This may be down to the fact I’m 39 weeks pg and in constant pain but jesus my DH has some horrendously annoying habits. Hoping for some lighthearted relief on this thread!
- Has a in-bed ritual of holding his breath so he can go back to sleep. He has explained it like that and it’s most bizarre. He also does it in his sleep too. I feel my heart sinking when I’m laid awake and can hear him holding his breath as I know what’s coming next. Extremely high pitched squeaks, like if you stood on a ferret repeatedly. Staggered breathing (mouth and nose) accompanied with groans and full body shakes that create an earthquake on the bed. I often think ‘I can help you with not breathing it you want’🤣
- He just doesn’t know how to breathe in general. I sometimes think his mother didn’t teach him (I jest, you’re born knowing how to breathe I know🤣). Breathing and eating at the same time is impossible for him as he’s a mouth breather. He also rushes his food like someone’s stood there waiting to steal it. This is a horrific combo. Smack smack smack of food blubbering from mouth between bites followed by a humongous sniffle.
- The speed in which he eats. I blame PILs for this one. This means we can’t enjoy our food together and I’m often left looking like a tit when we eat out. Also means I’m rushed by him or he leaves me sat at the dining table eating alone. I’m made to feel like a criminal if I take more than 10 minutes to finish a large meal. I made a steak dinner last night and within a minute of the plate gracing the table 80% of the food was gone. He is akin to a dog in this respect and if we had one I’d probably make them eat together. And don’t get me started on the constant scraping of food onto his fork with the knife to accommodate his eating speed. He’ll grind the plates down in no time! When I bring him up on why he eats so fast his response is ‘I like to taste the flavour of my food, that won’t happen if I keep stopping’. As if food loses all flavour after a certain timeframe🙄
- Last but not least. Without going into too much detail. The fact I have to clean the toilet pretty much every day. What is it with men? Unless I‘ve got a stomach bug then it’s like I never used the toilet🤣 He costs me an arm and a leg in Domestos