Tracking teenager's phone

[Lol1973]

Just wondering what your views are on tracking your teenager's phone ?
Thanks

I'd say there's a case for making covert tracking unlawful (except in the case of stolen property). A covert tracker is a gift to an abuser.

MY dgd phone is tracked, every word she types and every photo she sends can be seen by her Mum who also has ever password and can remotely un/lock the phone to control how much time DGD has on the phone. This was a condition of DGD getting a phone, the day she leaves school every tracker etc will be turned off as will the contract and she will be responsible for funding her own contract.

@Purpleartichoke, I’m exactly the same as you with my DCs.

@Lol1973

You need to say how old she is - teenager could be 13 or 19, the situations are a bit different!

iPhones have location as standard which can be turned on and off. I really don’t see he privacy issue with a dependent? Where on earth should or could they be from their parents that they wouldn’t want them to know about?

Although I turned off my oldest child’s at their request when they were mid 16. And subsequently they did get in a pickle where I could have done with knowing their whereqbouts! They got totally lost and into trouble. Had no idea where they were.

And then said child lost the phone... and we could not get it back without location!

And I was totally up front with them from the start. You want a phone? It will have location turned on. I also share my location with them.

I really wouldn’t know why you would disapprove of another parent though OP! Way way better than a parent who doesn’t monitor their child’s devices and locations.

We use the apple app to share location, DH knows where I am and vice versa. DS is too young for a phone but has an iPod touch the he considers to be his phone. He's used to us using the share feature to bing the phone or iPod if we can't find it, and tracks Daddy's journey home from work. It's never used in a negative way. I expect him to agree to this as part of the deal for getting a phone, it's about his safety and our peace of mind. Maybe when he is 18 then we'd agree to take it off if he wanted to, but I'd hope by then he'd never feel it had been used as an invasion of his privacy.

Why are you telling her. The right thing to do is have a discussion with her parents.

Depends on the age.
I’m tracking my 15 year old son when I need to know how far he is, or which way he’s walking home. Occasionally I catch him on the map where he’s very close to local shop and ask him to pick something up. Before the lockdown, obviously.

No I wouldn’t. I have three teenage girls and don’t track any of them. I have all their friends numbers in my contacts and I know who they are going out with so if there was a problem and they didn’t answer I can text their friends to get them to call me. I’ve always asked them to call or text now and then thro the evening so I know all fine and if they are going to be late which they do respect. One of my daughters friends mum put a tracker on her phone and she has left it at our house before so her mum doesn’t know where she is which is risky Far better to trust them and keep communication going in my opinion

I'd suggest if she's not old enough to figure out how 'find my phone'/location settings work then she's young enough for her parents to keep an eye on her.

@lowlandLucky that's a bit extreme!

We all have Google location sharing switched on. Its dead handy- dd17 phones to say "can I get a lift from Lucy's house" and I don't need to do the 20 questions to find out where Lucy's house is (they never ever say, its at 12 Smith Street, its always, you know that church that we went to the fete at 10 years ago, well its sort of near there but not really...)
But, we all know its on. Dd can switch it off anytime she likes, ds13 can't, or he has his phone confiscated. The kids like it, they can see where I am and check how long till I'll be home, or whatever.

As long as the teenager is aware of this happening, I don’t see a problem with it.

I think it's a good idea. Ie the 'find my friends' app - but it needs to be open and honest. Putting it on sneakily is wrong imo, unless the teenager has proved they cannot be trusted and I worried for their safety

We are all on Find My on the iPhone. We all set it up together. They use it for tracking me more than I use it for tracking them! As far as I’m concerned, I pay for the phones so they’re mine. It’s just the norm in our house. I don’t stop them going anywhere - they both have small local tight knit friendship groups - but it’s useful to know where they are without having to phone them.

Mine are 17 and 23 now and I have had their passwords since they first got social media and location sharing on since it was available.

It has always been an open process. I used to ask them to give me their phones so I could check their social media when they were younger.

I now have their passwords for the same reason as they know mine; if something happens to one of us, we can still access their accounts.

We all have location sharing on. It's not used often but if one of us wants to see when someone will be home or whether they're in time to get DH to pop into the supermarket on the way home, it's really useful. It's not much use at the moment of course.

It's also helped me see that DD1 is OK if she's been out riding a horse on her own for longer than expected.

I think it has to be an honest and fair arrangement. She should know that she can be located by her parents at any time.

It's great when they are coming home at 3am/start driving /friends who are driving etc, they don't need to let me know, I can see that they are walking from a friend's or in a taxi from another town after clubbing and I can sleep easy. My eldest has no restrictions on where they can be or a curfew (18)but for safety it's great.

We all share our location, we all have iPhones.

DD got lost on her daily walk yesterday, and I talked her through how to find her way by seeing where she was on the location tracker.

We use it a lot and it is not a problem for us.

MY dgd phone is tracked, every word she types and every photo she sends can be seen by her Mum who also has ever password and can remotely un/lock the phone to control how much time DGD has on the phone. This was a condition of DGD getting a phone, the day she leaves school every tracker etc will be turned off as will the contract and she will be responsible for funding her own contract.

Part of protecting children is teaching them to gradually start taking control and risk assessing for themselves with you as a back up. I hope your DGD is going to be given guidance and a gradual relaxation of the rules and the monitoring so that, when she takes over her contract, she has the skills she needs to manage it and keep herself safe.

Poppinjay Dgd is already given guidance, she is a very switched on 12 year old. She travels between her own home and her Fathers which is 80 miles away ( one train) and to my home which is over 400 miles away on her own( 2 trains or 1 aircraft and one train)

Young SIL was wayward at one point. I suggested to MIL to track. At 11-14 really don’t see a problem with it. Any older and I think it needs to be more based on trust but safety comes first when they’re that young

Fine. No issues.

I've never tracked my kids' phones, never felt the need. They're now 17 and 19 and we still don't track each other. For young teens I can see the point.