do work which results from this.

I start trying to wake them up at 8, end up having to start work with them still in bed at 9. They wake up about 1 and watch TV / play games till I finish work and then we start with 'homework'.

In the meantime I'm getting loads of emails from schools with 'flexible' tasks which is driving me to the point of breakdown. I spent a couple of weeks, stressed, feeling like a failure, the closest to depression that I've ever been. Not helped by the comparison with other families whose kids seem to do exactly what they're told all the time.

The way that I've dealt with it is to let it go. I cannot teach them alongside my job. I will do my best but I can't do anymore than I'm already doing.

The 16 year old has had 'the talk', if he decides to ignore it, he will deal with the fallout. The 15 year old is much more likely to benefit from life skills so he has jobs that he needs to do.

When the chaos created by this crisis abates I will take some annual leave and we will be able to find a way through but for now and for my sanity I just have to accept what I can do and let go of what I can't.

We're only doing numeracy and literacy for 2/3 hrs a day, same routine 5 days a week.

Then spending the rest of the day baking, doing art and other stuff but under the guise of "fun stuff" even though it's got quite a lot of educational value

Mine are the same ages OP and I also have a key worker partner so it’s just me at home all day.

School is sending work through, the older one is quite good at working their way through it (minimal effort most of the time though) but the 12 year old needs constant coaxing and cajoling (and quite often shouting at) to get them to do anything. It’s exhausting. I’m impressed you’re getting yours out for a walk or bike ride, mine are not interested in that at all and just moan the whole time when I do make them come out.

The baby is cutting molars and waking 5/6 times a night, the four year old is wetting the bed every night and just wants to watch tv all day. I feel like I’m massively failing.

It's the single most difficult thing in my house - I'm working full time and my dd (7) is a very reluctant learner. I sit down with her for 2 hours every morning (have told work I'm not available then) and ds sits with us. It's really tough because I have to try and make it interesting to her, and she really doesn't want to do it! We do all the set lessons in those 2 hours.

The parents what's app group is too stressful for me. It doesn't seem like any of them are working and have all day to do lovely crafty activities.

I am a secondary science teacher so working from home while encouraging my 11, 14 and 16 year old to do something productive. My 14 year old has zero motivation at the best of times so being set chapters from digital textbooks to "make notes and answer questions" is never going to happen. The maths he has been set seems way too hard so I either figure it out myself and teach it him or listen to my 16 year old explaining it whilst they bicker and fight. In summary, it is a nightmare. And in my everyday life, this is supposed to be what I am trained to do!

It is tough. My 11 year old DD takes so long to complete tasks and was doing two hours worth of work for about nine hours yesterday. I don’t want her working all that time but she gets anxious if it doesn’t get it done. I had to ban her from starting on the third of yesterday’s tasks last night at 6pm. I am working in another room so not supervising. I wish I could though because something is not right. It shouldn’t be this hard for her.

Do what you can, that’s all anyone can hope for. If you are struggling email the specific school/teacher and say (nicely!) that for now you are concentrating on XYZ.

We are setting work because that is what we have been asked to do. Some parents and students appreciate the continuity, some parents and students don’t. That’s ok, we are all difgerent. I am not chasing students/families that are not submitting work from me other than an initial email to check they are ok - not asking about work, but checking they are well and have everything they need etc. And perhaps a follow up phone call if necessary or the family asks for it.

Please don’t make sweeping (and frankly) ridiculous statements about us all being sat back drinking tea, it’s not true. We, like you, are still working.

I’m not. I work full time in a high pressure role and I cannot be teacher as well. My 9 year old gets a chore list each morning. She gets herself up and dressed and washed. She makes her bed and does things like putting her own laundry away. I print her out some worksheets from twinkl each day and she sits in my office to do them so I can help her if needed. She won’t do reading/writing ones or word searches (she’s dyslexic and finds them really hard) but she is good at the maths ones.

