Am i made of Stone?

[onlyfoolsnhorses]

So my hubby said to me recently that if my dad died I prob wouldn't care as I'm cold and distant. I said no it's just that my dad has always been socially awkward and a strange kind of dad to us, and I was really afraid of him when younger as he was super strict and I was often getting in trouble. When we visit my dad it's mostly my hubby chatting away to him Altho I do make the effort too of course. I can't explain why we are so awkwatd with each other it's just how it is. He's like it with my sisters too but they are less shy than me I guess

And with my mum I do love her too also same as my dad and no awkwardness there but I don't feel hugely close to her. I phone her lots but we are very very different ppl with different views on lots of stuff.

So am I gonna be the only sibling standing at either of my parents funeral not crying?

Until they actually die you don’t know how you will react. Grief is very personal and will be experienced differently by each of us. Hopefully your dh will support you no matter how you grieve and not judge you. I always thought my dh was quite emotionally detached from his mother but he was at her bedside night and day till she passed away.

I always thought my dh was quite emotionally detached from his mother but he was at her bedside night and day till she passed away.

Ditto. DH was close to his DF but not his DM. After his DF died, it seemed like DH couldn't wait for his DM to die. But once it became clear she was close to death, he cried openly - I was surprised! He spent most of a week sitting with her up to the end.

Grief can be a complex emotion, OP.

onlyfoolsnhorses my father sounded just like yours. Mine died over 20 years ago and to this day I haven't cried. But it doesn't mean I'm cold.
Everyone mourns in a different way.