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My 5 year old daughter refuses to do any activities

10 replies

Anxietyqueen1987 · 19/04/2020 11:48

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My 5 year old daughter refuses to do any activities1
Today 11:07Anxietyqueen1987

I've lost count of how many weeks we've been in lockdown but I am really, really struggling. My 5 year old daughter is Autistic (moderately-severe) and she refuses to do any kind of activity. I've tried reading her storys, painting, colouring, kinetic sand, oobleck (water and cornflour), baking etc but she wont do any of it. She really stuggles to communicate and is very much like a toddler and I am at my wits end with it all now. We live in a top floor, one bedroom flat with no garden - I do take her out for exercise but even that is stressful as she doesn't understand social distancing and will try and run over to people. She never sleeps, I am lucky if I can get her to sleep before 11 pm at night. My downstairs neighbour is also getting fed up and is banging on the ceiling because of all the noise and jumping (which I completely get). Is anyone else in this situation? The only thing my daughter wants to do is go on her amazon fire tablet and that is it. Am I asking to much of her? Should I just let her play on her tablet during this unusual time?

OP posts:
GinDrinker00 · 19/04/2020 11:50

I really wouldn’t worry. My 9 year old has autism and adhd... he’s spent 3 weeks solid on farming stimulator on the PS4 playing with other kids stuck in lockdown.
If it gets them through the day without a meltdown, it’s allowed in my book.

crazydiamond222 · 19/04/2020 11:55

Mine too, my 9 year old DS with severe autism currently spends 10 hours a day on an ipad. He is very stressed with the lockdown and the ipad helps him calm down. I don't want to put any additional pressure on him atm plus I have a newborn to look after too. Just do what you need to to get through the days. It is only a short period in your daughters life.

Ponoka7 · 19/04/2020 12:06

My autistic DD, with moderate LD's and S&L issues lived online when she was younger. It expanded her world. She found manga and anime before it was popular. That started a interest in Chinese and Japanese culture. She learned a lot about the natural world because she needed to learn visually.

She found a peer group as a teen online.
She is now 22, she did a mainstream level 3 college course and works. She now has friends who she holidays outside the UK with. It hasn't held her back. I think she'd be less able if i hadn't have let her interests guide me.

I tried doing activities with her, she admitted to me at 12 that i was making her miserable by pushing them.

I did the same with my eldest who has ADHD and dyslexia and she is now a manager, having used her strengths, one being energy levels and worked her way up. I was terrified when she started high school because she wasn't capable of the work. She was put in a unit, but found her interests as an adult.

They need some guidance but you've got to let them lead at times.

Anxietyqueen1987 · 19/04/2020 12:13

Thank you all for your responses, I feel so much better now

OP posts:
Lamentations · 19/04/2020 12:30

Thanks for posting this OP, it's made me feel better about mine too.

Ilovetea09 · 19/04/2020 13:27

Hello sending hugs to you. My boy is nearly 9 and has mild sen but sounds similar to your child.
Throughout his life he has never played with toys, ever. Despite having many. Before he had his x box there was nothing in life that gave him pleasure and filled his time. I do limit his time on there but it helps him and it also helps me to focus on my other child and give me abit of chill time. Otherwise its very intense. I would let your daughter do whatever she wants during this time.

Porcupineinwaiting · 19/04/2020 14:27

Is school an option for her (I'm guessing she has an EHCP)? Would you be happy with that?

Anxietyqueen1987 · 19/04/2020 14:40

She does have an EHCP and goes to a specialist school but I'm not sure if thats something I should do. I'm in two minds about it.

OP posts:
Anxietyqueen1987 · 19/04/2020 14:40

@Lamentations I'm so glad you've found this helpful

OP posts:
Anxietyqueen1987 · 19/04/2020 14:41

@Ilovetea09 Thank You

OP posts:
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