She also does Lego, craft, plays toys and in her tablet. She comes for an hours walk with me every day with the dog and I try to impart some knowledge of whatever the weeks topic is from school (currently Ancient Greece).
I can’t enforce any school like routine, I just don’t have the time or the patience. I’ve told school I will do my best but that they shouldn’t expect miracles. I’m keeping the evidence of everything she does do any will give it to school at the end if they want it.

Try setting each of them a research project on a topic of their choice - they will naturally end up doing some writing and reading as part of that, and you can then follow up with some maths related tasks related to whatever topic they're doing (such as calculating the height of a volcano, or whatever).

Then get them to do a marketing brochure for something relating to that topic (writing to persuade), then something about the history of it, etc. Maybe script and perform an advert for it on their phones. Or explore genre and make a horror film, a western, etc with props from around the house.

You can go for weeks on the same topic if it's something they're into, or change it up each week.

Gamifying learning often works for teens, so Duolingo where they can see their progress is good for languages, and things like Blutick for Maths (free atm).

I wouldn't worry too much about sticking to a rigid schedule and trying to make them learn if they're not into it - just keep it light and fun and they'll be fine.

@cupcakehurricane101 I actually home educate my children full time and we are usually done by lunch. No way would we spend four hours a day!

@cupcake I think I am lucky with our school - the teachers are clear they are only putting work up due to parent pressure and although we like the teacher videos to get her enthused, we could do without the updating of work. They've suggested we email work to keep the contact but it doesn't seem as strict as other schools. We sent in a painting dd did today and that will probably be put on their website despite not being requested. I picked a school that didn't put too much pressure on with homework though, I know other schools are more structured which is a blessing and a curse.

I’m not. We’re both working from home. It’s enough to keep children alive at the moment. We take breaks to feed them, make sure they have drinks, check they’re ok, issue new colouring in sheets, etc. then its back to work expecting them to fend for themselves. They get an hour of one of us playing with them before tea. Yesterday I chased them round the garden. They love that time and I’m not forcing them to do work then.

The parents what's app group is too stressful for me. It doesn't seem like any of them are working and have all day to do lovely crafty activities.

^^ Agree. I can’t look at mine as it’s a constant reminder that other kids are having a much better time at the moment. That’s my guilt to deal with and I know some other families are in much worse positions, just I’m aware of how much we’re asking from ours.

I have 3 kids... 6,4 and 1. And quite frankly it's not! I would love someone who is telling me to home school to be a fly on the wall here for a few hours! My house is more like a nursery, just trying to stop them all fighting etc. We may get our oldest to do so.e writing or maths for 20 mins each day and even that is a chore! Our 1 year old is very high needs, even making lunch can be a chore. I do sometimes feel bad for not doing more with our eldest but it's really hard!

So out of interest for the teachers here, after you've sent out the daily tasks, what are you doing apart from waiting for tasks to come back in?
I'd suggest doing more tea sipping than I am tbh. Does it take 4 hours to mark the work?

cupcake we teachers are juggling just like you. I am teaching my own 5 and 6 year old DC, replying to all parents emails and questions, printing and marking submitted work and then scanning and sending it back with feedback. Plus attending virtual school meetings and trying to find time to complete all of the training we have been asked to do! Please don’t assume that we are finding it any easier than you are. This is a tough time.

I find it highly irritating that I'm not getting paid for it though. It's eating into my time and I'm being bombarded with work I did not ask for, no idea what all the teacher jargon means, I'm not a trained teacher so it's difficult to interpret the actual work I'm supposed to be doing.
Bombarded with emails daily, ten already this morning, task after task. This is extra stuff placed upon my life.
Why can't I just teach my child writing and reading etc my own way until the schools open again?

Why can't I just teach my child writing and reading etc my own way until the schools open again?

Just do that then, it’s fine. Honestly. Email the school to let them know (if you want) and then just delete the emails as they arrive. You might get one checking everything is ok, just reply to that. All will be well.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-52314856

Some good ideas and helpful tips here for those that want to facilitate home learning, if that suits them. It’s balanced, positive, and explains that it’s quality, not quantity that counts. :)

“Prof Gillespie says parents should not worry too much on how much time the child spends learning: "It's much better to have a really successful hour where the child enjoys their work, then watches telly."