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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Weekend stay

14 replies

Ann87 · 19/04/2020 20:56

My ex wants r daughter to stay over at his every other weekend which I have no problem with only for the fact that he refuses to give me his address he has countless excuses for this "he doesn't want the neiboubors to see me"ect suppose I'm asking what you would do is it unreasonable for me to say no till I have a address

OP posts:

Cherrysoup · 19/04/2020 20:57

I don’t think I’d like this, but he isn’t obliged. Do you think he will refuse to return her or something?

RedRed9 · 19/04/2020 20:57

he doesn't want the neiboubors to see me
What kind of excuse is this? Why can’t the neighbours see you?

Cabinfever10 · 19/04/2020 20:58

Yadnbu
What have his neighbours got to do with your knowing his address?
Is he living with someone else

Racmactac · 19/04/2020 20:59

Well then she doesn't stay. It's not unreasonable to expect to have an address of where the child is staying.

Original poster

Ann87 · 19/04/2020 21:03

I'm not sure what he means by that there have been many excuses tbh and yes he lives with his partner

OP posts:

WhyCantIThinkOfAGoodOne · 19/04/2020 21:09

That's very strange. I do think it's totally reasonable to want to know where your daughter is staying as presumably he does when she's with you.

Cabinfever10 · 19/04/2020 21:11

I suspect that its the partner who doesn't want you to know where they live, how old is your dd? And how long have you been separated

JiltedJohnsJulie · 19/04/2020 21:12

Have you got a Child Arrangement Order in place? If not, I'd think about doing that. You may still to have his address, but at least the Court will have it and you can enforce through the Court if she isn't given back.

Original poster

Ann87 · 19/04/2020 21:19

No order in place he did once give me a address and when I offered to drop her off for the weekend he blew up at me later found out it was a fake address he had given me hense his reaction when I offered to drop her.Im just sick of the same conversation with him it all seems to so daft and easily sorted

OP posts:

Runnerduck34 · 19/04/2020 22:16

Really strange behaviour, i would not be happy with it either, in case of emergency and for peace of mind you need his address and to know where your daughter is staying. I assume he knows your address? If so its perfectly reasonable for you to know his unless there are sound legal reasons/ court order/ restraining order etc

AdoptAdaptImprove · 19/04/2020 22:31

Does he pay child maintenance? If not, could he be worried that you’ll pursue him for it if you have his address? He’s an idiot either way - of course you need to know where the child you share is, in case of emergencies.

Cookiemonster92 · 19/04/2020 22:45

Not a chance would I let my DS stay with anyone if I didn’t know the address, regardless of who they were! YANBU!

JiltedJohnsJulie · 20/04/2020 09:56

No way would I hand over my DC for a weekend under these circumstances.

I would apply for a Child Residence Order yourself. If you are on benefits or a low income, you may be entitled to help with the Court fee.

MarthasGinYard · 20/04/2020 09:58

'he did once give me a address and when I offered to drop her off for the weekend he blew up at me later found out it was a fake address he had given me hense his reaction when I offered to drop her.'

'Fake addresses' where you dc might be residing.

Absolutely NO CHANCE

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